Cos you you need to fill your pockets with rocks so you don't float away.

 

If you green out do you really turn green?

 

 

Edited March 29, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

Well when I pooped out green apple gum it was green and brown striped so I'm going with yes.

 

Liar, liar pants on fire. How bad were the burns?

I've told some whoppers, so pretty bad, on the plus side I can cancel that back, sack and crack now.

 

What's the story morning glory?

 Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. The end

 

If I offer to give someone a hand do I chop it off or do they?

Don't you just start clapping if they say yes?

 

Panettone, bread or cake?

Edited March 29, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

Who gives a shit, just give me another slice.

 

Who starts a campfire?

The one with the lighter

 

Why do owls go who who instead of what what?

Edited March 29, 20188 yr by jillar

Twit, twit twoo.

 

Why are owls considered so wise?

Cos they always seem to be lookin down on us.

 

Would you drink hot cross bun tea?

Edited March 29, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo
F u auto correct

Is that made with the little rabbit droppings in it?

 

Anyone else wanting a hot cross bun now?

Can I have mine minus the flies?

 

Is T2an Aussie shop or do you have T2 too?

You lulled me into not giving a stupid answer and not asking a stupid question just by referencing tea?

 

How British am I?

Edited March 29, 20188 yr by Sslip
T2 caught me out

I reakon when you get cut ya bleed red, white an blue. 

 

Is it bad that I don't stand for god save the queen?

It's not as good an anthem as Waltzing Matilda is it?

 

What does sticking a banana in the tailpipe actually do?

 

 

To Give Eddy Murphy some easy laughs.

 

Why do 'orstrayuns all eat ostriches'?

Edited March 29, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

Because they're all deaf

 

How do Ostriches taste?

I dunno when I was a kid I thought we all ate Joyce. Which was really confusing when she was the tuck shop lady.

 

Would the Brits give a rats ar5e if we got rid if the union jack in our flag?

Nope its up to you guys but think of the tax rises to replace all them old flags coins stamps notes etc.

 

What is a whatnot ?

 

 

The twin of a whatis

 

Why can't I ever find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

You can, you just need to approach it in a stealthy manner. Practise makes perfect.

 

When will I get the call to join the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

It may have already came but you missed it. If you are still on dial-up, they probably got a busy signal.

 

Does anyone here ever wish they got even MORE junk mail in the mailbox? Like maybe more of those united obama insurance things or like my room mate got where she would get a free tree if she attended a seminar?

 

Yes

 

How come gray hair looks distinguished on men but just old on ladies?

Fashionable on everyone now, will you be giving it a shot?

 

Is it safe to fly to the moon and play among the stars?

The short answer is no (I would love to give gray a shot but I just rescued my roots today lol)

 

Why do telemarketers always call at dinner time?

They never bloody stop calling, it's just sometimes it will be dinner time.

 

Is telemarketing the most soul destroying of jobs?