September 26Sep 26 On her first day at the retirement home the new manager addressed all the seniorshighlighting her most important rule: "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males and, likewise, the male dormitory will be out-of-bounds to the females. Anybody caught breakingthis rule will be fined $20 the first time."She continued. "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60 and, if you're caught a third time it will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this point, an older lady named Kathystood up in the crowd and inquired....."How much is it for a season ticket?"
October 4Oct 4 Although an unexplained phenomenon, there is a place on the outskirts of Mayfield, Nebraska, where the sun does not shine." Edited October 4Oct 4 by Cbdave
October 7Oct 7 Mr four from next door was playing cowboysHe yelled “Yippee ki yay”So I naturally filled in the next bit…..He’s learnt a cool new wordRecon I’m in trouble
October 7Oct 7 My wife was in town and a lady came up and whispered she had a clothing mishap.Odd shoes .....noFly undone ......noTop inside out.....noDress tucked into her undies..NoShe had a t-towel over one shoulder
October 9Oct 9 I was watching TV with my wife.Heard my phone get a message in the kitchenWent to the kitchen to seeA message from my wife“Could you please bring the chips on you way back”
October 9Oct 9 33 minutes ago, Cbdave said:I was watching TV with my wife.Heard my phone get a message in the kitchenWent to the kitchen to seeA message from my wife“Could you please bring the chips on you way back”I've actually done a similar thing. When the wife is downstairs watching a TV program and I'm upstairs I've texted her to ask a question. lol These phones are making me lazy!
October 10Oct 10 My husband did the same thing to me today. I was in the bedroom and he was in the living room and texted me to order pizza....LOL!!🤣
Saturday at 09:27 PM5 days A bloke goes shopping and buys 1 orange a banana 1/2 doz eggs and 2 bread rolls.The girl at the checkout says you must be single.He asks how can you tellShe answers Your very ugly….
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