Hey, @Brioski. You are not crazy. Quitting is a big/hard job that can be really painful at times.
Everyone’s experience is different, but personally speaking I have yet to experience anything resembling quitting euphoria… no sunshine and rainbows and frolicking smoke-free unicorns gamboling about while a choir of nonsmoking angels sings. My soundtrack is more like crying and screaming and cussing, LOL.
BUT….
I am still here. And so are you, my dear. Take pride in what you’ve achieved and have hope.
Doreen and Jillar are 100% right that no long term quitters would be here if it didn’t get better. It does, if you stick with it.
So stick with it! Find your ferocity. Get support for whatever sorrows, anxiety or aggravations you are experiencing in your life. (Because sorrows, anxiety and aggravations will NOT diminish due to smoking… smoking just makes us feel more sh**ty on top of them.) Smoking never resolved an argument with my mate, cured an illness, prevented the death of a loved one, solved a work problem, or filled a void inside of me that needed my loving attention. All smoking ever did was pour poison into a suffering soul. No more!! We are breaking that cycle of addiction.
Cravings happen - your measure of success can’t be absence of cravings. (Cuz if that were the goal, I’d be flunking!) Success is about waving those lousy cravings off and focusing on other things - not giving them power.
Your staying quit so far PROVES you can do this!! It will get easier if you allow yourself to heal over time.
You are stronger than you think you are…