KEL

Hi there! Just wanted to say welcome because everyone was so welcoming to me. We always figure out a way around the obstacles to getting our fix. Does anyone remember being able to smoke on an aircraft? Or when there were no-smoking sections in a restaurant, meaning you could smoke in a restaurant? One of the greatest gifts of quitting is not having to plan around things anymore. To not have to go through the mental gymnastics of trying to figure out whether you can get outside and back in in time to get your flight. Or whether you will be kicked out of a rental property because you smoked. But, most importantly, there is waking up in the morning and not having to smoke. And, the kicker? Not wanting to. Wishing this for you. Karen

Thank you! And you too. Fellow Canadian although my people are from Vancouver. I did get to your town many years ago and it was cool. Let's be free from this monster, no?

Congratulations. That is a pretty amazing turn-around.

Thank you for the accolades friends but my motivations are selfish. I have had some serious challenges over the last few months in every area of my life. It seems everyone I encounter these days is having challenges in our "post-pandemic" world. I needed to feel better about myself because I was way into the depths of my sick thinking. Doing this reminds me that, but for the grace of God, there go I.

Its a beautiful sentiment. Sadly, she is very ill at least by our societal norms. I found her chats with her imaginary friends very articulate. Normally, I am all about giving advice to others, carrying the message. But this position is a challenge to my big brain in that I am only there to be of service, to love. To provide a safe non-judgmental space for women whose lives are likely beyond "repair." Until we have resources to truly care for the mentally ill in our midst, self-medication is the reality. Its humbling but the gratitude I have for being able to sleep on a church basement floor (a few nights a week) and not to think about how to get a smoke in is lovely. You know I think I will get rid of it even though its not an "official" ashtray. Thanks for the suggestion!

Linda that is strong. To have the presence of mind to stay true to yourself in the face of weakened inhibitions. I am so grateful I don't drink anymore because i think it would be almost impossible to do so without smoking. Thanks to all of you who replied!

I am sitting out on the patio next to my "ashtray" which is empty. Started me contemplating benchmarks of smoking cessation success which are challenging in the first months due to, well, you all know. So here goes: I was at the shelter (where I am volunteering) the other night. A client who is schizophrenic and unmedicated asked me if I smoked. She was clearly in need of a fix. I was able to say "no." I was further able to decide that going over to the convenience store to get her a pack was not in my best interests. Anyone else have a quit win or wins?

Hey Yoda, Hoping your night got more peaceful. I, for one, appreciate the candor. Having been through a couple of quits, the "bloat" (especially for a woman because there is so much other hormonal nonsense going on) is a real physical side-effect of the lack of nicotine. Its really hard to feel positive about not smoking when your body seems to go to different states of hell after quitting. All I can recommend is exercise a lot, drink a lot of water, and eat a lot of dried fruit. Cascara sagrada is an herb that may also assist. Again in my experience, it does stabilize with time. Wishing you strength.

Nothing wrong with going through the motions so long as they don't include smoking. Fake it until you make it comes to mind. Blessings.

Oh dear. I also went to a "BS" concert Gus. I do believe Pat Benatar was my first concert-back in the days of arena gigs.

Thank you so much for responding. Means a great deal to me. I appreciate all of the suggestions. Don't know how to respond individually but in reading Justin's post my response is: don't be hard on yourself. I did read your relapse post and you made a decision to use again. As I did in every one one of my relapses whether from booze or smokes. We absolutely know we are going there and, as you said, just get so ******* tired of fighting it. In retrospect, each relapse gave me very necessary information. Each time, I felt as though I was being deprived of something that was valuable, a tool that allowed me to live life on my terms. Ironically, addiction is the exact opposite because it controls us. This time thanks to Allen's writings (so ironic he dies of lung cancer 26 years after quitting and helping so many to quit), there is the firm understanding there is NO BENEFIT WHATSOEVER to smoking. So figure out the trigger, work through it and trust it need not be as hard the next time. I always remember long-time AA members telling us relapse is part of recovery. I don't like that much but its true. Again, thanks for all the support.

Hi everyone. I have been reading your posts over the last several days and wanted to thank you all for sharing the challenge. Its provided me some much needed support. Rather than lurk in the background, I am posting. For the first time ever on any site. I am not on social media and am a Luddite sadly. Like most, I have a long history with addiction. Will celebrate 21 years of sobriety from alcohol (God-willing) in a month but picked up smoking again (after a ten year quit) when circling the drain with that monster. I've had several quits since but nothing stuck for more than a couple of months. I read Allan Carr's book ("Easyway for Women") over the summer and went to an in-person session in September. Unfortunately, hit a crisis point 9 days in and relapsed. Got back on it with a follow-up video seminar and have been free for over a month now. Again like most everyone who struggles with this addiction, I have tried all sorts of tricks to negotiate the demon including NRT, hypnotherapy, meditation, 12-step, "moderation." This time I made flashcards with key points from the seminar/book. These help me when I get into the "blank-spaces," when picking up seems like the solution to whatever imaginary problem my mind can concoct. Rather whatever excuse the addiction manufactures to convince me that smoking is a jolly-good idea. What struck me most from the Carr book is the understanding that I smoke to feel like a non-smoker. Like all addicts, I am trying to get back to the feeling I had BEFORE the first hit (age 16). Not understanding that the instant I ingested nicotine, I bought a one-way ticket to hell. This time I was able to get that I was in withdrawal the entire time I smoked. That understanding has really shifted things for me. Its so damn obvious these things, right? Except the junkie mind is so good at avoiding the obvious. I thought it helped with depression which is a huge relapse trigger for me. But it seems that tobacco, on balance, may in fact contribute to the depressive state to begin with. At least studies suggest a link. I am still exploring this but after a month completely nicotine free, I actually am feeling happier or more at peace than I have maybe ever? Its a pretty big statement and I still have difficult moments but I am going to go with unbridled optimism. On a Wednesday no less. Because, if I am completely honest, all moments when I was smoking were difficult. I just told myself they weren't. Stream of consciousness. Just wishing each and everyone of you Godspeed. Karen