May 4, 20188 yr Good morning all, This morning on my drive to work, I had to stop and get gas. And while I was pumping gas, thoughts of going in the store like I usually did, and buying a pack of cigs and having just one or two kept circling through my mind. Then I would just throw the rest of the pack away and pick my quit back up. Addiction is insane. That doesn't even make sense. I don't want to smoke, I want to quit! Yet, I try to convince myself to smoke? I am still amazed that it wasn't until these past few days that I didn't realize I was addicted. I thought I enjoyed smoking. I thought I wanted and chose to smoke. I am almost 65 years old, a reasonably intelligent (? :)) person and yet live in denial about cigarettes? I had "heard" about what smoking did to your lungs, but I never let it penetrate. I never looked at pictures of what smoking did to your lungs and what they looked like...until yesterday ?. I regret for not valuing my precious lungs more than my cigarettes, for not valuing time, for not listening. Yet, even as I embrace my lungs, time and life there is a voice in me that says...have a cigarette. But NOPE, not today.
May 4, 20188 yr The addiction is nasty and the fight can sometimes be hard. One day at a time..........it's never too late! Keep that commitment, you're doing great.
May 4, 20188 yr One day at a time and before too long you’ll have several days, and then several weeks behind you. Do whatever you have to do to not smoke. Cigarettes do nothing for you. They take away your time, your money and your health.
May 4, 20188 yr Congratulations, you have just beaten and deprogrammed one of the triggers. Getting gas will not cause domino of thoughts anymore. Cherish the quit, it’s great!
May 4, 20188 yr Author Thank you all for the encouragement. Quote ...beaten and deprogrammed one of the triggers. Getting gas will not cause domino of thoughts anymore. Wow. That is hopeful! And as I look at my week, it is right on. The "firsts" without a cigarette were tough for me this week, but once I did something for the first time without smoking and deprogrammed the trigger, it became easier and easier. Like waking up in the morning, first cup of coffee, driving to work, breaks, before lunch, after lunch, driving home from work, after dinner with coffee, before going to bed. Those things I had done for years always with a cigarette were tough the first times not having one, but now they don't trigger my crisis. Yet, this was the first time I had to fill my car with gas, where many times I would buy a pack and it became a crisis. Thanks for that perspective ! I will prepare myself for these firsts or at least understand what is going on.
May 4, 20188 yr LML...I was more or less the same age as you are when I quit... I never in all the years called myself a addict..what me...no...I was a lady who just liked a smoke ..as a reward for all my hard work... My head was well buried in the sand...until I came here , with a serious health issue ....until then ..I didn't have the knowledge... I can promise you freedom is the most wonderful feeling in the world...keep going...youv,e nearly done your first week !!!
May 4, 20188 yr Happy Sixth day of Freedom ! Denial is one of the benefits of addiction like all the other lies. 'it relaxes me' (it doesn't) there are a million falsehoods. Educate yourself about addiction, knowledge is the greatest tool you can have. Remember NOPE, we are addicts and Not One Puff Ever must be our mantra. and HALT (are you Hungry, Angry (emotional), Lonesome (bored), Tired ) Often, we think we need a smoke when we have other issues to address. Here is Babs609's thread, HALT , and my thread, Riffing On H.A.L.T
May 4, 20188 yr You have such a clear mind so early in the quit, LML, that I have no doubt you’ll achieve the goal. Since I quit I’ve truly enjoyed reading about neuroscience and how does mine work, it truly helps to keep the quit when you know where are the thoughts coming from.
May 4, 20188 yr The others have given you a lot of great info. to work with lml And, you are right. Those 1st times doing things without smoking are when we are challenged. They say the seasonal changes are the same way. We tend to do different things in different seasons so it can take up to a full year to have met all those challenges head on. Of course, things do get progressively easier as you move forward but there are still new situations right throughout that 1st year.
May 4, 20188 yr Author Quote They say the seasonal changes are the same way. I live in Florida and we are known for not having change of seasons. I wonder if I will be spared that part? ? Quote I can promise you freedom is the most wonderful feeling in the world Doreen, That promise alone makes me smile and is a wonderful feeling. Something wonderful to look forward to. It makes the "pain/confusion/insantity or whateverever it is" I am now experiencing well worth it.
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