Today cravings were intense and I breathed and just sat mindfully through them. Perhaps four times I told myself that I was going to cave, so just go to the store and get it over with. I reminded myself of how nasty the cigarette would taste after nearly a week of not having one to blunt my taste buds. I reminded myself of the tangible harm I notice that is done -- irreparable, I think, though I am hoping for a little bit of healing.
Day five is closing, I am going to sleep. I think tomorrow will be better than today because I have the practice of having worked through some strong urges to go and buy cigarettes. It's pouring rain right now (typical Seattle weather), and I like falling asleep to the sound of rain.
Not ready to join the NOPE pledge yet. I want more time, more days, of being quit first. I have a lot of failures in my past and don't want to let myself down again. I feel hopeful, but I have been hopeful before. For now, I am just grateful to have succeeded for five days.