So Christmas is a wonderful time of year for putting aside grievances and creating memories with our loved ones. But the older we get the more likely it is that the loved ones who were the stars of those memories from years gone by are no longer here to share this special time, to laugh over old events and to create new memories. So not having those people we loved, who touched and shaped our lives here to share this Christmas with tinges the time with sadness.

 

Its OK to feel sad we don't have them here... but as a wise person said to me (and I am paraphrasing), remember the good times and smile while you think of your lost loved ones because its what they would want. So last Christmas was hard in our house, because we lost a dear friend on Christmas Eve in horrendeous circumstances... so while last year I was broken but held things together this year I am crumbling around the edges. All the people I have lost, who have shaped my life and my Christmases are pretty close to the surface tonight.

 

I know I am not the only one who is missing loved ones, either due to an absence of distance or because they have moved on to the next stage. I want you all to know I'm thinking of you and hoping that you can remember the good times and be grateful for all the joy and happiness you shared with your loved ones for the time you were lucky enough to have them... and so....

 

Grandad... using the curling ribbon from our presents to tie to the eaten chicken drumstick bones and sending as to the lake to catch eels.... for instigating the family horseshoe battles when playing cricket became too much for you.... for going to war when you didn't have to....for teaching me about betting, and odds, and horses, and fractions, and Euchre and Backgammon and poker.. and fostering my love reading and giving me grown up stuff to read.. and for doing what you could to make my childhood happy and safe....Christmas has never been the same without you.

 

Grandma S... for creating every tradition I hold dear... for always having that secret sparkle in your eye... for saving all your coins, all year, to divide between all the grandkids.... those coins made my summer magic..... for teaching me to cook, and knit, and sew, and crochet, and to take something broken and ugly and make it whole and new... for always seeing the good and beauty in everyone, except the ticket inspector and the dog catcher.... and for giving me faith, not only religiously but also in my fellow man....thank you for loving me just the way I am... for teaching me the beauty of cricket, and the majesty of football... thank you for crushing tubs of ice, filling a bucket and sitting on my knew so I couldn't pull my foot from the iced water... every week after netball.... for being at all my speech nights, and sport nights, and presentations, even when noone else could make it... there you would be with that sparkle in your eye and the little nod that meant you were proud of me... thank you for saving me... for being my safe place....my protector and my champion.... and thank you for always making me a little chrissy pud with none of the disgusting dead flies in it.

 

Grandma E... you weren't my grandma by blood, but you were my grandma none the less... last Christmas was my first without you... thank you for marrying my grandad and taking on his three adult children, their partners and their kids and loving us as if we were your own... and when your own grandkids came along we never felt any difference in the way you loved them and us... sometimes it takes more than genetics to be a grandparent.

 

To Chris-ski you polish d1ck... fvck mate... still can't believe you are gone... one year ago tonight.... you did good mate... even now your not here you are still looking after your wife, and your kids....they are safe, and they are slowly learning to be happy again.... you filled the frickin church mate... standing room only.... and in the time you were, time that was much too short and ended to suddenly you left your mark on so many lives.... you were loved, you loved and you will be remembered always. You served your country, you cared for everyone in your life, even your patients came all the way across Melbourne to say goodbye.... I wish I could turn the clock back, tell you not to get in the frickin car.... not to go with your brother.... you would be so proud of the missus and kids... they are become the closest little unit.... and there ability to forgive T puts me to shame. Gunna miss ya every Christmas... remember sitting it the cold and rain the year the girls were born at Carols? I'm so glad we got to have our babies 3 days apart... and we both got girls... who woulda thought... LOL... well, Merry Christmas mate... and STOLAT!

 

David... I'm sorry I missed the signs... I'm sorry I didn't say R U OK... you will forever be my naughty little cousin on the beach trying to tip the dingy or the cheeky heathen chasing the milk goats around the paddock with a stick trying to get them to stampede and being attacked by the ducks instead.... I'll miss ya little buddy, I'm so sorry you didn't know that you were loved and wanted by so many just the way you are.

 

PJ... wish you weren't in your little Austrian village this Christmas, the first one without your dad but over here with all your crazy kangaroo cousins. Love you to bits and pieces you little classical music playing metal head... be proud always of who you are, I know your dad was... so proud of you...love ya little matey... come back down here and visit us soon.

 

And the others I'll always miss sharing my Christmas with, Aunty Mary, Uncle Paddy, Luke, Uncle Pat, Selfie, Matty, Lauren, .... and last but by no means least, forever in my heart and marked on my soul Abigail, Thomas & Coghan.

 

So feel sad, but rejoice also because for how ever small an amount of time we had to hold those we loved and those that loved us dear we created wonderful, happy memories and those are what we should let shine. To all my QT friends, regardless of where on earth you call home, may you have the happiest of merry christmases... and if you want share a greeting with a loved one you can't be with.

First Xmas with out my bezzie mate in 64 years ....no popping in with a bailey,s for you ....while you cook your dinner ...I miss you every minute of every day ..

Don't worry ,I'm going to call in on your family ,with a bottle of baileys ...xxx

7 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

I'm going to call in on your family ,with a bottle of baileys

 

After 64 years they're your family too Sis... some family we get stuck with by a fault of nature and other family we happen to meet by chace and make family by choice.... Hugest hug for you darl and will be thinkin off you.

Edited December 24, 20187 yr by notsmokinjo

1 hour ago, notsmokinjo said:

 

After 64 years they're your family too Sis... some family we get stuck with by a fault of nature and other family we happen to meet by chace and make family by choice.... Hugest hug for you darl and will be thinkin off you.

