Fiona, a little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor Paddy and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Paddy asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

Fiona says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Paddy decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh...

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

A woman went to the doctor with a massive stomachache.

 

"Okay, said the doctor, "please lie down on your back so I can examine you.

 

He proceeded to push her stomach with both hands and "BRAAAAP! She let out a huge fart. 

 

"Could you roll to the side, please, said the doctor and she did as requested. 

 

The doctor pressed down again and indeed, another "BRAAAP" burst forth.

 

The doctor then left the room and comes back with a stick with a hook at one end.

 

The woman jumped up and screamed, 

What the hell do you think youre doing with that?

 

 

Relax, said the doctor, "I'm opening the window.

 

 

20 hours ago, Cbdave said:

A woman went to the doctor with a massive stomachache.

 

"Okay, said the doctor, "please lie down on your back so I can examine you.

 

He proceeded to push her stomach with both hands and "BRAAAAP! She let out a huge fart. 

 

"Could you roll to the side, please, said the doctor and she did as requested. 

 

The doctor pressed down again and indeed, another "BRAAAP" burst forth.

 

The doctor then left the room and comes back with a stick with a hook at one end.

 

The woman jumped up and screamed, 

What the hell do you think youre doing with that?

 

 

Relax, said the doctor, "I'm opening the window.

 

 

Cracking up here x

 

Edited September 5, 20232 yr by overcome

5 hours ago, jillar said:

And, just in time for Christmas gift giving