Trish

Taking the easy way out. Congrats to all the milestones I have missed while I was away. You guys are all amazing! Keep on keepin on!! :D

Well done, Ron!!!

Hey guys...Sorry I am here and alive. Been having some computer problems but finally sat down and fixed it this morning. Still smoking. :dash2: Hubby switched from cigars to cigs which is making this very difficult. One of you guys who quit with a smoker in the house should start a thread on it. Would love to see some strategies of how you coped with it in your face all the time! Thanks for thinking of me...I have missed you guys!

You're awesome Ron! Hope you are well.

Congratulations, Stu!

Enjoy your wine, sunshine and FRESH AIR! Let the smoker's have the poisons!! :)

Colleen...I am so sorry for what you have had to deal with. You are a very strong person! You are almost exactly at a year and that is so amazing! I hope to get where you are soon bc no the cigarette does not help at all. It will not change that B****! It only makes things worse. I know that and I have keep that in mind all the time.

6 months...you are a rockstar Tracey! Stay strong!

Thanks everyone. I think I will be reevalutaing my role in this family and if I have to sit back and do nothing for anyone else and just worry about myself than so be it. You are absolutely right. She is beyond unfit. And why he has never tried to take the kids is beyond me. I know he doesn't want them to be mad at him for it but you have to draw the line somewhere. Apparently he called a lawyer yesterday and they said it would be $4,000 to start. We don't have that kind of money just sitting around unfortunately. If he is serious about it this time he can fix his own credit and get the money. I am not putting it on my credit card. I still have thousands of dollars on one from Christmases, school shopping, sports, tools for his work. I am done. No she definitely shouldn't have. She also has another son from another marriage after my hubby. He is almost 5 I think and they are divorced as well. No...my hubby is never on her side but the kids sometimes are. Right now one of the middle girls is mad at her dad...not sure why...but not her mom. She is probably mad at me too. The oldest girl appears mad at us as well. The are all at their stepsisters graduation right now but are supposed to come here after as it is their dad's weekend. He never really forces the issue and a few have already called wanting to go to a friends, their nana's etc. but he said no. We may have a house full of miserable children this weekend so I may just go run errands and what not for the next two days. I don't want to deal with it. Tracey: I am so sorr for what your family had to go through. That is just awful. I have actually been online reading some horror stories about this situation and some of them just blow my mind. It's unbelieveable. I actually told the hubby the other night that mayber I should just go home to PA for a little while and he can call me when all this is over with. I know I won't but once school is out I am seriuosly considering getting away by myself for some time. Not sure where or what...but something.

