DenaliBlues

Congratulations on hitting the nine-month milestone, @Kris. A major achievement! Thanks for being part of my quit crew, and for sticking with me even when I get a little strange...

Exhausting run uphill.

Me, too, @JustinHoot99. I'm still dodging triggers, reminders, desires. They do seem to be getting weaker, as you say. Or perhaps we are getting stronger. It's especially hard for me when I'm outdoors. I never smoked inside or in my car. I stepped out on the back porch, or lit up after a drive, or paused on a hike to enjoy the scenery with a smoke. Being outside has been intertwined with smoking ever since I lit my first cigarette in the woods behind my house when I was 8. Smoking while "watching nature TV" has been my happy place my whole life. I guess it's going to take a while to reprogram 47 years of associations and get happy without the grip of nicotine. I need to spend the day out in the yard today starting spring cleanup. I. Will. Not. Smoke. But I might pout a little bit.

2. Put them on my Cream of Rice (yup, every time)

Attaway to Keep the Quit, @JustinHoot99!

Being reckless in new galoshes. SLOSH

Eventually need this earwax removed. waxer

Yabbering aimlessly while not smoking. BALLS

emergency broadcast network (beep)

IBC Root Beer

Congratulations, @Gus on your big anniversary. So happy for you, and thankful for you, too. Happy freedom!

Tandoori eel, delicious.

tabbouleh

Dandruff enhances glamor. (sorry, should have been allure... little bitta dyslexia... o well)

Didn't go swimmingly.

Agreed with @Linda... I appreciate your sharing this, Jillar. Bumping these older posts and blogs helps me learn more about what the quitting journey is like, about the perils that lurk in the bushes along the way. How many sinus infections and bouts of bronchitis did I smoke through? So many. Your story is real. It's motivating. It also helps me, as a newcomer, get to know you a little better. I'm very grateful you are here.

Personally, my weeks were: 1. Hell Week (White hot raging withdrawal.) 2. Wailing Week (Shock wore off. A deep sense of loss and longing set in.) 3. WTF Week (Jillar totally nailed that one. What now? Will this ever get easier? What has gone wrong with my brain? Why has my IQ dribbled out the bottom of my shoes? How long have I been staring vacantly into space? Will I ever poop normally again?) 4. So-Bored-With-My-Coping-Mechanisms Week (This could also have been named “Terribly Tired of Prunes Week,” but perhaps nuff said on that topic.) I haven’t finished week 5 yet, so I don’t know what it’s called for me. It is certainly a time when my triggers are being tripped and my quit is really being tested. I’m able to laugh more, though I might be disconsolate the very next minute. I definitely have toddler moments. And sullen teenager moments. And feeling absolutely ancient moments. It’s humbling to feel this unmoored. I must say this forum has been super helpful and grounding throughout the whole adventure. Who knew I had people? But apparently now I have people. Such a nice discovery.

Hi @Kate18. Thanks for sharing what’s going on with you. Apart from the symptoms you are having, it sounds really tough to be worried about what they might mean. Good for you for guarding your quit while you go through that uncertainty. That’s motivating for me. Enjoy your cider, too! Reading your post makes me realize that I have struggled a lot with self-soothing. Hard to say whether that was one of the reasons I started smoking in the first place, or whether my trouble self-soothing was actually a byproduct of the smoking, itself. (Because even >1 pack a day was not "enough." The nicotine crowded out everything else, even though "ahhh" was just a crappy disappointing illusion that always slipped away.) It will be interesting to see if quitting eventually changes that for me? Maybe when I hit the 2+ year mark like you I will know more! Anyway, take good care and keep us posted.