KEL

@SunnysideGuess I am the welcoming committee this morning! Glad you are here.

Ah-thanks again for all the words of support my QT buddies! I am grateful that I landed here. Still not sure how that happened except that I have always loved trains. The magic of Google. I'm not feeling particularly strong or insightful at the moment. Maybe its just mid-winter ennui or maybe this is just another layer to peel in the healing process that, at least for me, is like an onion. I fortunately have tissue boxes conveniently located throughout the dwelling to sop up the tears when they flow. All I know TODAY is that smoking did (F-ck All) zippity-do-dah to help resolve anything although, at the time, I believed it did. I think we all did, right? Maybe the "longing" to smoke is really a longing for simpler days? And yet I am not sure things are any more complicated now than they ever were-I just have more years on me to ruminate and fuss. I think I am turning into one of those people that I used to make fun of, i.e. "Back in the day...." Although I think we can all agree the 80's were a pretty spectacular decade, the threat of nuclear annihilation notwithstanding. Or maybe the "longing" to smoke is to connect back with my younger self who was more hopeful and curious. I know the pandemic has done a number on all of us in really odd ways-the lack of connection with others in person, the speed at which information is flying at us. So perhaps what I am feeling is not unique to being on a quit journey or at least that is not the entire story? The upside (and it is a HUGE upside) is that, every day, I get to come here and see my progress as well as that of everyone else on the Freedom Train. That's sure something to be happy about, something to celebrate. As I have mentioned, I am participating in 12-step groups for nicotine recovery and oh-wow-so-glad-those-early-days-are-behind-me! Those years of struggling to quit, round-and-round we would go. Then the fist days, weeks of a quit where I was in withdrawal. Yuck. So yuck. The oddest thing is that I can feel what it would be like to pick up a cigarette and its awful. So I have to assume this current phase is a sort of in-between world? As @garry mhudsonsaid, "worst days behind you." I am going to hold on to that. Thanks for listening-blessings to all.

NOPE.

Congrats! That is an outstanding accomplishment...

Yes. Thank you. I make flash cards. I am (with your permission) going to update my stack with the above.

Thanks again everyone-means so much to have your support.

Good on you. @nicotine_free I believe NRT actually makes it harder. And its hard enough dealing with the psychological part if the drug is still in the system. Glad you are here.

Thanks all! Sure appreciate you....

NOPE

Congratulations and yes thank you. I always look forward to seeing posts from a veteran of the nicotine wars. Gives me hope.

Yes please. Take care of yourself.

Now this is an interesting thread! I love the fact that everyone has different ways of approaching things. The proof, in my opinion, is in the pudding. I like the NOPE pledge because it makes me accountable, to my word, to this group. I also admit (daily) that I am powerless over nicotine (alcohol) and that my life is unmanageable. I found in my booze quit that I lost the desire completely after a few years. At the 10-year mark, I gave myself permission to drink again. Ironies of all ironies, I did not want it. And I was at a very low place in my life with everything circling the drain. I agree that you can pledge all day long and it means nothing. But I also agree that its important to take steps in the right direction, to show up each day with intention to remain abstinent and to focus on the benefits of doing so. As addicts, we are all just one puff from a relapse. I don't think that is scary; I believe that fact forces me to work on myself and show up for other people because that is what helps me to feel worthwhile and included.

@KdadHi! I'm glad you are here. Like you, I have relapsed before but this time I am determined not to get caught up in the loop of smoking. Its tedious and robs me (and everyone around me) of joy. I guess what I would say that if you are alone, all the more reason to reach out to people on the internet. I am also involved in NicA and they have meetings at all hours, on zoom and another application called Paltalk. People to talk to and share with so we don't go back to our old "friend" nicotine.

NOPE

@PricciI too quit cold turkey this time. The weaning off is a bitch but once its done, its done. Then the thing to do is not pick up again as it starts the physical process all over. Welcome to the group-stay close. We've all been there and its that feeling that kept many of us in the loop of the addiction. But there is a lot of recovery here!

@intoxicated yodaThanks for the update. I have to remind myself it is progress not perfection. Each day (hour, minute) we don't smoke is a success. And that is our only goal because the rewards from not lighting up continue to accumulate. I, too, have that gnawing feeling. But I remind myself it was worse when I smoked. And when I smoked, I piled on all the guilt, shame and FEAR of what the cigarettes were doing. I'm not sure we ever get to a permanent state of well-being or optimism. Just not sure that is the way it is supposed to go. Instead I think this is our big cosmic classroom and we are continuing learning how to love-ourselves mainly. Hope everyone on the QT has a beautiful day. Sending positive vibes from sunny Colorado. K

NOPE

@gum_addictAnd the blessing of NOPE is that the cravings go away. Sometimes quickly; sometimes slowly. But eventually it becomes a distant memory.

@gum_addictWay to go.

NOPE

Congratulations! and thanks for the inspiration.

NOPE.

NOPE

@Kate18Thank you for sharing.

@gum_addictEveryone is different but for me I found involvement with other quitters helps enormously. I am on the site several times a day and post often. Its a felt-sense of a loving community whose only desire is that I do not smoke. And that is my wish for them as well. The nice thing is that we don't have to be in the cold anymore-at least that is where I smoked. And given the altitude, quitting sure makes motion easier. Hang in.