helmethermit

as much as i love hanging out here i just need some time off as the way my mind works is weird. i need to go offgrid in a sense and heal. i will be completely off every gadget - net, phone, mobile etc for quite a while. just lie in mommy nature's lap and bask in her glow. i will be back when i am stronger and enjoyed endless huggies from mama teddy. but for now the bull (im taurus - lol) needs to head down the tall grass to hide away and spent some alone time. take care everybody and thank god that the forum is free from the strange bull for a while at least.

-3 hi GAD !! good morning crew ! (god ! why the hell are we still underwater - where is that bottle of rum ????) landlubbers !! they can be so nasty - come on sea dogs - unfurl every sail out there and you - quartermaster - wheel amidship - steady as she goes...lol

-3 Hi tammy - thank you for taking the time the reply. i tried, lol. now it is back to war - lol. have great day !!

what ?? - 12 weeks ????????? WOW !!! keep inspiring us - so happy for you !!!!

-1 a very good morning GAD

ONE MONTH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats and keep inspiring us !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

random log book update: observation 1: just a slight cough after i wake up and this clears up soon in less than an hour. observation 2 : the thirsty feeling of a dry throat,mouth etc is back to normal. lasted some 2 weeks. observation 3: overeating and hunger pangs. a foodie by default - i like to keep chewing all day - so not an quit aftermath observation 4: just no craves that register and so that means things - SUC (situation under control) - lol. observation 5: SMELL !!! - at this rate i could replace those sniffer dogs soon, lol. observation 6: self - worth. i have a new found respect for the fighter i am. that is so precious observation 7: FOUR (fear of unconscious re-lapse). during lockdown - no fear. post lockdown - may have to watch out for this moderate probability scenario for a few days. since this is more of ingrained habit and spontaneous reflex action. correction will be clean out the jeep and car of all nicotine ammunition. observation 8: the mind has begun to give me ideas to protect my quit like i prepared a list of friends and work related folks i usually interact with in person. they are classified as follows - green (non smokers), yellow (occasional smokers or someone who will be happy i quit or those who do not force me to smoke) red (any smoker who smokes more than ten sticks a day / anyone who i feel will force me to smoke / anyone i feel who emits negative vibes) observation 9: shunning negativity has helped (since 4th day of quit i implemented a lock-down with negative outlook, negative vibes or folks that undermine my self esteem - that lock-down for now is still in progress indefinitely. i have fed this list onto my mobile and disconnected my landline) - red and yellow as above earlier cannot call or reach me on the phone until further notice. observation 10: embracing positiveness has helped. similar to shunning the red and yellow list i scroll through the green list to call at least one person a day who had asked me to quit at any point of time in my life and disclose my quit to them. there are very few but the joy in their - ' really, say that again my man - you quit , i am so happy' . do it once and you will realize how much strength it fills you up with. summary of first leg of voyage: seas - has been smooth sailing currents: have been in favor final analysis: 1. i admitted i was an addict and needed help by googling and landing up here. 2. i ''needed'' to quit. it was so much more than a want 3. i yelled for help and swallowed my ego 4. i followed the instructions of folks who had navigated safely out of these reefs to the oceans and were so eager to help me out 5. i just broke out the rear view mirrors and cast them to davy jones - i did not want a glimpse or glance of the bygones, lol 6. the quit was like a child that the forum family raised for me. i was like the mom who just had to recuperate well for a while. final remarks: 1. you need to ''need'' to quit 2. join and sign up to quittrain.com 3. yell for help - father, mother save son, lol !!! 4. pick a godmother for your quit from so many wondrous choices out her 5. sit back and enjoy the magic as you are healed. three weeks later you would post something that renders this post obsolete. would that not be something , lol a grateful sweet puppy doggy (with that power to smell - i cannot feel anything but - lol !!) end of log entry. signed - hh

-4 hi tammy, just read your signature. stunningly beautiful !!!. are you a full time or a part time magician?. i mean i presumed rightly if i may admit so in all my humility that - you are a gifted writer. soulful stuff really and i am mesmerized. BUT!!!!!!!!! that still gives you no right to gang up with these bad girls and beat the boys!!!!! lol !!! come over to our side - its more fun, these girls are boring, lol !!!!!.

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-2 GAD- you are sleepy sleepy, go to sleepy sleepy kingdom, you are going, you are gone, lol

-3 lol, HI GAD - u girls are ruthless. keeping us underwater - lol.

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!” ― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa

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lol, no worries - i presumed something and it turned out wrong .i've been there a million times before but i an not presuming wrong this time i know - when i presume that i found a good soul in you - a friend in the making for now perhaps. that i am sure of. have a wondrous day, a magical weekend and press repeat on monday. put life on that autopilot setting - take care