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I love this post. Maybe this is going to sound terrible, but for me smokers are all inhabiting "The Land of the Crazies" -- and with them, insanity abounds. I kept trying to quit over the past few years, and I had one so-called-friend, a smoker, who kept saying, "You know you aren't going to quit forever, so, here, take one of mine..." and it was then and there I realized the land of the crazies was just where all the addicts were hanging out. I have only been smoke free for a few weeks, but it was around the holidays and the new year that I realized I could no longer be influenced by crazies. That is the important message for me in this post. I always allowed a lot of unnecessary stress in my life. Now that I am not smoking I can't afford to take on extra stress. Whatever makes me feel like smoking...if I have the power to let it go...it has to go. This isn't hard. This is heaven on earth! PS For the first time in my life I have no smoker friends! That means, a lot less friends. Haha. But I am sure, in time, that will change. Today I met a bunch of Quit Train people and I feel already that you are friends, and kindred souls, on this beautiful journey! Blessings, all!

I've had a wine or 5. At times like these I like to write, I find myself more honest when inbetween sober and tipsy. I'm close to 10K not smoked. I'm marking time waiting for it if I'm honest. I really want to get there and "get er done". I really have to push myself to think of smoking now. I mean, I can't imagine a scenario that means I would fall off the wagon. My quit is comfortable now. Not to say I never have a thought, I do, but it never overtakes me anymore. I just know this quit is safe. Ipay it forward, for sure, but I choose to do that as much as I choose to not smoke. Reading a newby journal (thanks oneistoo) has cemented where I am, as has my quit buddy hitting a year and messaging me saying "I fell off last night" as a joke to highlight my previous faux pas. That is what I did, 364 days and boom, carnage. Never again! I am stronger than all of that. I will stay quit cause I choose that. I will choose freedom from toxic people because I choose that too. I will fight for who I am because actually, I know that now and that makes me smile. Do you know I am raising strong independant and powerful women...and I'm not sure I even knew I was to lead by example, but it's all good...I am! I weirdly find that I can do whatever is needed and I can do it smoke free. My newest Jen was surprised my situation didn't cause a crave but it really doesn't. No matter what my life throws at me I choose the freedom from nicotine. It's not even an option anymore, it has been a done deal for a while. It feels good to finally write...my quit is properly done. Just here making up the numbers now :)

My mother got settled in at a rehab facility the other day so I was able to come home yesterday. It's a long, boring drive (8 hours) so even though I listen to talking books, I do sometimes wish I had a cigarette to break the monotony. At one point I stopped to get gas and use the restroom. As I was leaving the store I was looking around a bit. The clerk caught my eye and asked if she could help me. I said, "Yes. Tell me no." She looked puzzled and wary but said, "No." I said, "Thank you." Then I continued, "I quit smoking some months ago but I saw your sign advertising cigarettes for $3.25 a pack. So I was thinking..." She immediately caught on and said, "NO!! Absolutely not!! Get out of this store right now!" So I did. We both had a good laugh over the exchange. I probably would not have bought any cigarettes, but for certain sure that clerk would not have sold me any even if I wanted them. That's what I call good customer service! :)