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tocevoD

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Everything posted by tocevoD

  1. I think we've all threw a quit away at some point. That's why we post on here, to share experiences like that. It's all about how fast we get back on the train. Make it a small blip and get straight back on. I had a habit of reading my Allen Carr book when I made a blip in the past. You need something to remind you why you quit in the 1st place. Keep fighting the good fight.
  2. I'm now 5months and 11hrs in on my tracker. Still getting random thoughts. Wouldn't say it was every day. I can't even remember the timescale between them. I'm around smokers in work. They don't bother me now, I pity them after observing their habits and how much they need the nicotine without even knowing it. I am using them without them even knowing it for my own fight. I was one of them so the thought of having to feed the habit again is my fuel. The thing is I can feel my stress levels rising at times. I think we all get it. We have stress levels and the adrenaline rises. I actually think my rising streets levels and adrenaline rising is prompting me towards the ciggies. Maybe the brain is sending the signal as I would have had a ciggie in the past in the same situaition. Maybe its one of my final hurdles. Not to feed it in this type of situation. Looks like it's going to be a battle for life. Will the thoughts ever go? To anyone who is a few years into their quit, do they ever completely go?
  3. I've been demonising it in my head for the last 4 and a bit months. Pitying smokers and seeing how hopelessly addicted they are. You take a step back and see it for what it is. I've had smokers say to me "I'm gonna pack in soon, yeah I think I'll do it after my holiday." Stuff like that. They see you have packed in and think they can just do it by snapping their fingers. Then you look at them and they're trying to cram in every ciggie they can, when they can. It's a hopeless and fruitless addiction. You gain nothing from it and lose everything. Health, wealth and relationships all badly affected.
  4. They are the most selfish of people. Being a non smoker you see it for what it is. They want to smoke where they want. If they are in the passenger seat of your car sometimes they'll ask if they can have a ciggie, erm no not under any circumstances I don't want my car stinking of your stupid habit. It's just all consuming for them and they think they can impose it upon you if you give them an inch.
  5. If you've demonised smoking enough in your own brain then it ends up easy to be around people smoking. You end up laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. When you see them running back and forth to their safe haven to have a ciggie. When you see the panic when they can't find their ciggies. The kids laughing at them when they hide away so the kids don't see them having one. I'm only at day 80 but I find myself laughing at the smokers now. There's a lad in work. When I quit he said he was going on holiday and when he gets back he was going to quit. He's still smoking. The first fight is with the brain. Win that small battle at the start and you're on your way. You need to demonise the act of smoking.
  6. Their business is in getting youngsters addicted to nicotine no matter what the delivery method. Kids should be educated in schools about why they should avoid nicotine at all costs. Health and wealth severely impacted
  7. When you pack in and stand back you realise how utterly selfish it all is. We have all been there. They feel like they should be allowed to smoke anywhere. As I say, we have been on that side aswell. You only see that perspective knowingly when you pack in. Such a selfish act being a smoker.
  8. Yeah feeling better Jillar. I think last night was the initial big one. I think it was because I knew my son was going home yesterday so I had my brain taking that as a signal to smoke again a few days ago. The build upto yesterday had started a few days ago as I say. I feel better today because the urge to go and get a packet was batted away. It was strong, I must say. I'd had a few beers so there's the trigger. That's twice now after beers that its been batted away so maybe can take that as a positive? Reading up on the effects of nicotine on the brain at the moment so basically know that the body is craving increased dopamine levels that it would get from nicotine. It's not getting fed. Haha.
  9. Went out Friday 18th August and got through that massive hurdle after not smoking for near on 50 days. These last couple of days have been my biggest urges though. For the reason I don't know. Since Saturday 19th I've had my 7yo son staying with me and these last couple of days he's sent me a bit round the bend. He's going away with his mum and bro tomorrow Monday 28th. I'm back in work Tuesday 29th so may go back the gym after work. The gym and eating well focuses me even more. I'm just a little worried with these urges, they've been pretty strong. I think my resilience to the thoughts is stronger now. Is this just a challenge? The dying dopamine levels through nicotine inaction? Must keep up the fight. Nicotine is the enemy in all its forms.
