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Steely

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Everything posted by Steely

  1. Steely

    Crashed

    Thanks everyone for all of the good and sometimes funny (not really laughing) advices. What sticks is the notion that smoking did nothing to change the behaviour of my neighbour, nor did it see the return of my hose fittings. I'm a woman Jetblack and this man is a scary dude and is the reason why I haven't confronted him before, ie, "fear of escalating the situation". I'm going to bring my hose fitting inside from now on which will let him know my feelings without resorting to confrontation (he doesn't listen) or worse still, smoking. It gave him the upper hand and I can't have that happen. And he's a smoker, another good reason to quit! I'm back on the train but in the caboose.
  2. Plain old NOPE from me too Wee me. But come to think of it stopping smoking is far from plain.
  3. Well. I crashed out big time. No excuses, I know, but I have the neighbour from hell who, pathetic as it sounds has been stealing my hose fittings from the garden. I have let it go TWICE and have just bought another fitting, but THREE times was too much and when I approached him about it he abused the living hell out of me, I burst into tears and bought a packet of cigarettes which I smoked. I'm a bit scared of him, he's a nutter. Back on the horse. Feel so disappointed in myself.
  4. Thanks guys. Another 'nope' for me today.
  5. Again, my thanks re my health anxiety. I guess as I've been smoker longer than I haven't been a smoker, started at 15 years of age! have a body that is now completely chemically adjusted to the reception of nicotine. Even thought it has BECOME me. It's going to take a long time and wonder whether I am too old to quit? I'm 69 years old. I could be dead by the time I wrap my head around this thing with any real feelings of comfort and acceptance. I ask if its worth it. Going to NOPE thread to commit for another day.
  6. Thanks everyone and have committed myself to the NOPE thread. Feel embarressed to admit but I suffer a bit of health anxiety and wondered whether anyone else has thought they were physically ill rather than it 'just' being withdrawal?
  7. It's stupid. Like STUPID! Gotta know I'm not THAT stupid.
  8. Still learning how to navigate the site and pressed the little heart button to see what it did. Everyone got a trophy, and I gave myself a face like a twisted sand shoe. I'll use it with discretion in future. I made it through yesterday without smoking and trophy for me as when sitting on the bus stop saw an UNSMOKED cigarette under the seat aarrgghh! I was seriously tempted. The dereliction of it all. Am just going to browse the site and look around but wanted to thank everyone in a big blanket THANKS as I'm convinced I would have rationalised having a smoke had I not linked up with you all. Feel stronger about approaching today.
  9. Also thanks for teaching me how to change 'settings'.
  10. Hello everyone and thank you your replies re my recent cave, it really helped me. This is so much more difficult than I ever anticipated even has me believe I am sick rather than 'simply' going through withdrawal. My depression is loathsome. There was a tiny (and I mean tiny) butt left from the three that I smoked and even reduced myself to sucking in what was probably mostly filter in my search for tobacco. I so hate the tobacco companies they have designed these things to keep people in chains. But, as Karl Marx said, "......you have nothing to lose but your chains." Apologies to Karl, but think he did smoke so wouldn't mind me bending his most famous quote. Won't be having any today....with today being the only place I can be.
  11. I'm replying to myself. How do I change my display name?
  12. I have only just joined and unfamiliar with posting. I had not had a cigarette since 17th September 2017 but today have smoked three. I am feeling so absolutely depressed and anxious and caved in. I don't want to smoke. Help.

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