So for the past two weeks we have been having some major issues with the hubby's ex wife (let's call her B. Well, really I have been having to deal with this for about seven years but it always comes in waves. So a little background: They got divorced after she cheated on him and things went very south. She filed for divorce. She tried to brainwash the children against their father from the beginning of the divorce...some of them fell for it and it took years for him to repair but all of the kids now come to stay with us on a regular basis. In fact the oldest daughter who would barely speak to him for years now lives with us full time. (well, for now). B is now an alcoholic and has liver failure. She needs a transplant. She has been in and out of the hospital for over a year now. As the kids get older, they begin to realize who is the unreasonable (crazy) one. The oldest son got kicked out when he was 16. He had gotten mad at his mother because she had had several different men stay over at the house during one week's time. She got mad when he said something and kicked him out. He lived with us for about a year and a half. He went back his senior year of HS. And who wouldn't honestly? He was given a detached garage as a room so didn't have to stay in the house, allowed to drive without a license, allowed to drink underage and have all his buddies over drinking, skip school, etc. B got fired from her job at the school when someone smelled alcohol on her breath that morning. She had driven her kids to school that morning. A couple weeks later, she got a DUI. She still drinks to this day. The oldest daughter came to live with us this past August. She got kicked out bc she told B's family (her mother, father, brother, etc) that B was still drinking. She pulled her stash out of the truck and showed it to everyone. So many crazy things have happened in the past. If I wrote all of them, it would be a book. I have written many of the incidents down so that I can accurately remember what happened in case it is ever needed for court. But like I said, the past two weeks have been a nightmare. It all started a couple of Fridays ago. Some of you may have seen my crazy curse thread. She called the hubby to see if I could pick her daughter up from school. I was already on my way to her house to pick up her other daughter for her softball tournament that weekend. So hubby calls me to see where I am and I informed him that I could get her but would be about 15 minutes late. I had left a little later becuase I wasn't supposed to get anyone from school. BTW she called at about 3:10 and the girls get out at 3:30. It takes me at least 35 minutes to get to the school from my house, so I would have been late either way. Anyway, B got extremely mad and hung up on him. She had just gotten out of the hospital again so I figured she had wanted me to pick her up bc she wasn't feeling well. No...she wanted to shopping at Lowe's and had already been on her way. She was mad she had to turn around and pick up her daughter from school. So in her anger, she picks up her daughter and the daughter that I was headed to get and takes them to Lowe's...in a totally different town. She tells her daughter she is not allowed to go to the softball tournament. I get to their house and no one is there. I just wasted about an hour and a half of my time not to mention gas money driving there. She knew that I was on my way and my stepdaughter later told me that B was laughing about the fact that I had driven all the way over there for nothing. Nice. So anyway, my stepson just happened to be in the same town and saw them at Lowe's. He called my hubby to let him know. Hubby stopped there on the way home from work, got his daughter and she went to her tournament. So on Sunday evening, softball stepdaughter is fed up with her mother. She calls her and winds up telling her that she is going to live here. Over the next few days, B refuses to let her daughter come to the house to get any clothes for school. Finally, hubby and her are able to come to an agreement...if we bring all her clothes, etc. that the girls have borrowed from her and never returned, her daughter could come get her stuff. So I spent almost 3 hours that day going through their whole room, refolding everything in an effort to find their mother's stuff and make more room for the SD who moved in. I pulled out everything that I knew was hers and then made the girls do the same that night. We took all her stuff to her and my stepdaughter was able to go get some clothes. While we were there, a young lady who lives with them (B's stepson's girlfriend) told us that B had taken the SD's puppy that she got for Christmas last year and took it out of the fenced yard and just let it go. My SD was very upset about this and asked me what she should do. I called hubby to see what he wanted to do and he said just bring the dog. They have already had two dogs picked up by animal control for running loose in the neighborhood. I am sure those dogs are now dead as our local shelter does not hold them for long. Those kids have gone through soooo many animals in the time I have known them it disgusts me. Picked up by animal control, run over, shot at, killed by coyotes, run away, "stolen"....you name it...it has happened. Anyway the dog was also very skinny like no one was feeding it. We are animal people and we can't just watch a dog suffer, be starved or thrown out in the world to face an almost certain death. So the dog comes with us. A couple of days ago my other SD who already lives with us calls from the hospital (B was in hospital again) and says she found a kitten. We have told her for a little while that she could get a kitten but we really wanted it to be weaned/litter trained...not so tiny tiny that one of our big dogs could just step on it and kill it accidentally. She has already made it very clear that she is jealous that the other SD got to bring her dog and she has been begging for a puppy/kitten for weeks. (We already have 4 dogs and 2 cats but