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Shhh, I feel ok *looks left and right for the easy peasy crew* haha. I don't smoke, 6 other people don't smoke now because I showed it could be done. Of course they were considering it anyway, isn't every smoker considering quitting. Where I am today is where I could only dream of being before and I fully respect that and hold onto it. Things have really been getting to me lately. I have felt massively overwhelmed, as such some of my posts might have seemed a bit sad, that's life tho. I won't pretend to be something I'm not and I refuse to be fake. My support for the people here has been unwavering, of course it always will be. The rest of my life has seen yet another hermit month, where I regroup. I'm sure the swear thread has been fully utilized! Sometimes I wish the journey wasn't so hard, but it's only through the tough times of my life that true enlightenment or the next stage, whatever you call it, comes to light. I like that through the last month when I consider smoking it is easy to dismiss the thought. I mean I get the right royal hump I have the thoughts, but that mental baseball bat is dead handy! Getting some violence about this quittin malarky lol. I get what the easy crew are saying now. It isn't that quittin is a walk in the park, it's how you aim your mind. I fear I did this the hard way again, shocker!! So I stand (sit, it's been a long day!) and say this - henceforth, I am going to do all in my power to be happier. Aside from that, new plan, live my life the way I want too. At the risk of sounding like a dodgy song, I am what I am, like it or lump it. I have too much self worth to be trodden down now, too much confidence to be afraid of being judged. They can do what they want and say what they want. I am really ok. It's taken a while. And a few people. And a shedload of people telling me I am worthwhile. This here train will never know what they did for me and I will pay it forward with all I'm worth. In the interim I feel 6 months is a real turning point for me. I was waiting for it and I do defo feel calmer today then I did a week ago. Don't matter tho, no matter what I'm a non smoker :) Non smoker, sounds pretty cool to me. Missed my peace of 4 months, feel like it's ready to settle on me again and I'm more than ready. BOOM!!

stick with the people who love your different, everything else is just noise you are doing great marti but dont forget to take out of the pot occasionally you need a hug too sometimes xxx sending you a hug xxx