  10. Hurdle cleared. Happy days. Onwards and upwards.
  11. I'm now at day 46 of my full on quit. In the past I've done a 5 year quit but accepted I would smoke on social occasions. This quit is the end all quit. The forever quit. I've had my times in the last 46 days where I have had small urges associated with situations where I used to smoke. Tonight I am in the major associated situation. I'm going out for a drink with friends around a music gig. This was where I would have smoked in the past. This is the severing of it for me. I will not smoke tonight. The smell, the cost, the wheezing, the hiding away, the 46 days accomplished. None of it is worth breaking just to introduce nicotine into my system again. I have resisted all NRT because I know the addiction is in in the nicotine and being a former smoker if I use NRT then it will always lead back to smoking. I will keep the strength I have built up already to ease me through tonight's final goal. I have called it the first big hurdle. In all honesty it could be called the last big hurdle.
  12. It's weird but I'm enjoying the odd crave I get each day. It's only 2 or 3 times a day but I'm enjoying batting them away. What is more concerning is imagining future situations and asking myself if I will smoke then. That was always my drawback. I had a quit for about 4 or 5 years and it ended because I started romanticising going out with friends and allowing myself one or two as a treat. At the moment I'm asking myself if would smoke in tragic situations involving myself or family members. It doesn't seem normal at all but this is how ingrained this thing is.
  13. 4 weeks in. Feeling good. Looking at smokers as victims rather than anything to be desired. Still getting thoughts but they're not strong thoughts. Thoughts that are easily batted away. The money saved is really bizarre. I was having, on average, 16 a day. My savings as displayed on the app I use for 4 weeks packed in is over £270. That is money back in my pocket rather than giving it to some faceless tobacco company employee or giving it to government taxes. No brainer isn't it.
  14. I read something a while back that said that governments and tobacco companies were looking at ways, for decades, how they could lose the need for cigarettes specifically. A way for people to ingest nicotine and stay addicted without the need to smoke a cigarette. It looks like they are onto a winner with these vape machines. The amount of children I see and hear of who are basically addicted to them is grotesque. Schools are having to send out warnings to parents of the dangers because they know how many kids are using them. This needs to be addressed by governments but they won't do nothing. There will be initial lip service for a while because they want this addiction to get a firm hold in the community first and don't want anything to get in the way of that. It's absolutely horrible. I fear that everyone using them now is a guinea pig and we will start to see the problems they cause years down the line. Much the same as we did with smoking.
  15. Still getting urges but I'd say I'm on the low end of the amount of them. Seeing the urges as just thoughts at the moment. I'd say I think about them 2 or 3 times a day. It's pretty easy to bat them away at the moment with the benefits being felt in other parts of my life. I bought Nicotine gum when I originally started this thread, and when I originally meant to pack it in in March. The gum is still there but I don't want to take any of it because I actually feel like I don't need it and I don't want to have nicotine in my body at this point and definitely not in the future. From previous experience the gun makes me feel as bad as I do when I was smoking. I used to suffer strong anxiety straight after and during a ciggie and I'd get the same feeling from the gum. I feel confident this time. Feeling good.
  16. I finally cracked it. 2 weeks and 18hrs in. I'm using an app to track my progress. Going the gym regularly so I feel the benefit there. Playing football with my 7yo son, feeling the benefit there. Better energy levels all round. Money in the pocket and not being wasted on the sticks of death is a massive factor in my quit, maybe not more than playing footy with my son but up there like. All in all feeling very good. And the bank balance is looking better without spending nigh on £60 per week to kill myself.
  17. Been on here in the past. Been on here as a smoker and as a non smoker. I started with the ciggies last year fully again after trying to be a social smoker for 5 years. I was that social smoker who didn't smoke the rest of the week. It doesn't work. You are either full in on a quit or you haven't beat the habit. Soon enough the social smoking had ventured into the rest of the week and I was fully smoking again. You're either all on with the quit or not at all. I'm ready for all in. I'm full on focused that this is the time I will fully quit. I hardly go out socially much anymore but even if I do I'm sure/certain I will not want to go down that path again. The time has come, I've been down this path before. I know what the 1st few weeks will be like. The brain triggering at every trigger point. Up in the morning with a cuppa, the brain sends the signal of how you used to have a ciggie. Just home from work, the brain sends the signal of how you relaxed with a ciggie. These are all things that will be batted away again until the thoughts go completely. Wish me luck if you want but I don't believe I'll need it this time. This is the time I finally beat it and regain my life. Will be in and out of here over the next few weeks, months to document my progress.
