Evelyn
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Everything posted by Evelyn
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It's early, don not refer something walking dead related ok :P
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Oh, call me an offically fruitloop it's 15 months already WOW
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I counted, sjeesh it really goes fast :wub: 14, love that number... just wanted to say 'hell yeah I got this far, and I'm very proud and glad with it!' :D
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Jo, here, present, just waking up ;)
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That's Beauty a gorgious, healthy bred Russian hamster, color camel and no Camel is NOPE an option as a name whahah. I was supposed to pick her up 1 a[pril, things worked out a little not the way I supposed they would, but this girl is payed and the whlle home / cake is already ready :D. Also not moving back to old town, going to a nicer, more quiet neighborhood :D yup happy again and when I'm able this little furry ball will be loved and cared for (hammie expert :P ) she going to have one wonderfull life and so will I!!!
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Hehe, yes wanted to do something for ME!!! So I did. Call me crazy, a daredevil (oh no there's one already called DD) and but Porky's right after all the frtuitiness :P I 'put one finger in the air and say I don't care'. Does that mean I'm a frootloop too?
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Yeah all fruitcakes there porky and it's one f#cked up mix of craziness
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Ok only one person knew I was away, struggling a major depression; part due last year's waisted energy and obstacles + bad choice of meds that kept me too low, coludn't let it out. I haven't been so deep, since 2013 new years eve. Had 2 admittions in a closed section. i really was a danger to myself, first time got released and knew I was dying inside. The volcano blast when boyfriend started threatening me, almost kicked my door in so I did another attempt. I was again locked up, DID see my pdoc and asked him to take away the particular med.. after rage I'm now relased and located on a safe spot temporarily, intend to move... back to my old town. Last time in the 'ward' wuith the med switch I started craving, cigs, food.. didn't do it all tho there were a few times I really was like *&%% I did once kick the doorside, with my gymshoe, left a print I was REALLY raged. I'm low on caffeine BIG time, no coffee her accept the poder to put water with... I'm calm, did my hair at the kinki hairdresser, and really RATHER be a bit dizzy then so furiously raged. I can hug me ;) again, say lts pick myself up and do fun stuff. I AM worth it. About the ex-bf not feeling heartbroken, just it's no option returning to that home. I'd feel unsafe 24 hours a day. He can blow me one last kiss (Pink) I was too afraid to tell how I was in mud, sucked in depression, so scared you peeps would say... dunno. I am back. bf out the window and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Oh and did I say I didn't puff the previous week. I made it thru, which I REALLY didn't expected anymore. Now anyone thinking they have an excuse to light that fag, knock on my door? Karen? And I post this on purpose in the guest-open forum. People should know, depression all of sorta things aren't worth that puff. Not a break up, no violent (ex) bf Idk no break down, dead closeby... I am proud and I was so ashamed I got knocked down by a depression, like I deserved it and idk if I have to sing the bl**dy unconditionally (again) to myself everyday. I am NOW able to grab on life and strart rebuild. I am not ashamed, you don't need to reply. If you have mental health issues, and 'they keep you from quiting' or they are the excuse to start smoking; start with the basic problem... the mental health. And reach out, try to signal, to someone you trust... ANYONE. I am stronger. And so are you... the one who needs to read this.
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He's a famous soccer / voetbal legend en coach and hell he quit more then 10 years ago, lobbyed against the tabacindustry and announced he suffered from lungcancer, more then a year ago. At leat when I still lived in Voorhout. 10 months ago. The go 'aww and a legend died'. HOLD on lets go back 10 ******* years he quit smoking announced it, lived it, trained his team (so I believe) no the only legend that died today was the one that DID quit those sickmaking fags, told the whole world and died of it anyway. The voetbal, was his profession to me he's a pioneer, a man who made his point, never turned his back on his own rules. I believe and PRAY he will be not (just) remembred as the best coach of the world, for Barcelona... but what lies in every smoker, a quiter. He PREACHED it. I salute this man, peace and if DID have twitter I'd hashtag JohanCruijfflegendbecausehequitsmoking
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They can TRY, to kill us, TRY to scare and dislocate the societies we live in. It's our choice how to respond; with violence, haat and fear... which will make us point to muslims, in the underground who we stare at thinking 'oh he / she might carry a bomb'. But THINK how many muslims are there murdered and slaughtered across the European borders, which we condemn, we send them back 'they are dangerious, ALL OF THEM'. HEY wakey wakey, THEY also fled IS. those morons. Are there morons hiding in the refugees probably does that mean we should 'kill them all' or lock them up without any legal process in Guentanomo Bay? Let's be bigger then that. Will they probably blow things up in the future in the Netherlands.. I don't doubt. You think you're safe? In Germany? UK? Netherlands? Oh no it's only Syria / Irac.. in November it was Paris, now it's Brussels.. and I have no doubt it will get worse, on the most least expected moments. Does Europe need to transform intu a Israel like state? Well Israel is (in my eyes) safer then Europe :) We will cry and shed tears, am not afraid, even knowing this will get worse... every war can end... accept terrorism.. it's a war without rules, boundaries... they fight till the bone break till the West / USA / Europe / Israel is on their knees and guess what? They can bloody fly in the twin towers, or walk in Bataclan.. blow up the Brussels airport.. there's one thing THEY will never get and that is what terrorist separates us from them. We believe in freedom, love, peace, prayer call it whatever you want; democraty. So as long as we stay a free thinkin, democraty - as mostfully possible... they will never get why all those 'evil' free countries still stand and WILL stand because freedom in your head you can't force you can't kick off Saddam Hussain believing they 'understand freedom and democraty... ts a proces.. we're learned from freaking wars, WW, Choose to be free and even if they capture or occupy your country, they can never steal whats in your heart AMEN!
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I will, my guy is working late, (sadly for him he's not having his day) but I saved him (brabanste worstenbroodjes :P ) dinner so for now the Thursday, Friday and Saturdays are my Netflix evenings
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14 and a half month free, you can get there too Trish :)
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Do not beat yourself up, remember the song I linked? You are worth it!!! I believe you can... and I swear it's no cliché but I was able to turn around and that time it was Porky beliving in me... Well guess what we all believe in you, not just me, no judging :) Just a load of expienced hands reaching out to you, ready to grab you and pull you aboard :) I KNOW you want to Trish, you are scared... to fail? To be succesful? Just give us the space to surround you and give you the courage to pic it up girl. You know you can, deep down inside We are not going anywhere, we're here for you when you're ready.
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Lol. I do it right... well what the heck I'm doing I'm in jeanssize 30 (eu) that's nice :D Do you drink enough water Porky?? It's important ;)Anyone familair with? My guy's gonna ride sushi around town tomorrow, Friday and Saturday so THOSE early evenings I'm gonna LOCK the door, put my phone on hold, settle behind the computer and watch... yeahah Misits. I recommandation from BF. The walking dead stuff creeps me out too much, sorry DD no offense LOL and since Dr. Who's been minimissed I need to find a new series... So is this one with potential???Me :P Who's soon no longer part pf the mens cave?This the cheer on topic or Tracey and Rez :wub:Smarti you were one o my examples and I just wanna say be proud girl!!! Really.
