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Best jokes??

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in Socializing

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Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?

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    • Pippa
      Pippa

      A guy goes to the doctor - I have a steering wheel in my underpants   Doctor replies - it must be driving ya nuts !!

    • Paul723
      Paul723

      I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

    • Paul723
      Paul723

      You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.

    I can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore.

     

    Definitely time for a new keyboard.

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    Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

     

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    I hate people that say, "He's a nice person once you get to know him." They might as well just say, "He's a dickhead, but you'll get used to it."

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    For real -

     

    I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.

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    A book just fell on my head.

    I've only got my shelf to blame...

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    I think I might stop now...lol

     

    Hoping we have helped ;)

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    My stomach hurts from laughing...should not have read this at work....

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    What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    .... Outlaws are actually wanted.

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    An agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

     

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    What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    .... Outlaws are actually wanted.

    ROFLMAO!!!

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    Read this one earlier today and thought it was pretty funny:

     

    Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    He's never gonna give you Up.

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