bakon

watching- ginger and ava for clues reading- the same two for clues

me and you are bumper cars....the more I try to get to you the more we crash apart...

devilwoman would be suspect equal to ginger,,,,so I got to stick with ginger first....ava second

little do you know....you are both breaking my heart... I love you till the sun dies

not sure now----ava not care about sticks game....but framing ginger??? but why would she choose two performers she likes??? or is ginger shifting blame??? ava didn't visit my page today but ginger did? why??? I am sticking with ginger as main suspect but ava is not off the hook yet.....

AVA is suspect now too......

I remember that skirt....on the floor

me and you on stage?

I am columbo...the latest visiter to my profile is an easy way....

Ginger remove the box shitter from my signature

-9 post again and its a cheat win for the stciks

-9 till cat is gone game is on hold

-9

-11 go rest in bed away fom comuter

searched and right so I am next be sleeping most day tomorrow so easy one to keep moving..... who is steals likes?

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you will see our new DANCER in the previous post. Also Youngster hit 10 months the other day. Relapse is very real.

#121 bakon Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:59 AM 75- Went to motorcycle club meetings last two nights. Worried about these when I started quit. Didnt phase me one bit now. Kind of breezing though now. Got gainsey as the same quit date too, along with youngster. So more eyes watching I dont fail. Not that I want any smokes, but would hate to reset counter and admit it to anyone here. Never met anyone here, but wouldnt want to disappoint either. No worry of that right now. Christmas smells are popping up. Cant remember last time I smelled a holiday. #122 BAH Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:02 PM Funny how we build something to be so big in our minds and turns out to be nothing. I am watching you too #123 bakonPosted 12 December 2012 - 10:18 AM 80- four days off, no problems. Have to watch I dont become anti smoker, not just a non smoker. Had Christmas party at a Firehouse. Usually guys smoke in garage but tables were set up in there. Smokers were going outside until...they decided to hide in a corner of the garage. Started to smell it and went looking...well did say something to a pair of them about taking it outside. Didnt work but before I took it further I realized it really wasnt up to me. No rules or signs or anything. Plus leadership all smokes so only could rely on their sense of not smoking around the kids. My wife couldnt smell it so maybe I am overly sensitive to odor. Anyways I dont want to be the enforcer of not smoking. Just want to be a non-smoker. Never liked the guy who preached because he quit. #124 bakon Posted 14 December 2012 - 10:37 AM 82 1600+ smokes. Ok today. Just a copy of a post with someone struggling after 20 days. I remember that time of good and bad days. When your not sure you want to stay quit due to not knowing how to live without the habit and the roller coaster of mind games... Sounds like your body readjusting to not having so many chemicals in it . Enjoy the pain, it's healing your feeling. Body and mind will take some time but it will end all the sudden. One day soon you won't think smoking is the cause of anything You will be past it. It's too easy to blame withdraw for everything. It's not withdraw, it's getting better. Years of smoking and everyone wants three days to be the only struggle. It takes more than that. #125 youngster513 Posted 14 December 2012 - 03:12 PM Doing great bakon! I'm doing good as well! #126 bakon Posted 15 December 2012 - 10:35 AM Gainsey still around too. Saw him post the other day. Good job #127 bakon Posted 25 December 2012 - 11:13 AM Three Montrhs. Christmas Day. No urges in forever. No problems. Little weight gain but nothing to worry about. Merry Christmas. # 128 dancer_I Posted 25 December 2012 - 04:01 PM bakon said Very cool Akron. #129 bakonPosted 03 January 2013 - 02:17 PM 3 months 10 days, but the important one over 2000 smokes avoided. 100 packs. 