Because your nose is stuffed up

 

Are the Dutch insulted by the term Dutch oven?

Not when they go camping.

 

In wot universe is limbo fun?

I've heard it's very popular on Mars

 

Why is a fly called a fly when everything else that flies has cool names?

Because its feelings got hurt when it was called shIt eater.

 

Just what is goolie  gum?

It's the equivalent of breast lifting tape for us older guys who still want to go commando

 

Who turned out the lights?

The wee man with his finger on the switch..

 

 

On what occasion is an occasional table a table..?

Christmas day 2030, just be patient it'll come good

 

Why do dogs wag their tails?

Cos they don't have arms.

 

Why don't marines know what they've been told?

 

Because you're talking to GI Joe

 

Who is the boogie man?

The bloke with the greenest fingers.

 

The St Andrew's cross is linked to 2 things, Scotland and a bondage apparatus... Is there a connection?

It wouldn't be much good as bondge apparatus if there wasn't a connection.

 

Why does time wait for no man?

Because there is no man called no man..

 

 

 

Why is a sausage called a sausage?

Just now, Wee fluffy me said:

Because there is no man called no man..

 

 

 

Why is a sausage called a sausage?

 

Sorry that was meant to be "why does time wait for norman". Seem to be dropping my Rs this morning.

 

So that we can make comic references

 

Would you like a bite of your hubby's sausage?

Would you like your wife to bite YOUR sausage?!

 

Why is there nothing on tv?

Cos its too skin to put anything on.. It all just falls off, stupid flat screens.

 

When will a comet wipe out all trace of man?

Edited March 19, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

Around the same time hell freezes over

 

What's the deal with the sloth?

I heard Chunk ate all his Babe Ruth bars.

 

Why did Jack gave to hit the road and not come back?

 

Cos he was sky diving

 

If what goes up must come down why is there space junk?

Cos it takes longer to come down the higher you get.. Um I mean go.

 

Why would ya sing about bein girt by sea?

It's a misspelling. My Nan's sister Gert went to the coast. She loved it there did Gert, down by the sea and she loved a singalong. Ah simpler times.

 

How's it going?

With an engine an some juice.

 

Where ya bin?

Out front, it's collection day

 

What can you do, eh?

Facepaint an decorate cakes.

 

Wot can you do?

Slip in gratuitous references to masturbation in as many topics as I can. Cum to think of it I'm surprised I haven't been tossed off the boards for it yet.

 

When will I ever grow up?

But aren't you the pan?

 

Why is there a strange race of orange sheilas in Essex?

Edited March 19, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo