I didn't know I was in

 

Why does the Easter bunny bring eggs instead of carrots?

Cos bunnies want to turn us in to fat blobs as part of an evil plan to take over the world. Don't think I'm not aware of what you're up to.

 

Can I have an extra large easter egg please?

If you have an extra large place to hide it

 

Why is my bunny sitting out in the rain?

it's auditioning for the Gene Kelly role in the bunny remake of Singing in The Rain

 

Can you not hear the music?

He must be wearing headphones 

 

Who shot the sheriff?

Not sure but I shot his deputy

 

If crime doesn't pay why are there career criminals?

To keep the career cops employed silly

 

If you can't touch this, what is "this"?

"This" is the question you've just asked. Any answer I want to give can only mean trouble.

 

Where do you go to my lovely?

She's with my darling

 

Why do you have to skip to the loo?

Skipping holds the wee in better everyone knows that.

 

What time is after time?

Lock in hours

 

Whose round is it?

 

 

I'll shout, wots ya poison?

 

How come daddy eats penus butter you you eat the vaginamite?

The kid aged 4.5 

Out of the mouths of babes lol

 

Does what goes up always come down?

No, no it does or clearly my scales are lying to fvck with me and we need ta av some words.

 

Why did all the forces of nature want to spill the milk?

You shouldn't cry over spilled milk.

 

Whose milk tastes the best?

Almonds, I just can't work out how they milk the little suckers.

 

Are mangos better than sex?

 

 

Has your man got no nuts?

 

Is a coconut a nut?

Dunno but a peanuts a legume.

 

Why is the sun so bright when I forget me sunnies?

It's had its berocca.

 

Can I borrow your sunnies when your done with them for the summer?

Is it worth posting them over for 6 days?

( besides we still need them for winter down here ?)

 

If the English have toffee (English Toffee) and the Scotts have tablet (Scottish Tablet)... Do the Welsh have Taffy?

Taffy was invented to pull out dental work, right?

 

If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?

The rudest would be a goat

 

Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

Cos the milks so frickin good you wanna lock that shlt down.

 

Shouldn't you always try before you buy?

Edited March 23, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

That only applies to those 40 and younger. Above that and there's no time for trying 

 

Who was the genius who figured out racecar spelled backward is still racecar?

I think it was Hannah but it might have been Otto.

 

Why are violets called violets if they are blue?