It's after 8 pm. I can see myself in my mind's eye, grabbing my purse and heading out the door to the gas station to get cigarettes.
A sigh of relief when I get back, sit on the patio, and light one up.
On the other hand....
I'm no longer insensitive to the actual taste of a cigarette. It would be unpleasant.
I'm no longer accustomed to having nicotine in my brain, so I'd be dizzy, and I don't like that feeling.
I'd have wasted $9.00. In future dollar terms, that's near $90. And that's the cost of living (more, actually) for a day in the future.
I'd have added to the harm already done to my teeth and gums, and the veins in my legs.
I'd return to the gray face and premature wrinkles.
I'd have lost the 12 day stretch I achieved.
I'd have lost the fragile sense of being able to trust myself again.
Sigh. It's not worth it. Skip the smoke. Drink a glass of water, walk the dog, and go to sleep.