Working my way through a craving.  HALTed, then stumbled on a post Paul bumped yesterday about dopamine-inducing rewards. I'm about to go to the grocery store for just such a reward.

I was debating cleaning the apartment 

vs reading a book I just checked out from the library entitled, "Getting Things Done," (David Allen)

vs watching an episode of Criminal Minds on Netflix

vs washing the inside of my car windshield

vs cleaning up the garden from dead summer flowers.

 

A light clicked on as I realized that indecision causes me to want to smoke,. It's a big trigger. BIG trigger. So I guess the take home message from this is that while I am doing one task, always have the next thing I want to do in my mind. Then I will not have so many pauses of indecision where I want to smoke while I am waffling about.

 

Speaking of which, waffles with butter and maple syrup would  spur the release of dopamine. And then I don't have to go to the store and elbow my way through crowds of Christmas shoppers.

Pancakes would also be good. 

But I'd really like to see what the pastry selection looks like today. Apple fritters would be good. With coffee. But then I wouldn't sleep well tonight--the caffeine. 

Actually, I should really be out walking the dog. This is Seattle and it rains a lot, today is no exception. But there is a break in the rain at the moment.

But the dog is asleep and won't want to go out in the cold. 

And there are pastries with my name at the bakery counter.

 

(You see how easy it is to be indecisive?!)

I used smoking to avoid doing things I didn't want to do or just to put off those things I had no real interest in doing. Then again, I also used smoking after I did things to reward myself so it was a bit of a puzzle because I was smoking at both ends of tasks. Took a while to sort through all that stuff and become normalized again.

I love what you are doing -- you are beginning to sense the triggers (big ones at first, then the smaller "uh-oh" ones.  Believe it or not you are moving in the right direction.  Soon those big triggers won't be so harsh and you can breeze thru them.  Good pick-up for you, moving in the right direction now!!!

You're doing great Kate and any of those treats sound good to me

I'm not sure the distinction matters that much, but I'd argue that your indecision is as much an effect of recovery as a cause of a craving.  I was extraordinarily indecisive and unfocused for quite some time in the early stages of my quit, and it would be wise to anticipate and plan for such symptoms moving forward.  Don't feel like there's anything wrong with the quit if these experiences persist--they're frustrating for sure, but not at all atypical.  Time is your friend in this process.  

 

Christian99

17 Years Quit

2 hours ago, Christian99 said:

I'm not sure the distinction matters that much, but I'd argue that your indecision is as much an effect of recovery as a cause of a craving.  I was extraordinarily indecisive and unfocused for quite some time in the early stages of my quit, and it would be wise to anticipate and plan for such symptoms moving forward.  Don't feel like there's anything wrong with the quit if these experiences persist--they're frustrating for sure, but not at all atypical.  Time is your friend in this process.  

 

Christian99

17 Years Quit

Thank you very much for the insight, Christian. I hadn't thought of that. It's helpful to know that this may be recurring for a while, at least. 

When I felt indecisive, I'd go outside on my patio for a smoke and think about my options. I felt better, then I'd come in and act on my decision.

I'll work on a substitution thinking-break without the cigarette.  Goodness knows, eating  the ice cream I eventually settled on didn't help with making any decisions. All of my to-do tasks were still undone and the ice cream lost its appeal.

Thanks again; I'll think about this. And practice patience and mindfulness,

Kate- you are still not smoking so you are doing FANTASTIC!  It may help you to think about the comfort that routine has given you. Most smokers love routine, that is why it is so difficult to let go of the cigarettes. So, replace your old routines with new, healthier, happier ones. If they are moving you towards your goal, then they are part of the plan. Stay the course. If you find yourself having so much difficulty with decision, you may want to make a calendar or list for yourself. I.E. on Monday, Wed and Friday you do this etc. Use this as a starting point for reorganizing yourself and then be flexible for the new experiences you will be encountering.

 

The addiction causes you to crave. This is the direct link that supersedes other thoughts or desires. 

The addict wants their jolt of endorphins every half hour or so.

You succeed when you wrench your choice away from nicotine

and begin to really listen to your body and what your body requires.

(as in HALT)

 

Indecision may cause you to crave Kate, but remember this.  You only need to be decisive on one thing.  DO NOT SMOKE.  Bit by bit your brain will become rewired and accept the fact that doing things without a cigarette is natural.  Keep up the good work.  You're doing great. 

Edited December 21, 20187 yr by BKP
typo

Yes! Trust in what others who are quit for years say. It will get easier the longer you just apply NOPE to your daily life. It's not always easy and it doesn't always make sense in terms of how our brains were wired as smokers but the truth is ....... as long as you NOPE each and every day and live by that pledge; you too will be free of this addiction that only takes and gives you nothing good in return.