It sounds like you are still doing OK Evelyn...I hope so..
When you started this LAST quit...I could tell by the way you seem to be approaching this, that this IS your final quit...
Sometimes you can just tell that someone "HAS" it...you seem to have it this time...i know there will be bumps in the road, but I believe you will get through them..
you are doing the right thing by posting here...any time things seem overwhelming...send out the SOS...thats what it is for..and as long as you realize that you are reaching out for help...you have to also realize its up to you to accept it...
just get through the hard moments, and you will have less and less of them...
i think you also know that on some level you know Bakon is right ...the whole "trick" to stop smoking, is to stop nicotine..THAT is what your body wants, and doesn't care how it gets it...that's why when you are not giving it the gum (thats loaded with nicotine), it is telling you to smoke then to get it.....I understand everyone's quit is different..at least HOW we quit is different...in the end..we are all the same...we have QUIT NICOTINE..in every form....so...with that said (and I hope it doesn't sound like a scolding..i tend to come off that way but dont mean to..)...you are just going to have to "bite the bullet" soon and come to the realization that you CAN QUIT NOW!...everything...
When-ever you are ready to take that step, dont be afraid...we have all done it...none of us have become sick or died because of it, but we have had help from others on here (and in "real" life)..and..i can assure you..you will get all the support from us that we can give..its up to you to take that step...it will be up to us to carry you when you feel like you are slipping..
Just remember...its your MIND telling you that quitting is hard ..your body will do whatever your mind tells it to do.....you have control over those thoughts..when you feel you are ready to completely quit ....push the negative thoughts aside, and think about the positive ones...I am sure you have already noticed some things that are great now that you dont smoke..one of the biggest things i noticed, is I no longer have to go outside around the corner and "hide" while I smoke..
You may look at a smoker and wish you could smoke too...but the reality of it is..that smoker is looking at YOU and admiring the fact that you are strong enough NOT TO SMOKE!! I have yet to come across even one person who smokes that doesn't wish that they would quit...your just 1 step away from being a "fore-ever" quitter...you know you have gone through some of the hardest parts that are involved in quitting...and..you will still have a few hard things to overcome...but you are closer to quitting than you think...you just have to keep going forward..dont look back..behind you is NOT what you want...the prize is in front of you..
we have faith in you...YOU need to have faith in you...you got this!!