sharonsiff

Morning Evelyn So glad the professionals are in the loop and are supporting you in your quit. I personally don't doubt your desire to quit, not one bit, but admit to have posted my concerns about having a great spring board to jump from. You say you are fine so that's brilliant news. Head down, crack on, eyes on the prize....freedom.

Oh I love Karl Aine, do you watch him on An Idiot Abroad? Dovyou get that over the pond?

Hello and welcome to you both :)

Great news Evelyn, have a plan during craves or triggers. Hope you appointment went well today xx

Hi Marti, no, although I think Allen totally helps to turn gremlins into autopilots. No, this is the book by Dr Steve Peters, the psychiatrist behind 2012 GB cycling team. The book helps to ● Recognise how your mind is working ●understand and manage your emotions and thoughts ●manage yourself and become the person you want to be. I want to feel less flat so am using it to help sort out my current serotonin receptor problem...feel better already :) How do you feel now Marti, about your mum? Are you focusing on other things and letting it go? Did you have a barth? ;)

Hi Marti....in a nut shell Gremlins are unhelpful and destructive behaviours, beliefs or automatic programmes stored in the computer of your mind, the parietal. They are soft wired so are removable :) Examples of unhelpful gremlins, from time to time, are unrealistic expectations and unhelpful expectation. Example in the book is a gremlin that says 'I should always be on time' so if you are late, for whatever reason then it can lead to stress as you are going on to believe you should always be on time. So you can replace that gremlin with with an autopilot that says 'I would like to be on time whenever I can but sometimes this can't happen and it's not the end of the world and I will deal with it.' This is more realistic, likely to relax you and help you not over react when things don't go to plan. It then gives an example of always having to win to prove yourself. Say playing a game of tennis can be good fun if you have a belief that it's just a game and the outcome doesn't really matter. This doesn't mean you won't try but instead means that you have perspective. It then says however, if you have a belief that you have to win because it reflects on your worth as a person then the game will become intense and probably unplesant. So what you hold as a belief will definitely affect the way in which you handle outcomes or respond to them, whatever they are. It then says it is better to have realistic expectations or in some cases hold no expectations at all. Gives other examples of gremlins ●overreacting to situations ●eating every time you feel like it but don't need to ●beating yourself up ●worrying about decisions and not making them ● getting angry when you don't want to. Obviously Marti that page is in complete isolation as to how it fits in to the workings of and how to manage your mind. So I used it to say to EB...be realistic, your triggers are still there, the thoughts are unhelpful...so maybe folk who feel a whoosh of this could change their mind to I would rather not feel like this but it's to be expected really, and bears no reflection on my progress. Not that EB needs advising the words to replace with, he tends to errr on the side of positive anyway. I love this book Marti. So as Sarge says if you don't mind it don't matter But...if you do mind, if the thoughts folk have are unwelcome and it does matter...then address them.

Marti....out till after 8:30pm will share more of the page when I get back, if you want. You're not being a brat..lol You're just annoyed, and disappointed....normal feelingsvto have. Go run a barrth, distract yourself ;)

Exactly Beth, you have every right to do 'what suits' you and if being here suits you then that's their tough luck quite frankly...it really is. Rise above it, see it for what it is-unsettlement in their troop- just nature, nothing you can do about nature. I can understand it upset you though, it would most people who are in touch with their feelings. Glad you feel better ;)

I can see why they are 'on at you' we belong in troops/groups and you joining here has unsettled their troop....que attack. At least it's not in the jungle ;) there you get attacked even death ;) Walk away or face them and say that you are free to group wherever you feel you want to, reassure them it has no bearing on your friendship with them. Obviously, things might be said-truths out in the open- but if you do value their friendship it's got to be worth sorting. I imagine they feel you are being disloyal to them? I don't, I'm not judging were you go or what you do(makes no difference to me), but can imagine their feelings are hurt...so que attack/carping on, sadly.

