I don't know but I'm not milking it

 

 

If a drunk falls in the woods, does anyone here him scream like a little girl?

 

 

Drunks don't scream, if they fall it's because they passed out

 

Which cows make chocolate milk?

The hershey cows

 

 

Why is there a worm in the bottom of some tequila bottles?

Bad quality control

 

Why does autocorrect keep trying to change what I want to say?

 

cos its a typo and it should be called autoincorrect.

 

Why are grains of rye called berries?

Because it's easier to sell berries

 

Why is it called a hookah and not a bong?

To differentiate between the elite potheads and the typical stoner

 

How far east can you go before you’re heading west?

Not far if you don't which direction you're going

 

Which is it curtains or drapes?

Edited September 4, 20205 yr by Mac#23

Curtains

 

Why are weeping willow trees so sad?

Because their branches are drooping

 

Can you really slip and fall on a banana peel?

Yes it you're a cartoon character

 

 

Is a fence suppose to keep us out or mother nature in?

It has nothing to do with mother nature. It's to keep your ass of my grass.

 

Is it a bucket or a pail?

It would depend on the application

 

Why can't I echo in my backyard?

Crawl back into your cave and try again

 

Why do other people think that you actually care about their opinions?

Because we asked for it

 

Can I watch "I Love Lucy" if I only like her?

Yes but you can only watch a portion of the show

 

Why do they call them drive-in restaurants and not drive-up restaurants?

To differentiate them from banks

 

Why is it that every time I turn on the light switch next to my sink my sink starts growling?

It associates light with food, it's hungry

 

Can you get arrested for breaking the laws of grammar?

No one in the South has so far so I'm guessing no

 

What should I do about my eyebrow itching?

Have you got fleas? 

Or scratch it

 

What shape is the sky?

It's a halo around the earth

 

If my foot falls asleep and I stub my toe will it hurt?

Only if the rest of you is awake

 

If you're "born again" do you have two bellybuttons?

Yes and there's no telling where it'll show up and it's usually an outty

 

What's wallpaper called when you put it on a ceiling?

 

 

 

Ceiling paper what else

 

Why is a case of wine 12 bottles and a case of beer 24 bottles?