October 3, 201610 yr I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by.
October 3, 201610 yr One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, "Why are you home so early?" He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class." She said, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?" Jimmy replied, "The question was 'Who threw the trash can at the principal's head? Damn Bully
October 3, 201610 yr A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.Boy: Why do you look so fat?Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.Boy: Is it a good baby?Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
October 3, 201610 yr A young Bakon comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" Bakon tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." Bakon replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"
October 3, 201610 yr A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"
October 4, 20169 yr An elderly couple is celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary. They are both asked: what are the keys to a long, happy marriage? The woman responds: patience, forgiveness, and understanding. The man responds: AAARGH! THE JAPANESE ARE COMING!
October 5, 20169 yr Author What do you call a guy from India who has done everything ? Bindar Dundat...
October 21, 20169 yr Author Bakon pulls a car over..!! Can you identify yourself sir !! Driver pulls out his mirror and says ....!!yes it's me !!
October 25, 20169 yr A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Suddenly he hears someone say, "Hey, nice tie!" The man looks up to try to find out who said it, but no one was around. "Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up again, but there's nobody there. "Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him. The bartender replies, "It's not me; it's the complimentary peanuts."
October 25, 20169 yr A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?" He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
October 26, 20169 yr Author Twon elephants come across a stark naked man... After he passed,one elephant says to the other...I have no idea how he eats with that !!!
October 28, 20169 yr Author What do you call a party with a hundred midgets ? A little get together...!!!
October 28, 20169 yr Author Confucius says..When naked man walks through doorways sidewards..he going to Bangkok !!!
October 28, 20169 yr Confucius says..When naked man walks through doorways sidewards..he going to Bangkok !!! Confucius also says: man who farts in church sits in pew.
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