  18. Missed yesterday's NOPE as was a bit busy. So it's a double NOPE for me today.
  19. I packed in for what was a good 5 years and it's now wormed its way back in. During them 5 years I'd learnt to expect that I was still going to social smoke. I would still smoke on certain occasions usually involving going out for a drink. Now Im at the point where I'm just smoking without the drink. I can see that the problem has returned full time. It's gone from social occasions to just full time. Averaging my old average of 10 a day. It needs to stop again and it needs to stay stopped. I've always had something running alongside my quit during them 5 years. Eating well and going the gym being the main things. I have done neither since being full time back on the ciggies since April. I've decided that tomorrow is the day. The day I head back the gym. The day I start the battle with my brain to eradicate the thoughts of having another ciggie again. I have been through the promptings before and I'm going to tackle them full on again starting tomorrow. Time to get the old gym kit out and go in search of the old healthy me. Wish me luck.
  20. I'd echo what other people say. Go and see a doctor if you think something is seriously wrong. If the doctor says everything is ok then you need to look at your anxiety levels. I have been through severe anxiety a few times when packing in in the past and I was at the docs every week seeking reassurance. In the end I realised that it was the withdrawal symptoms from nicotine. We are not all the same body. We are not all the same mind. We will all have our differences from withdrawal to such an addictive substance as nicotine. Whether someone smokes 1 or someone else smokes 50 the one who smokes 1 could suffer the most. That's the human body for you. No guarantees. Go and see your doctor and as I say if he/she inspects you and says everything is fine then you need to look at your anxiety levels. Our mind can play these little games on us when withdrawing from nicotine abuse.
  21. Random pop in due to another forum I am on making me think of QuitTrain. Truth is I can't even remember the last time I had a ciggie now. It was that long ago. The lockdown over coronavirus in the UK has probably made it easier for all of us. Still running when my knee allows me. I don't have any urges for cigarettes at all now. I think if I was to go out on a night having a drink then the urge to have one would be with the alcohol. Pre coronavirus though I was hardly ever out. I've settled into the life of a chilled out 40+er. I think I need to accept that when I go out though that that urge will be there again. But what more can I do? I hardly ever go out as mentioned. Post coronavirus when I do eventually have a day out then that will be my next fight, eradicate it when having a drink. I've eradicated it from my every day life. Now onto the next step, whenever that may be with coronavirus around.
  22. Haven't posted for a while. Just thought I'd drop in and let you all know how I'm doing. Well where to start? A rollercoaster year for me. Massive achievement's mixed with abject failures. Achievement's being the running, which is still going well albeit after a short hiatus due to niggling little injuries. Failures being the couple of times I have actually smoked. Single days out being the main culprits, once at an all day music gig and two separate days out on the demon drink. I don't know why I bother drinking it always leads to smoking. There was one longer period of smoking which lasted a week. It started off with a 3 day holiday and when I returned from holiday I finished the rest of the week smoking. That was the beginning of August and that was the last time I smoked. I seem to get to a point in my quit and then start looking for a reason to smoke. Before the 3 day holiday I had made my mind up I was going to be smoking for the 3 days. The grip had got me that much. Same with the one day music gig, I had decided before it I would be smoking that day. I feel now like I will never smoke again. I have no feeling for it and no desire. I'm currently loving running and I have taken onboard a lot of the Allen Carr books teachings of the nicotine trap. I totally get what he is saying. I feel like the final hurdle is these urges that come out of nowhere that make me plan when I'm going to smoke. As I say at this moment there is no need or desire. It always comes with alcohol but I have no alcohol days planned. The cure could be to go out and have the day out if I must but to pre plan to leave when the urge comes. Just slope off to save my own sanity. It's more important than being a social, jovial soul.

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