these children have been raised to not care for an animal unless it is specifically "their pet".) So hubby lets her bring it home. Of course we don't want it to die. Come to find out later that there were 2 other kittens with it and most likely mama cat was somewhere nearby...but that's another story. So now I have an additional kid (which is great...she needs to be here...they all do) another dog and a kitten. A dog who has been trying to attack my dogs and chewing everything in sight since it got here. A tiny kitten that we are LUCKY is eating solid foods bc it must be just barely weaned. And who takes care of these animals while they are at school/their grandparents/their friends? Oh yeah...me. Oh well, I should just be thankful that the kitten is weaned and I am not having to bottle feed it every couple of hours and the the dog attacks are slowly becoming less frequent thanks to my husband and the power of the pack. I do wish Ace would grow a pair and put that puppy in it's place but he is being a gentleman so far. So yesterday was the 16 year anniversary of my mom's death. I just wanted this one day without drama. As soon as I heard B was getting out of the hospital again...I knew that would not happen. Sure enough...11pm the drama starts. B shows up with her hubby to pick the two younger girls up who had been staying with us while she was in the hospital. I have always, through all the drama, bit my tongue. No that's not true...I can think of one time in the last 7 years that she and I have gotten into it. She had been here with one of her random boyfriend and he asked my hubby if he wanted to smoke a bowl with him. I didn't find out until after they had left so I texted B to let her know what had happend. I figured she would want to know that there were drugs in the car with her and her children and she lost it on me. We had a bit of a texting war that night. But anyway, sidetracked...I wouldn't say I lost it last night...I just wasn't very pleasant. I rudely asked what time it was when they pulled up...I laughed out loud at some ridiculous comment she made, I rudely answered "A cat" when B tried to change the subject and ask me what was sitting on my porch, and I left abruptly and told the hubby let's go. Sorry, that's the first time I have seen you since you laughed at me and you caught me on a bad day. So today I went to pick SD up from school and had to stop by B's house to drop off one of the younger girls laundry that I finished today. (She had put laundry in one day and then her mom wound up in the hospital. She can't stay at the house when her mother isn't there so she didn't get to finish it. Her 22 year old step brother got mad that she didn't finish her laundry and took all of the clothes from the washer and dryer and dumped them on her bed with a note saying "This is not how we do laundry..." We discovered this Tuesday and half of it was still wet and stunk so I had to re wash everything.) Anyway, I stayed in the car and one of the girls brought the laundry in. I did not get out...did not talk to anyone. B pulled up while we were there but I did not speak to her. About five minutes after we left I get a call from the hubby and he says "I am guessing that didn't go very well?" I asked why do you say that? He said "BC she just called me bitching." I say, "Who?" He says "B". I ask, "About what?" He says, "You." Apparently she told him that she has never been anything but nice to me and there is no need for me to come to her house and tell her children what to do. I didn't get out of the car...I didn't speak to any of them...WTF is she talking about? Anyway, I am now not allowed to come to her house. So I have to wonder...the next time she goes into the hospital, who will take the kids to school...who will pick them up....who will take them to their sports...who will do all of it bc usually I do. So somewhere in the middle of all this mess I smoked again and still am. I used stress as an excuse to smoke and I know that it is not helping. I need to set another quit date and will post on the main forum when I do. But honestly right now I am trying to convince myself to stay in this relationship even though it is harder than I ever imagined it would be. Does anyone else deal with a crazy ex? I knew it wouldn't be an easy road as a stepparent but this is ridiculous. I can't imagine not being with my husband but I don't know if I can handle this life anymore. I can't open my mouth unless it is to bend over and kiss her ass. Otherwise, I am the bitch. I can't have an opinion, show an emotion. Everyone else can say and do whatever they please...but I can't. If you are still reading I applaud you and thank you. I just had to vent.

Thanks, Beth and everyone. I most likely won't be able to post anything tomorrow. Don't know about Sunday. Hope everyone has a great weekend. To everyone who pm'd...sorry if I haven't gotten back yet. I will asap.

Do you get vacation time?

Trying to relieve frustration, I watered the gardens. Still not satisfied, I decided to fix a few leaky hoses that have been bugging me. You never know what the winter/elements have done to your water sources until you move them/mess with them. Pipes, connectors, splitters can all POP in an instant. FML...now I have more work to do.

So cute!! You are awesome Melody!!

You ******* ungrateful bitch!

Sounds to me!

That's what I meant...guinea pigs. They kinda scare me...do they bite?

I like gardening...hate weedeating and mowing. Gives me a headache every time.

Oops...snot

Day 5...busy morning. Took girls to school, started laundry, folded laundry, watered plants/gardens. Now weedeating. Yucky...

Congratulations on 6 months Melody! Awesome job!

Congratulations, Jackie!

Congratulations! You're doing amazing!

Happy Birthday, TAC. Hope you are having a great time.

Hey Gabby! Welcome aboard. It's awesome that you are able to make it to 150 days. The folks here will do everything possible to help you make this quit last forever. Read as much info as you can. Glad you are here.