May 1, 20197 yr 1 hour ago, efficacy said: What did I learn? Smoking doesn't help, the stress is still there. Not only does smoking not help with stress, addiction and withdrawal compound stress. Smoking does not offer you one positive thing. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
May 2, 20197 yr Author Thank you everyone, it was scary to justify continuing smoking...that's why I posted my relapse even though I wanted to run and hide in shame. I will post before next time. There is no justification in smoking for any reason...you all have have shown it can be done... As I was going through my notebooks, I found this quote that Whispers posted on another thread that is helping me at the moment... "You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." CS Lewis
May 2, 20197 yr Shame over relapsing, although completely understandable, provides NO positive benefit. Put that aside as quickly as possible and double down on your commitment to quit for good. Learn from whatever happened and expect it to happen again so you can get past it successfully next time. As long as you learn something about yourself and your addiction from a relapse and jump right back into quitting then you are making progress. Remember; this is not a race to the finish it's a journey and as long as you get there eventually then it's worth your while and all the struggle you might face.
May 2, 20197 yr P is right .....as long as you learned from this ....smoking offers you nothing ....it's unravelling all the Lies and Myths ,we were lead to believe... Stay close ....
May 2, 20197 yr So pleased you didn't disappear. Relapse sucks and it's easy to go down the black hole and just wallow in self pity while chain smoking. You didn't do that so you should be proud of yourself. I love Reci's post above ^^^
May 3, 20197 yr On 5/1/2019 at 5:51 PM, efficacy said: Day 1 again. Frustrated and a little angry with myself. I LET outside stress poke a hole in my isolated bubble of a quit Tuesday evening. I rationalized and justified to myself afterwards why I didn't reach out or post a SOS. I had enough time to contact the neighbor and bum a couple of cigarettes off her so in those few minutes could have posted here. Of course smoking only made the anxiety worse. Doreensfree is so right is her post that a "relapse is serious..." I'm an addict who relapsed & I recognize how serious this is. Nosmokinjo said in that same post to answer 3 questions when you fail....1. When will I quit again? Now, already threw out the rest of the cigarettes. 2. What were the triggers? Unexpected stress & addict thinking that believing a cigarette will help. 3. What did I learn? Smoking doesn't help, the stress is still there. I need to "be forever vigilant" as reciprocity says in the same post. I need to expect the unexpected, this is life after all. I also have to reach out and ask for help. You all would have been all over my distress with support like ants at a summer picnic. That's why I joined last week in the first place! I'm sorry I didn't give you that chance. OK, I need to fix dinner then will go to bed early tonight so may not be on much tonight. But I will be back by morning at the latest. Glad to hear that you quit again efficacy. I think the most important thing is to never give up quitting.
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