Weegie, because they are TOO SEXY to the point of being indecent, like wearing lingerie in public. Walmart might allow it though.

 

So, I hate people in general. It is weird that I sometimes feel that people in solitary confinement are lucky to not have to deal with humans?

 

7 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

Don't you just hate people who can't read body language and despite the obvious fvck off signals wanna have a  chat?

 

I could write a book about this, being how i generally hate people. But here are some key points -

The better looking you are, the more they want to chat. If you go out looking your frumpiest, people will probably leave you alone.

But yes, some are clueless. They do not pick up on body language. If you do not specifically tell them to fcuk off and die, they will try to chat.

For you no it's not weird at all. Maybe you should look into that

 

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it turns "on"?

 

 

 

cocks tend to do that

oops misread your question clocks sorry.

 

why do women keep telling me to fvck off and die when I say hello to them

I think its that weird grin you always have on your face

 

If you mated a bulldog and a shitzu would it be called a bullshit?

No it would be called a crime    I mean ffs why? It's even uglier than our dog.

 

Why do I have to lose an hour this weekend?

So I can get one next weekend, but it wont really work cis its frickin Easter morning and the lid will be up at sparrows fart any who so wots the frickin point? Sorry, made it all about me again... Original question... Sleeps over rated and government wants your curtains to fade.

 

Why does a cuppa tea help in a crisis?

It's the tannins. It's also why it helps if you get shit faced on red wine.

 

How can there be more snow on the way?

Cos the stupid American roddent looked at its oen frickin shadow?

 

Aussies have golden wattle, POM's have roses, Welsh have daffodils... Why do the Scotts get a spikey weed?

Lack of a flower at the moment they were picking. My guess it was probably winter.

 

How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

Did I not write the same thing a few pages back?

 

Why am I such a cluzt?

Sslip, your very name implies clutz. No one knows WHY just that it may be fact.

 

NOW -

How come when we are at a new acquaintance's house, sitting on the toilet, TRYING to be discrete, why is it then that a super loud fart sneaks out?

Murphies law

 

Why is it rude to point?

Edited March 25, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

4 minutes ago, Jetblack said:

Sslip, your very name implies clutz. No one knows WHY just that it may be fact.

 

NOW -

How come when we are at a new acquaintance's house, sitting on the toilet, TRYING to be discrete, why is it then that a super loud fart sneaks out?

 

Our bodies getting their own back for our years of abuse.

 

3 minutes ago, notsmokinjo said:

Are shies on the wrong feet?

 

Why is it rude to point?

 

Sometimes its bad manners not to

 

I love to love, why does my baby just love to dance?

Edited March 25, 20188 yr by Sslip

3 minutes ago, notsmokinjo said:

Murphies law

 

Why is it rude to point?

 

At some point they decided that pointing was a way to draw attention to a screw-upper.

 

Since it is rude to point, should we make a point to NOT point? would that be rude or polite?

A lack of descent foreplay.

 

Does a train go clickety clack?

I think it's already been established that a train goes chuga chuga choo chooooo

 

Why is it called a building if it's already built?

Because when we refer to it as an erection we get sniggering at the back of the class

 

If I'm waiting at home for the present, what gift am I likely to receive?

Santa is the one who knows what gift you will receive so you should probably be a good boy if you want a nice one.

 

Why do I watch cooking shows when I hate to cook?

 

Because your hoping for wonka vision.

 

Why us my bus never on time?

Time is a structure designed to enslave us to conformity and your bus is a free spirit.

 

Either that or the driver was finishing his coffee.

 

WTF?

My sentiments exactly

 

If someone spins fast enough will they drill into the ground?

Yes that's why winklepickers went out fashion after the Isle of Wight music festival disaster of 1970, when 13 bands were lost in that manner.

 

18 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

A lack of descent foreplay.

 

Does a train go clickety clack?

 

When you spoke of descent foreplay, did you mean going down?

Edited March 25, 20188 yr by Sslip
Changed the question

There's no point asking me I'd rather give than receive, didn't we establish that in 2:1.

 

Do POM's ever let anything go?

 

 

They let farts go

 

Why is my dog and cat staring at me?

Because you demonstrated your previous answer

 

do your pets think you're deranged when you laugh at your kindle?