10 cartons. Thats alot of smoke. #130 JTPhilly Posted 03 January 2013 - 05:36 PM amazing how fast those little suckers add up huh? Doing great Bakon! #131 youngster513 03 January 2013 - 10:59 PM Doing good bakon! #132 bakonPosted 07 February 2013 - 06:20 AM 137 days (roughly) 4 months 11 days. Motorcycle club meetings again. No problem. Had to shower when I got home to get smell off of others smoking. The smell is not as repulsive as the first month but I do try to avoid it. Newbies: at 4 months I feel a gazillion times better. Smoking is just about never a thought. All activites seem normal without it. Dont miss it one bit. Seems longer than only 137 days. 4+ Months make it sound longer, but back at day 2 is easy to remember. The struggle of every minute, every hour, thoughts of how can I make it even a week. It was minute by minute at times and nothing like today. It is really easy now. Its nice to know NOPE..NOT ONE PUFF EVER works. I never took a puff and I made it. No relapse or fighting it again and again. and I havent had one puff since my first post and going for a sandwich reward after making it one hour without smoking. #133 sintahbean Posted 07 February 2013 - 08:08 AM Have loved reading this, thank you! Mary #134 youngster513 Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:28 PM Looking good Bakon! t #135 Cristobal Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:45 PM bakon said Bakon I am very happy you are posting this. There are many Newbies here from january, they need to know this. All of this is true, but when your quit is new it is impossible to see this. Cristóbal #136 bakonPosted 08 February 2013 - 01:15 AM Youngster and Gainesy quit same time. They know the same thing Cristobal is saying. It doesnt take long to feel normal. At the beginning it feels like Army basic training. Your never going to make it. It hell and cant picture it being complete or over. Like climbing a mountain. I used to post "keep marching". It's a reference to an uphill battle or all the marching and hiking they put you through. Comparing the struggle of marching and quiting the shiitsticks. Put your head down and look at your feet if you need to, but keep moving foward. "Carry on" was a saying. A battle hyme of survival. Just keep marching and footstep by footstep the end gets closer. What's the end? Never an end, just the end of struggling. Longer for some. The march never really ends, but you crest the mountain and its downhill from there. Feet fall in front of each other, just got to lift them off the ground and let gravity pull them forward. Then you get in shape and you can go further and further. Walking/no smoking gets easier. Everyday/ every step is lighter. Maybe, eventually, the day comes when you fart rainbows and sing in the rain. Who knows? Just dont get all wrapped up in how hard it is. Enjoy the struggle because when its all behind you... the war stories come out and basic training was some of the best days of your life, because you completed it and moved on to better places. You will say it was hard at the time but not that bad. It was that bad then, but it is so much better now the sting is gone. Like This #138 RedSkirt Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:32 PM bakon said So happy for you bakon!!!! I remember when you first came on the board. My quit feels remarkably similar to yours. Around the 4 month mark, I really no longer even thought about cigs. I, too, adherred to the NOPE philosophy. I took the option off the table completely and it somehow worked for me without too much stress. I cannot imagine ever smoking--or wanting to smoke--agin. And I feel ah-mazing!!!! Attitude is everything. Keep up the great work you are doing in taking care of your health and yourself. You deserve to be very proud. #139 bakon Posted 24 February 2013 - 06:42 PM 5 months over 3000 smokes avoided. No problems, no urges, occasionally think "I used to smoke doing this." But no desire to light a turd. Smell of them is not offensive as before. But I dont like it. Avoid it. Some places still allow it, and when I do go those situations call for a shower when I get home. Went and watched some racing on Thursday, never drink in afternoon but was off and group of guys were going. Felt like I was missing it for about 20 seconds. Then someone says "You quit for a while now. How do you stand the smell?" This guy was a smoker. I know he is ready to start the trip to where I now am. For the newbies and those struggling...its gets easier. 99 percent of the time I dont think about it. If I stayed away from group it would be less. The urges and wanting fades.It fades expodentially. Longer away, better I feel about it. Was big and long part of my life so still comes up here and there, just very easy to handle. NOPE carried me when the group wasnt pushing me foward. Never want to reset that counter. Keep marching through, it turns out to be nicer with each step. #140 EmmaBunny Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:47 PM Thank you for that encouragement, bakon, and congratulations to you.

