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The calm before the storm?



So I am in kind of a haze, certain things going on personally which make me question a lot of things I thought I knew.

Long story short, if I ever had any excuse (that being the operative word here) it would be now.


However I don't want to, and I certainly don't feel like. 

In fact, I'm almost disappointed since I realize that smoking won't help puff the problem away. There were times when stress at work or home equated to stepping out and lighting up. Absolutely sure that it never resolved the problem, but those 5 minutes were about romanticizing the damn thing.

And right now, I'm in a mode where I'm seeing everything in black and white. No grays. So no escaping stuff, most certainly not with the nico stick in hand.


Strange how life can drag you down, and that's where you recognize or find the hard truths, the kind that stick with you. Sometimes you gotta get dragged through the mud for the dirt to wash off.


Maybe this is an important step in my quit, maybe it's just an indication of things getting better or worse (black or white remember). All I know is I am not going to make plans or guesses, all I know, whatever comes I will fight it head on. 

And I won't fail.

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Very interesting writing.


"Sometimes you gotta get dragged through the mud for the dirt to wash off." Can tottally relate.


In fact that would make a cool tattoo :´´)


Keep writing stuff, you have natural talent i can tell.


Peace. :)

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I found I was much stronger in every aspect of my life ,and it's problems ,once I quit smoking....I face stuff head on with more calmness ....

Not being anxious over the next fix .....let's you face things much better ...head on !!!

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Its like two ships going into a storm on course to collide into each other. If both boats avoid the storm, everything will turn out for the better.


Now when quitting smoking, prepare for some waves and agitation. Quitting smoking is sometimes chaotic. 


Lets look on the white side shall we? Quitting is possible.


Your writing is pretty good, keep at it.


Peace. :)

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We've hid behind that smoke screen so long that it's hard to figure things out as a non-smoker sometimes but we must learn to do that and as we do, we find it's not so bad. Facing things head on is a good thing! Get them over and done with then ..... move on :)  Sometimes, I think maybe that's why I didn't quit sooner? Hiding behind the smoke-screen was much easier.

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3 hours ago, reciprocity said:

Hiding behind the smoke-screen was much easier.


That there just sums it up... it was easier to hide than face things head on.


Ok so I had a few bumps growing up, rough patches within a pretty amazing life.. and I honestly thought I had dealt with all those issues when I quit. But around the 3-6 month mark a lot of issues I thought I had dealt with came back up... my opinion of myself as I was establishing my non-smoking routines was evolving... it was like I had been viewing everything through a haze and suddenly it was clear. Read some of the things I wrote around the 4-5 month mark... I was the same, it was like an identity crisis but I do think its all part of the journey. You aren't going to smoke, but there are aspects of your life that are need to be faced that in the past you probably would have avoided dealing with fully by having a smoke and you are realising that... its a bit of a shock... but you know what its proof you are a sentient being... you are still growing, and evolving and learning and become a better version of you day by day. I am so proud of this post. It is full of hope and it is starting to be full of pride and there is a lightness returning to your perspective. You deserve every happiness and if it means making some changes to reach it then do that sweetie because as someone once told me you are worth it.

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