Out pops a cardio activity chart that couples heartrate with.... common activities prohibited post op.

 

I cram the heart healthy meal from Nutrition into the coke machine like a scene outta Rollerball.

And the Coke machine gives it right back...

 

I insert a bowling ball.

You get strike another gutter ball!!

 

I insert a bent spoon.

And you get Comrade Simba's oatmeal.

 

I insert some brown sugar that is as hard as a rock and a kitchen mallet to break it up with

You get some maple syrup as a substitute.

 

I insert a skunk.

And after almost a month in the coke machine it smells better than it did when it went in!

 

I put in another skunk for "company".

You get a baby skunk.

 

I insert a glass eye.

and you see things you probably shouldn't see but, you cannot look away.

 

I insert a confessional 

And all Father Comrade has to say is "been there done that"...

 

insert a couple of cups of coffee just to keep from falling asleep

You get the jitters. 

 

I insert every thought running around in my head

And the jitters now seem peaceful by comparison.

 

I insert a cloudy morning.

and pressure drop, pressure drop,  pressure gonna drop on you

 

I insert the Skatalites under a coconut palm

You get an all expenses paid trip to Jamaica.

 

I insert a bowling ball.

and you receive a reprimand

 

I insert the sweetness of innocence

And you get the guile of experience.

 

I insert a new book

and you have much ado about nothing.

 

I insert three skeleton keys

out pops a three lock box.

 

I insert limes.

and you get Bacardi, ice and (apparently a first for this Coke machine) Coke to make a Cuba Libra, one comrades' favorite drinks.

 

I insert red grapes

wine... you get wine. 

 

I insert some yarn and needles

and you get perfectly perled kilometers of spider webs

 

I insert seven nights of perfect REM sleep

You get what dreams are made of.

 

I insert a cheeseburger with pepper jack cheese and mayo.

and you get three weeks of the Tofu Blues

 

 

I insert a pair of Hip Boots

You get a Go Go dancer in a cage

 

I insert a ball of yarn and a cat. 

You get an expensive trip to the vet..

 

I insert crappy, rainy, raw weather.

You get rain boots and an umbrella 

 

I enter pumpkins :D