#101 bakonPea Brain Posted 08 November 2012 - 02:00 AM 45- Had motorcycle club meetings the last two nights at bars. Couldnt drink, I am working the night shift this week. One bar is smoke free, had some people standing outside at door getting last one in before meeting. Getting cold out so they are huddled in the smoker circle or hunched single style getting the puffs in quick and quiet to return to the main crowd inside with their fresh crapbreath and ashtray perfume. (Sorry but still hate smell) This is the larger HOG chapter meeting with really the only requirement to join is owning a Harley. Ok group, some eating and drinking. Guy uses a microphone to run meeting so its only intimate with who you sit with. Had no thoughts of smoking. Usually puffed away with the other guys outside and couldnt wait to get meeting over to have another and talk bikes. Other club is smaller, meetings in private room. We can smoke and lay it all out without others around. Usually others in bar at same time and they can smoke in same room when not in use. Stunk. Convinced group to stay out in main area for as long as possible.We ate and bullshtted. Covered club business and before I knew it we were done without ever moving to the smoke room. Did miss having a beer with the guys, but that happens alot with the work routine. Glad I wasnt around smoke at both places, dont want it, or need it, dont desire it, dont even think about it, NOPE. #102 BAHPosted 08 November 2012 - 10:54 AM Quote AWESOME! #103youngster513yo Bakon, how you doing? #104 bakon Posted 14 November 2012 - 09:06 AM 51-52 days Thanks for asking.Glad to see your still here too. I haven't posted every day because my quit is kind of boring. No problems and such. Doing fine. I watched Steeler game in smokey club the other night. Wanted one until the place got too smokey. Knew I would blow the whole quit with one puff. Not really tough though, just a thought, not an urge like I needed it, or skin crawling. I could taste it in the air some and the smell was awful so I knew it would lead to a s**t smear down my tongue and regret for the burn in my throat. Then watching smokers was a weird scene.. White stick hanging out of mouth, pack and lighter with their drinks, money and ashtray in front of them. Cell phone too. Like they need a desk to lay out all the supplies they need to watch the game. Sip of beer, toke the smoke, blow it out the side cuz dont want to blow it in anyones face, sit it down and let it burn in ashtray for a few seconds, smoke drifting right at group but they arent holding it so not their fault, sip beer, toke smoke, repeat.... Then I was talking to someone who is usually pretty nice, she dont smoke but her husband is club manager and smokes. We quit a few years back around same time. Both made about 2-3 weeks on Chantix and both went back to smoking. Not blaming chantix. Dont think either of us really tried. I couldnt wait to get off it and used it for reason my quit didnt work. Anyways I tell her I quit and she says "Again" . It was like an insult with the tone. Like I was wasting the time and effort. Which is cool with me. My ex said to me one time "again" and I went two years without firing up just to prove to the b!tch she was wrong. Now I dont think she meant to be a bitch but....I will use this to help fortify my resolve. #105 BAH Yeah, it's very intimidating to smokers that you are quit. You are doing what they think about every day and yet they can not hear and are scared to take that leap. I LOVE boring! Means no BS in my world Nice to hear from you #106 bakon Posted 16 November 2012 - 10:36 AM 53- Going well. Posting some on other threads. Like I know what I am talking about..... Been hitting gym and walking dogs. Sore, every part of me. Been going to gym on and off whole life, go a year, skip a year or two, repeat,...kind of gave up on cardio stuff, mostly weights, dont get out of breath with them when I was smoking...so now I dont smoke and its weights plus treadmill or walk the dogs when I get home. Weather sets course, rain and the dogs stay in. Have not hit gym hard since April when I had a home improvement accident get me a handful of stiches and two weeks off work. Then vacations hit.... so now I got no yardwork, motorcycle tucked away for winter nap (once a month ride all year for me but riding season is over) home improvements done, no more trips planned.....out of excuses so into the gym. And a new gym, with new equipment, and heat. Old gym was awesome to me, large, dark, cold, like the original Rocky movie. One everyone avoids now a day. Best part equipment was so bad and broken the treadmill would just stop after 5 minutes. Stop dead..oh well guess I am done.Well it closed. New gym is bright, wife likes it better, has heat so people are showing off their butts and bicepts. Just trying to find a groove and the right equipment. They got machines for everything. Some free weights, but tight back in that corner, only room for a few. SO I am done for today, even fingers are sore. #107 monojo Keep it up, bakon- you're doing such a wonderful job! Isn't it great to realize how much better life is as a non smoker? #108 frezlis Posted 17 November 2012 - 02:41 AM Way to go keep on keeping on. I hate working but do it daily I have a treadmill at home. I do that and yoga plus I have hand weights that I work with. You will get more energy now without smoking and working out. one cigarette away from smoking full time...how do you avoid that? Never smoke again that's how!!!!! #109 bakon 17 November 2012 - 09:56 AM 54- Went for wings and beer last night at Buffalo Wild Wings. Taste was great- ate HOT, which only 2 levels above and maybe 10 below. Burn was nice but the payback burn out the rear today wasnt. Beer was good- 3 tall Sam Adams seasonal Winter Lager....didnt think of a smoke at all. Not once. Walked out to go home and there is a huddle of 7 smokers near door. Must have been all part of same group because it was an unusually tight huddle, like a football one (not that English soccer football, American football type huddle where they pick a play) Looked stupid. Realized I drank and ate, not one thought of a smoke, until I saw my old spot outside where I used to huddle against the cold. Laughed to myself and walked by. #110 bakon Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:06 PM 8 weeks. 