Marti, you are doing wonderfully, you must be so pleased at your solid commitment to Nope. I can see you are cross at your mum lying Marti, let it go. You have strong 'values' that lying is wrong, it's how you set your moral code but it's not a universal truth, isn't evidence-based. So your personal judgement call is lying is wrong, your getting 'pissed' and meanwhile your mum is more than happy that for now, her goal posts have moved. I hate to say it Marti but she might never stop, who knows? I hope for her sake she does but you could build a wall between you if you expect her to conform to your personal values, when they are not yet her own. Stu...sounds like it could be a case of pg 82 your end? Twin gremlins (twin addict thinking)? It is both very frustrating and unhelpful when these thoughts come, a pain in the rear end! Mind you though, when we think they are perfectly normal and to be expected. I was very thrown, many times, by triggers but I can look back now and see I was being unrealistic in my expectations of my mind. You know the drill...don't overreact to the current thoughts, normal, just soft wired removable thoughts that will show their face now and again...only to be expected as you smoked for years. They will be removed very soon.

Ironically I stopped due to cash flow and sadly would say to myself that if I won the lottery I would smoke, absolutely. That was before the 'romancing the cigarette' mental clearout and it is such a wonderful feeling to say none, no circumstances would have me romancing, or actually having a cigarette. The mental freedom has turned out to be even more wonderful than the financial freedom is....priceless really.

Great that you have a plan Evelyn, check in your mind if it's a realistic plan...then full steam ahead... If not, check why and do what you need to do to make it realistic. Hope your session goes well tomorrow xx

Action....there are so many 'Peter Kay' one liners aren't there? Just hilarious....I love the Blackpool Tower show sketch were he does the 'on holiday' things. Just so very true of what folk do....lol If you need it, I'll bring it for you to relive Action ;)

Many happy returns of the day :)

Hope you had a lovely birthday. :)

Congratulations Wiley ;)

I can imagine he is playing himself , in the role...love it..lol Billy Connelly....every Saturday grandad popped his LP on...forgot all about that Doreen, the adults would be creasing themselves. I never got it, too young and busy playing with my dolls. I will you tube him. Action.... ;).....garlic bread!...and cheesecake!, cake. With cheese?!?!?! Enjoy ;)

Me too, you know he got me my first two jobs when I moved darn sarth? My employers were so fascinated with my female Peter Kay accent they gave me the job..both were HUGE fans of him. I think they secretly hoped I knew him..lol Mind Action, I love a bit of Jim Royel...and his 'my arse' too....lol ;)

Hi Amy You seem solid so that's fabulous. I was reading about this yesterday and if you are having thoughts that are not you, that you don't want it is your subconscious chatting (addict as it's known round here) only deals in black or white, no grey. Take control and give you conscious (human) brain an airing. Please don't dwell on the addict voice and give your logic and reason head voice a turn. It is there, I promise....just your addict voice is holding court. It's had an airing so now silence it. Perfectly normal...research the limbic part of the brain..once you understand why, I really think it will help you manage that voice. You're doing fabulous.

I live darn sarth (down South) But come from up North west, were they speak proper... ;) Can't beat a bit of Bolton accent... The man Peter Kay. Will translate if necessary http://youtu.be/E3IARLchOkY

Oh that's terrible news Babs, so sorry to read this.

So glad that you're right back on it. Post, vent (if necessary) and Nope. Completely remove smoking from the table no matter what. Looking forward to seeing you discover your freedom.

So glad you have a plan of action Evelyn. Didn't last a day with my Internet ban, could not stop thinking of you while at work. Just just so very glad that the professionals are there to help and advise you. Xxx

So sorry Evelyn, can't imagine the turmoil your mind must be going through. Good to read that you have an appointment today, I hope it goes well and will be thinking of you. Maybe it might be a good idea to get your mind 'up straight' then deal with stopping smoking? Your therapist will know best on that score. Hope it goes well.

Will do....will wait for you ;) Plus....can check my understanding of it then...