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ding!

How true, and thus how sad. Of course, irl he was suffering from advanced copd. Not very logical.. must have been his human side.

There, I fixed that for you. Sure! I think it sounds ridiculous. Not nearly as ridiculous as slowly killing yourself by obsessively sucking on stinky burning leaves, of course. And I actually think it helps to do ridiculous things when quitting, to reinforce to your subconscious how ridiculous smoking was. I often sang deliberately out of key, or had little micro rants (generally when out of earshot), or even mime smoked an air cigarette. And you're still quit and here you are, so I think that ridiculous thing you did was awesome.

You often say smart things, but I think you need to stop and reflect on how absolutely true this is. And how lucky you are, even if you made that luck yourself. You were right to worry - don't ever doubt that.

Hello & welcome! You are probably going to feel a little lost and tense for the next while no matter what you do, though I think something like swimming is a great idea - but it will pass. Congratulations on 18 days, that's likely the worst of the physical withdrawal, now it's all about undoing and rewiring the associations you've created by smoking. Grab a seat and find something good to read - it really is the key. I think there's a newbie package around here somewhere. Also, there's a lot more "good news" than just silly cilia, which you will enjoy in due course,

When I was at that stage, what often worked for me was to consciously remember smoking a cigarette. But not just the "romantic" delusion the addiction recalls, but every single moment, feeling and sensation... the constriction of the throat, and mild gag as I forced myself to inhale... the blinding sting of errant smoke that hit my eyeball... the violent, wretching itching cough when I'd already had "too many"... By really focusing my attention on the complete experience in all its pathos, I was able to break the spell and go about my day. Of course, I had to do this more than once before it stuck!

Such a great answer. I am here, and no longer there, sadly. While I am here - where are JClarke & Brenndy?

Last night of vacation, no time for sentences. Gabby, how can you think you are not strong? Can you read what you wrote? How many people could have done what you did, LITERALLY snatching victory from the jaws of defeat? I never spoke to you before, but I think you're a rock star. What an awesome test of character, and a trigger vanquished. You just passed a huge test in dramatic fashion. I salute you.

Below "zero F"? What kinda Canadian are you, anyways? Besides, it's been a fair while since I considered it a pleasure to watch the Canucks play. But it is good to hear from you, my friend. Stay warm, happy and on the train.

Also thinking of you and your sister, and sending good thoughts.

A very quick update from my phone, where I thumb type from a beach bed (who knew that's a thing) on the Mayan Riviera in Mexico, feet from the warm ocean. I'm not trying to make you jealous, just setting the stage. Drinks are included, and thus early and often. I'm with family, and the inevitable irritations (but more often pleasures). And everywhere people are smoking. On the beach, in the restaurants, in the next bed over right now. Locals hawk cigars up and down the beach. And I couldn't be more profoundly apathetic. Sometimes the smell aggravates me, like when it's at the next table. Other times I kinda like it, wafting from far away at sunrise. But at no level of my being do I want one, or miss one, or feel deprived. And I thought that was a message worth sharing. Twenty years ago was my other time in Mexico and I smoked unfiltered Camels and drank straight Tequila. I still drink the Tequila, and could not be more content. To those behind me - keep coming. Your fears are illusions. See you when you get here.

I wanna say something about deja vu, but I hate repeating myself...

Tyme, Mike's right. You need to stop feeling guilty right now - you are absolutely nailing this to the proverbial wall! We all have our own ideas, but in the end it doesn't matter how you quit. Just that you do it. And you are, and it's a great thing to see.

Sorry, I missed most of what you said. :) ps you really are doing this, and it's awesome!

True dat. The idea that "your body knows what it needs" is only true until you start screwing with your equilibrium. It takes a while to reset, and learn how to listen again.

That sucks. ...hey, someone was gonna say it...

Nicola Hwy @ Merritt - I had to look it up just now, to be sure. Thanks for hearing what I hoped I was saying.

Upon reflection, I don't think my first reply was very helpful, maybe this one will be better... Let me tell you about my day - not today, a day that was mine from a long time ago, when I'd first quit smoking. I was about a month in, but since I only drive when I leave the city, this was still a huge trigger I'd not yet faced down. So I was off to visit my parents, a six hour highway journey into the interior of Canada's west coast. I didn't ever smoke around my parents, and so our visits were an exercise in deception - self deception, as I'm sure I smelled like a rancid camel. My usual routine was to smoke like a chimney for the first five hours, then pull over at a gas station to dump the ashtray, clean my car, change my shirt and put on aftershave. I know, sexy. ANYWAY, I damn near cried all the way. But the real treat was waiting for me on the way back, when I found the on-ramp strangely blocked by a service truck. I pulled over, and flagged down another traveller, who informed me that there had just been an accident, and the entire highway was now closed! I never found out what kind of accident can close a 6-lane seperated highway in both directions, but I now had no choice but to follow the fellow on a new back-road route I never even knew existed. Did I mention I like to drive at night? So it was already about 10pm when this all started. Things were going well enough that I passed my friend after a while - I have a zippy little car, and I'm a confident driver. My spirits where lifting when I came around the corner and smack into the back of a monstrous convoy of the most surly, grumpy truckers you've ever met, all of whom had also been forced off the highway onto this tiny, windy single-lane back road ahead of me. The road was so curvy that instead of our anticipated highway speeds, we were down to below 20 - and that's kilometres, not miles an hour. What should have been a three hour cruise stretched to over seven of the most homicidal, white-knuckle scream-driving I've ever endured, as the slowest trucks bottled up the rest of us for hours at a time, along with our rage. Then when a passing opportunity arose, it was carnage as everyone tried to pass everyone else all at once while not letting anyone else in front, to the point of endangering their life. You can imagine how badly I wanted to pull out and get a pack. You've probably guessed that I didn't (I'd be lying if I denied that part of my resolve came from not wanting to surrender the hard passing gains I'd made). But the point of this atrocious word salad is that it was THAT experience that made me think for the first time that I could really keep this quit, not just for a few weeks or months, but forever. Because if I could get through something that awful and not smoke, then every other day was just gravy. If you're only not smoking while things are going your way, then you're not really quit, you're just taking a break. I know this sounds preachy, and I feel bad about that. But I actually think it's an important concept, and one that makes a big difference. Good for you for not quitting quitting, and we'll start over again tomorrow. And the next time something goes all sideways, don't see it as an excuse to surrender, but as an opportunity to kick some ass.

Worst ending ever.

At the price of one super tasty quit smoking metaphor. Was it really worth it?

Me neither! In fact, I've never "NOPE"d on this board before. But if Mike's doing it, then me too.

Don't eat too much, you wanna leave a little room for being proud of yourself.

Hi Matthew! How does it feel? It doesn't feel like anything, really. It doesn't feel like constantly craving the next smoke that will reset the cycle until the next next one... it doesn't feel like a horrible, itching hacky cough that never really stops... it doesn't feel like strange pains in your lungs, back, and throat... it doesn't feel like huddling in the cold rain with the other nicotine lepers... it totally doesn't feel like that hopeless feeling that comes from knowing that you're hurting yourself for no good reason, but can't make yourself stop... NOPE, it really doesn't feel like anything at all. :) But why take my word for it? Come see for yourself.

I've also just now realized my negligence in not thanking you all for what was in fact a very warm and whelming* welcome - thanks everybody! :) *not overwhelming, just the right amount of whelm.

Hey! Here's something random - your birthday is my quitday, April 15... and you've just now been quit 4months 15 hours, by your ticker. Happy synchronicity!