56 days and over 1100 avoided. Pretty cool. Marching on. youngster513 Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:20 PM Way to go Bakon, this is great how you keep this diary of your journey. You will look back on this in the future as a great memory! KTQ bud! #113 bakon Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:54 PM 60 Today is Thanksgiving. Was easy and food tasted great. Yesterday was easy until I had a few beers...Then my friends were firing up. Hit me hard out of the blue. Normally I smell smoke when out and hate it. Not then, could taste it and I had to struggle a little to keep from bumming one. Told buddy that one puff would equal a pack to me. Then another pack today. Made it through but suprized the draw it had. No thoughts today and so glad that burning turd never touched my lips. Have to be careful around the beer and others who smoke, still not a cement fixture. #114 bakonPosted 25 November 2012 - 10:16 PM 64- Couple of posts I made somewhere else .... Thoughts on relapse...I have lost year long quits. Two year quit once. Why, because i wanted to smoke and be part of all that went along with it. Didnt want to stay free of it. That simple. When you quit smoking there is a change in mind and body, which is more enjoyable the longer the quit. I left my quit behind because my crowd of friends looked like their smoking was better. So I joined them. Was it better.... your all from the nicotine train...you know what I was chasing. What things look like and what they really are is usually different once both feet have jumped in. It was not. Will you relaspe... only if you want to. That simple. Urges/Craves...Every urge you beat, you get stronger. The next urge is weaker. The mind grows to realize it cannot make you react to an urge. So again stronger for you, weaker for next urge. This continues until the urge is a thought. Thoughts are weaker still and the body makes no action. This goes until there is only occasional thoughts, then no thought. I am only at 2 months, and no thought of smoking unless I choose to think about it. Sure I smell it now and then, but it gives me nothing. No response. #115 Jude59 Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:21 PM You're doing a fantastic job. #116 bakon Posted 01 December 2012 - 01:49 AM 70- no problems #117 christine1960Bakon, I love your updates. I am so glad you are continuing to do well in your quit. #118 bakon Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:18 AM 72- Not one thought today. Steelers beat Ravens too! Post made elsewhere: Seeing smokers and being bothered during early quit....Soon you will see smokers different. They are not getting to smoke. They have to or they feel bad. Soon they will look silly. Or perhaps you will feel sorry for them. Too bad there isnt a magic shot to get off the nicoteen. Whoever invents that will be a gazillionaire. Dont know anyone who would not quit if there was no pain. One shot, your done, no pain, no moods, no stink. I gotta go down in the garage and get to work on that. On getting nonsmoker husband involved with early quit...You need to share some thoughts with your husband. Most of us are pretty dumb with the feeling stuff, so guidence is needed. And usually while a man listens he is thinking "What do I say to help, how do I help,..." Men dont usually just listen and go "OK" we arent programmed that way. We are fixers, not listeners. So figure out how to say it. "Hey I'm not asking for help, but this smoking thing got me messed up,....or I know you dont smoke but this stuff is hard, my skin is crawling can we go...to help get my mind off it" Give us husbands a chance to screw up. But point out your just venting, not looking for answers.Its too easy for us to say "Just suck it up and dont smoke" because they dont know how to fix it and are frustrated. Dont frustrate an idiot, help them help you. #119 TimidTulip Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:16 AM HI Bakon, great to see the latest update. Very happy for you that you are marching on with your quit! I noticed smokers outside a pub yesterday, they looked frozen. And pathetic. I had a little chuckle to myself as a walked on by into the dry and warm, happy and content that I never have to interrupt my evening to go and get rained on and frozen stiff, just to get nicotine. (I love that husbands try to fix everything, it's so sweet. If not always successful ) #120 youngster513Posted 04 December 2012 - 01:17 AM Good job Bakon!

we weren't here then, I was getting a point added once a week, then it would be removed....... me and ???? you?????nancy????babs?????petra???? ava????to many to list for some reason I think petra

one week is big deal. do you got a reward picked out? important to reward yourself for the hard work...

me and jen

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don't confess to cheating...we all know already

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