KEL

This is not my first quit but it is the first time I have jumped into on-line support. Lurked about in 2005 which I am now realizing was the predecessor site in all likelihood. It makes a difference. I look forward to each and every person's comments. Even if they just do a "like" it lets me know I am not alone. There is a whole wave of support here to release that which no longer serves. Well, it never served; we just thought it did. Now armed with information and like-minded friends, we can hour-by-hour, then day-by-day, get free. Eventually, it won't occupy the same headspace which is such a relief. Thanks and have a great day.

I had that experience @Jryan19982 last week. Absolutely disgusted. So grateful for that moment this early in my quit of almost two months (4 years in the making!). Thanks for showing up to encourage us newbies.

Hope you are able to ride it out. I know this well. Have no idea of why it happens but it seems to lessen the longer time I have away from nicotine. Distraction. It will pass.

NOPE!

I moved from Los Angeles, CA to Hooper, Colorado (population 135) in 2014. It was like I landed in some type of lunar hell: between living next to the Great Sand Dunes National Park with 60 MPH winds and brown-out in spring. Followed by multiple WEEKS of -25 to 40 degrees temps in the winter. It was very confusing when my sports car did not start as it was too damn cold (I've since purchased an AWD). Nonetheless I smoked outside, risking frostbite of course. That was true dedication. Don't let anyone tell us we (EX) smokers don't have commitment! One night I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment. Couldn't wake my landlords. Fortunately my neighbor let me sleep on her couch. Now, did I quit? Uh, no. I made sure I left a spare key outside so that I would never lock myself out again.

Smoking: waking up in the morning and thinking, "What-the-f--k. Another day."🤢 Not-smoking: waking up in the morning thinking, "What-the-f--k! Another day!😀

NOPE

Yeah well we are on a spectrum. 12 degrees the other morning. Then heats up to 65 or so. No complaints-just want the snow because it means WATER! Stay warm love.

@MLMRFor me, the desire to drink left after three years sober. I did really intense work (in two separate facilities) on the underlying issues. I gave myself permission to drink after ten years and found it held no interest. It was quite a revelation. Smoking, in my opinion, is far more insidious than booze. With alcohol, the downside was in my face, i.e. the likelihood (perhaps inevitability?) I would get in my car in a black-out and kill someone. My greatest fear was waking up one morning and realizing what I had done. Thankfully that did not happen but it was the motivation for a long time to get and stay sober. We all know the downsides of smoking but they evolve over a much longer period of time. What I needed to do was uncover the reason I thought smoking "helped" me. And then give myself the space, the time to see how I might feel without it. Its taken me a good four years to get to this place. My "quit" did not start when I stopped smoking. I have found recently that I am more peaceful, less depressed. Doesn't mean its not hard in moments but there is more gratitude than hardship at the moment. Both alcohol and nicotine are tools I used to self-medicate, to escape to a "place" that feels better than where I thought I was. So when I stopped using in the past, I went into a spiral. Took a lot of support and hard work to uncover the core issues. Now I have different tools to cope with my junkie mind. In my experience, "addiction" is the nature of the gig. We are all "addicted" to something. Perhaps another way is to consider the "addiction" is speaking, asking us to look more deeply. If we "put the addiction to sleep," it will eventually "wake up." I prefer to see my addictions as a gift, the impetus to explore the nature of life, love, God. Instead of punishment. To be relieved of the desire to harm (self or others) is a miracle for which I cannot take credit. All I can do is show up for the experience.

Morning! Here in the mountains of Colorado we are looking at a the mid-50's and no snow. Sadly. I appreciate the warmth but its too warm these days.

NOPE. @Cbdave Love the pictures. Thank you for sharing your beautiful country.

Thank you for the inspiration.

Hang In Darcy. It gets easier. Sending wishes for peaceful night for you. And for everyone on the train.

Congrats. What if you are just done? I think at some point we are given the gift of release. We work so hard at it and then when we least expect it, we find there is grace. Hoping that for you. Hoping that for me. Hoping that for everyone on the QT. Have a great night...

NOPE.

Stay strong! No need for shopping, booze, smokes OR covid! Hope you all are able to get some rest tonight.

Congrats! Hoping you are feeling so good. You deserve it!

NOPE.

Is it a "thought" (habit) to smoke or a true desire to smoke? For me, smoking served as a pacifier. I had severe physical trauma when I was little (2-3 years old) and, as a result, I sucked my thumb for years. I believe smoking was an extension of that, i.e. the need for some type of primal comfort. I had to go to speech therapy which was shaming. Braces for years. In unpacking this over the last four years (when I got serious about quitting), I realized that smoking does not do much to pacify the fear. In fact, it heightened it and kept it going. The more I smoked, the longer I smoked, the shittier I felt about myself. It was a spiral. I still have thoughts of smoking regularly-how could I (we) not? But every time I do, I remember just how bad it felt to do it. Somewhere there is the belief that we can go back to a time when smoking felt "good." I don't doubt there were many times I "thought" it was helping. Or was fun. But the truth is it hurt. And it smelled. And it made me feel disgusted with myself. What has begun to shift things for me (although not instantaneously) is to remove the thought/belief/feeling that smoking conferred any benefit whatsoever. I am militant with myself on this. Not sure if any of this resonates. Thanks for sharing and I'm sending prayers for strength your way.

I had one of those a few weeks ago. Rather horrifying because when you wake up you aren't sure what exactly is going on. For me, I take them as a sort of subconscious cleansing if you will. But it makes me ever vigilant. Hope you feel better soon!

Gluten-free, vegetarian, sober alcoholic. Sadly, the holiday doesn't hold much for me in the way of things I can enjoy. So I am headed to the gym and celebrating the fact that I do not need (or want) to smoke. At least for today. That is the biggest blessing I could ever hope for and am praying this upward trajectory continues. I am certainly going to stay close to you all in anticipation I too can enjoy sustained freedom. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and thanks for being here.

Congrats! I am right behind you. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Hope the day is blessed.

NOPE

NOPE.

I appreciated this so much. Just cruising through postings, reinforcing the commitment. No particular cravings thankfully. Was at the shelter last night and one of the clients asked me for a lighter. I got to say, "No I don't smoke." How lovely. I did find her a pack of matches in the bowels of my backpack and was just shocked at how bad it smelled. How even being near it just felt toxic. Feeling gratitude for the freedom but maintaining vigilance. Holidays are here and usually present us addicts with challenges. Hoping you all are well tonight. K