Hugs back at ya  Jo xxxx

 

 

I lost my best friend to breast cancer December 16th last year.  She was the one that was always there making me smile through the difficulties of life.  

She battled the breast cancer three times in her lifetime, twice beating the odds and adding years to her life.  I was so honored to hold her hand and help her through her

battle and in the end it was she that held my hand and told me things would be alright.  I can say that it hasn't been any easy year and there will always be this huge void in my life.

I do know she is smiling down at me, proud that I have finally dealt with my addiction and happy that I have been blessed with many more wonderful people in my life - my quit buddies!

Hugs Linda.... I know your pain ....xxxxx.....Best Friends ...Irreplaceable..... Xxxxx

On 12/24/2018 at 10:19 AM, notsmokinjo said:

 

 

David... I'm sorry I missed the signs... I'm sorry I didn't say R U OK... you will forever be my naughty little cousin on the beach trying to tip the dingy or the cheeky heathen chasing the milk goats around the paddock with a stick trying to get them to stampede and being attacked by the ducks instead.... I'll miss ya little buddy, I'm so sorry you didn't know that you were loved and wanted by so many just the way you are.

 

 

 

Thank you buttocks, that sound like the perfect description of me. Hey check the other thread, im staying! So ill still give you a good spanking once in a while. I want to help people quit smoking.

 

Well i miss my best friend who is dead (hanged by a rope), my grampa who died in the beginning of the year (old age) and i miss the company of one special person. Other than that i have my whole family i believe. My friends are also all fine as far as i know.

 

I miss...the old days. Seems like life will fade away into sorrow and disappointment. Even when i lost my best friend, i was still fairly joyful. These days i get colder as i get older.

 

I seem to be led by misfortune and it really hurts me on chritmas; did you know that this holidays season is the season of suicides? You can see why. Imagine feeling alone when everyone is making dog jokes about you.

 

Above all i miss my innocence, the true joy of chritmas when i had when i was a child...that shit aint returning for any of us isnt it?

I'm sorry for your losses Stewpot....

But really happy you are staying .....like me ...helping good folks from  killing themselves with nicotine ...is such a worthy cause ....

We help so many ....

I am sorry for your losses to Stewpot.  So glad you are staying.  I think you need us as much as we need you.  Life is so much better with friends!

Just now, Doreensfree said:

I'm sorry for your losses Stewpot....

But really happy you are staying .....like me ...helping good folks from  killing themselves with nicotine ...is such a worthy cause ....

We help so many ....

 

Thanks Dorreen. Well its has been 10 years and im still a broken mess. I think, theres nothing worse in life than loosing a person you love. My grampa, well he suffered a lot so in the end i was, strangely, almost glad he died. I suppose that doesnt make me a monster? I miss him, but he had a long and productive life. Now my friend, that shit brooke me. You´re never really the same after; i had no mental illness before my friends death.

 

I agree, this forum is a good cause, and i like hanging on the internet a bit, so this will be my corner to relax and reach out to fellow smokers.

As Doreen says, helping others in any way we can is the greatest gift we can give Stewie so ..... continue with what you do; giving your quit knowledge to others. You were one of the first ones to help save me! You probably don;t even know that or how much it meant to me 

1 minute ago, Linda Thomas said:

I am sorry for your losses to Stewpot.  So glad you are staying.  I think you need us as much as we need you.  Life is so much better with friends!

 

Thank you linda! I have friends in real life you know...but internet pals are good too.

1 minute ago, reciprocity said:

As Doreen says, helping others in any way we can is the greatest gift we can give Stewie so ..... continue with what you do; giving your quit knowledge to others. You were one of the first ones to help save me! You probably don;t even know that or how much it meant to me 

 

Thank you Peter, glad i was of help to you. Sorry about those strange PMs you received, i was thinking about someone else. And i was adjusting to new medication. I seem fine today actually!

On 12/26/2018 at 4:47 PM, Stewietech said:

 

Thank you buttocks, that sound like the perfect description of me. Hey check the other thread, im staying! So ill still give you a good spanking once in a while. I want to help people quit smoking.

 

Well i miss my best friend who is dead (hanged by a rope), my grampa who died in the beginning of the year (old age) and i miss the company of one special person. Other than that i have my whole family i believe. My friends are also all fine as far as i know.

 

I miss...the old days. Seems like life will fade away into sorrow and disappointment. Even when i lost my best friend, i was still fairly joyful. These days i get colder as i get older.

 

I seem to be led by misfortune and it really hurts me on chritmas; did you know that this holidays season is the season of suicides? You can see why. Imagine feeling alone when everyone is making dog jokes about you.

 

Above all i miss my innocence, the true joy of chritmas when i had when i was a child...that shit aint returning for any of us isnt it?

 

My relationship ended 11 years ago and I have only just found my own happiness this year.  

 

I don't know your circumstances but I didn't really appreciate my husband as I should have done. I loved him with all my heart and when he ended our marriage my whole world fell apart. 

 

I think the hardest part was knowing I brought it on myself. If I had just treated him with a bit more love and respect it would never have happened. 

 

I was so badly depressed I was given help and I learnt punishing myself by telling myself how horrible a person I was really wasn't helping me. I loved and I lost but my life went on hold with grief while his went on happily.  

 

These days my life is worth something again and I haven't felt so happy for years.  Don't let life slip past you x