yes and you must wear a fob watch that you wind every few hours and a bow tie.

 

Is it worth googling Gareth Southgate?

Not unless you want to know which player cost England a place in the European Championship final of 1996

 

Do players ever get forgiven for those kind of misses?

Edited July 9, 20188 yr by Sslip

Not in this group apparently

 

Why does tomorrow never come?

Edited July 10, 20188 yr by jillar

Unfortunately Tomorrow is temporarily suffering erectile dysfunction and has no access to viagra (other medication is available, please consult your pharmacist with regards suitability) 

 

If I go for a posh afternoon tea should I insist the hosts bring on the China? 

Um why wouldn't it be on the china? Although sterling is acceptable for the tiffen.

 

Why is High Tea so special?

Edited July 10, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

cos most people cant reach it.

 

tea bags or loose tea ?

 

 

 

 

Unless you like tea in your teeth then tea bags are the way to go

 

What day are you suppose to use those lucky numbers on the back of your fortune cookie fortune?

Edited July 10, 20188 yr by jillar

On the lucky day.

 

Why do our chinese shops give you chocolates and the American ones give you cookies?

Ah so the land of Oz is not the ultimate paradise you would have us believe. Sod your quality of life and your weather, we get the fortune cookies

 

Have I found the first good reason not to emigrate?

I'm sorry Shane but no you have not. The first reason not to immigrate to Australia is all the things that want to kill you and or eat you over there.

 

Will I see you when I get glasses?

 

 

It depends if they are beer, shot or wine glasses.

 

How do I not laugh at a 40kg, 12mth old puppy having a temper tantrum because the other dog is in its spot?

You HAVE to laugh. All males are the same no matter the species...

 

Can a guy named Nick have a "nick" name?

 

 

Depends if he is cunning enough to get away with stealing one. 

 

Why do I want to bite everyone's head off today? 

Because biting everyone's ass off would leave a bad taste in your mouth

 

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

Someone's stolen the light from the freezer? 

 

When was the last cold day in hell? 

August 22, 2012

 

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

You can but would you want it to be your house he is incarcerated in? 

 

Are there any homeless Eskimos? 

Only when the snow melts

 

Is it true that once you let go it's gone?

if it loves you it will come back.

 

why do rainy days get you down?

Because I'm a carpenter.

 

Would you believe it?

Who's it?

 

Why can't all animals fart rainbows like unicorns do?

Don't know about anyone else but I do. But then again I guess I am kind of magical.

 

Is there any real difference between indigo and violet, they're both just Fluffy colours aren't they?

Um... indigo has a higher proportion of blue and a higher wave length and violet has a higher proportion of red but a lower wave length... and they frickin look different, kind of like brown and orange loom different.

 

Why do we say someone has tickets on themselves?

We don't

 

If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?

A:  Aside from humans (that speak), apes

 

Q: why do rich people that don't do anything get the most of everything?