cheri

im in.

never let a THING control you. this is just a thing. It doesn't have feelings. You dont have to care.

Today I'm just wondering how much a professional hit man costs, and thinking of how awesome it would be to just disappear to some unknown tropical island where cute pygmy men served me fruity foo-foo drinks in coconuts, while fanning my hot self with those big feathery fan thingies and massaged my feet all day. I'd have them feed me grapes too, but I hate grapes. Unless they're fermented.

HAHAH! I just got so confused on what day it is, but nope. Not today, and not the real Friday either.

Noooooo...I am definitely not.

HOLY SHIT! Not that I didn't think you were beautiful from reading your posts prior to this..but WOW! (always nice to see faces and things) You look spectacular! Such dedication to yourself. <3

I don't know Nancy well enough to be in her pants, but I'll give her a big hug and a reach-around when I do it.

I've been in some intensive therapy for maybe a little over a month, 2 hours a session, 2x a week. (Some really serious shit goin on in a short period of time). Not the first time, but the first I have actually stayed with it because...well I'm out in left field lately sometimes. WAYYY out. Like across the street from the ballfield, in the next town over ...out there. I know you didn't notice. It adds to my charm and extraordinary good looks, if you ask me. I can't even begin to tell you all the stuff that has resurfaced.. and I'll spare you all that today. This is NOT due to not smoking...lol...but I like to use that as an excuse. Not smoking has made me a freaking lunatic I say. In all actuality, I feel calmer. WAIT? WHAT? LOL!! THIS IS CALMER? hahahhahahahhaha. *facepalm* My therapist laughed at me today, and asked me how I made it this far in life? :D I really like her. After being diagnosed with depression, anxiety and then today..the great possibility of PTSD, she said she believes we can work through all this icky stuff because I am willing to talk about everything and anything, and I don't even seem to know how to hold back. I shouldn't need any more medication. I said great, because this zoloft sucks when you snort it. Holy bonkers Batman. I hope I get through all this soon, because sometimes I feel very vulnerable. Which isn't like me at all. Or maybe it is? Was and I just never knew it? Yikes. Maybe I'll find out why I ever smoked in the first place?

I was pretty into Ashtanga, and a little into Bikram (hot yoga) for over three years which was wonderful. (and funny when you know I smoked) I plan on going back soon.

may I ask, what kind of yoga do you do?

I would rather beat my nether regions with this. Nope. Not today.

That's nasty, but sorta cool too.

My cheapass even took the groceries to my baby mamas house which was nearby to put in her fridge so they did not spoil. Just because you were bleeding and in pain does'nt mean you didn't want to eat later. I mean, that WAS the whole point in going to the store in the first place right? (I did laugh at your story too)

Once I have overcome a huge obstacle (good or bad) or painful period in my life, I really REALLY like a little physical pain right after. It releases all the yuck I was holding on to, that even a shrink can't help with. It finalizes the whole ordeal for me, symbolizes that it is all truly over and I can move on. Every scar on my body has a backstory. Every one is a reminder, a memory. I think this is #28, though I'm beginning to lose count. It's around there somewhere. It's time for some ink therapy!

I would rather slowly drive large, rusted, acid covered pokers into my........ Well you can just imagine where that was going. Nope. Not today.

LOL...not really regret, sometimes my brain just goes on and on and on and on...and then I go back and read again and Im like HOLY CRAP gurlllll....you need your medication upped, or to start smoking pot or something. :D

;)

youre never alone here. <3 come back soon.

id never pay that much for a hair utensil. only because i came from...and seriously.. drying my hair with the shop vac on blow, not suck. i did chores and my highschool 80s hair. i loved aquanet so much. i aint there now...and im never going back.

Today, I love that Im still here to read all of this. And boobs. Especially mine. I should go touch em..yanno, just to make sure all is good. :D it is almost boob awareness month. Whats the harm in getting an early start?

-13. Wait..how did i get here? Christ.

Hi Kendra, I hope you are feeling better. I didnt read much further into this forum past this post yet, so if Im late..well yanno. Stress and negativity is no stranger to me. Some days, I hate everything. Everyone. Myself included. Sometimes things suck so bad you just want to revert to the person you were, the I dont give a ****, Ill back away and go smoke, or drink or whatever you did before to alleviate the pressure. You can go do that. Ill never be the person to tell you not to. (these are NOT words of encouragement to go be self destructive). What I can tell you though, is why would you ever WANT to give up what you worked so hard for, for someone else, or something else? Youre stronger than you think. Dont give anything or anyone more power over you, than you. It aint easy. No one signed up for some of the vomit they are spoon fed daily. Shits always gonna happen. Life wont stop until you do. Then you wont care. You wont be here. Might as well be strong and healthy enough physically, mentally, and emotionally to deal with it all, when it comes abruptly. Its easy to throw deuces then. Love yourself. Have faith in yourself. YOU CAN. <3 Cher.

who let that chick ^ on this forum anyway?

BOOBS! i win. :D

isnt this what happens in alaska?