shaun

I hardly consider the massive traumatic event i went though yesterday to be "bulls**t excuses". A "bulls**t excuse" would be my car broke down or someone was rude to me etc. I finally got the courage to disown the person that has caused 17 years of trauma in my life on the EXACT day i tried to quit. Calling it "Easy Peasy" is an further insulting because it is clearly not Easy Peasy, disowning my father is one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. If i had a bit of quit time under my belt i may have been able to get through it, but this was clearly a case of really bad timing, and i don't think many people would have been able to pull it off. Thanks for trivialising one of the most horrendous days i've ever had in my entire life. Think back to the first day you quit. Now imagine losing someone you loved dearly on that exact same day. The rest of the responses were thoughtful and compassionate and i thank you all for that. The above response was impulsive and shallow with no actual insight. You had nothing of value to add to the situation. Clearly this is not the place for me to be cos i'm infuriated right now about the trivialisation of such a traumatic life event. I will continue to try to quit until i succeed. Maybe that will be next time, maybe i'll need to try 20 more times, either way i won't be returning here. You keep ending your comments with "Easy Peasy". Can you honestly say that when you quit it was easy? Anyway, tons of people that quit do it without a forum, so i guess i will be one of these people. Once again, thank you to the people who actually bothered to be thoughtful and insightful and provide intelligent feedback, i appreciate your efforts and your messages were comforting. Peace.

I only just joined this forum and my quit day was supposed to be today. I failed almost immediately. Today has mostly been a blur but i remember calling my dad as soon as i woke up. I wont bore you with the details about what he has done to me, but today s**t just hit the fan and after a long day of screaming matches he sent me an infuriating email, and i have officially disowned him. He won't acknowledge any of his wrongs and to be honest, nothing he could ever do would make up for what he did to me as a child. He is an alcoholic so he lives in a constant state of denial about everything he has done. I hate to say this but i still love my father because i'm holding onto the father he was when i was really young, the one that i naively looked up to, but he is not a good person, and as i grew older i saw this and stopped looking up to him. I want so bad for him to be the father i need and recently i've been desperately grasping at the hope we might one day have a good relationship, but i know deep down that will never happen. It hurts me like crazy to know that it has had to come to this, and i'm still in a shock and feeling really messed up and emotional. I want this quit soooooo bad, and the timing of today was so unfortunate. Part of me knows that it's understandable i failed on such a monumental day, realising he is out of my life is killing me inside. But the other part of me is beating myself up for smoking and calling myself weak. I need a little time to centre myself after this incident though. I'm going to think it all through tomorrow when im more clear headed and set a quit day in the near future. I cant let him ruin this for me. I'm so sorry guys, i feel so ashamed and embarrassed that i failed but i dont want to give up. I want to try again. Please will you be there for me still? I feel so alone and i'm in tears right now over this. Sorry to rant like a lunatic, i'm going to attempt to get some sleep now, but if i could achieve this quit it would be like taking the power away that he seems to have over me. Thanks for reading.

No thats not too much info at all, i appreciate the break down so now i understand what people are talking bout. I like the concept.

I actually joined another forum at the same time as this one, and i was immediately turned off by the other one because certain people were being aggressive, judgemental and even a little insulting. It felt like they were attacking other members rather than supporting. My view on this is that an environment such as this, we should all have the right to feel safe and supported. I don't feel this is the place to attack people based on your own personal (and often misinformed) opinions.

I've seen this phrase "sticky quit" mentioned a bit on here, what exactly does it mean?

Thanks a lot everyone. Well, it's almost 4PM where i'm at and i'm about to have my last smoke. Here goes. Would be lying if i said i wasn't nervous. I'd also be lying if i said i was 100% confident. :wacko:

Thanks for the story Marti that gives me a lot more confidence. By other place are we referring to another forum or something?

Thanks for the kind words everyone, my family doesn't support my decision to quit so its nice to have some support.

Many people attempt to quit without joining a forum. What was it that made you come here? For me, I'm a big fan Leo Babauta and Zen Habits, and he said that when he quit he joined a forum which really helped him in terms of support and accountability. Then after many failed attempts i knew i needed to try something different, so i finally took his advice. Any other Leo fans out there? I'd love to connect if there are, as his writing has sincerely changed my life and helped me in many ways. But more importantly, i'd really like to know your personal story as to how you got here.

i can relate to this so much. I've been meditating a bit recently. I found that the hardest thing about not getting angry is the fact that there are so many crappy people in the world. Selfish, ignorant and mean people. Meditation is definitely helping me get more centred. I'm trying to focus on the good people in the world and let go of the actions of others because some people can never be changed. It's a daily struggle though, especially because i have a girl living two units down from me that seems to be on a daily mission to do inconsiderate things that annoy me. When i was meditating yesterday i heard her making a commotion outside and i refused to acknowledge it, i just kept focusing further inward.

Hi Michelle. I am also a recovering addict so it's nice to find someone to relate to. I just joined this forum tonight because i felt really alone in my journey to quit. Not getting much support from people in my actual life. I know nicotine is one of the most addictive substances but i also think we can use our recovery as a tool. I mean, we have been through so much in achieving sobriety and that is proof that we can handle big challenges such as this. Best of luck, hope to see you round on here.

So i just joined up. I am from Melbourne, Australia. 30 years old. My quit day is June 11, 2 days from now. I know a lot of people say you should make a day weeks in advance but i'm really desperate and i've tried to quit many times, i simply don't want to wait weeks to give this a try. Two main reasons i am here: 1) I've tried to do this heaps of times before and although i've had minor periods of success i've eventually relapsed, so i figure i need to try a new approach, cos obviously doing it alone is not working. 2) I read a lot Leo Babuata's work and he said that when he quit he joined a forum and it really helped him with accountability. The longest i've gone without smoking is about a week and a half a couple years back. A few weeks ago i managed to do 3 days then i got mad at someone and fell off. I always relapse when i get mad at something/someone. The kicker to all of this is that i'm a recovering addict (8 weeks sober). A lot of people are telling me i'm too early in my recovery and i'm taking on too much at once, but the way i see it is that i'm technically not clean anyway, because nicotine is a drug and i am currently addicted. All i have done is get clean off the other stuff. Besides that, i didnt get clean off other drugs just to replace one addiction for another, and also, cigarettes are killing me and i just can't accept any excuse form myself. I want to approach recovery holistically. Hopefully this forum can be a refuge for me because all the people in my real life just tell me to not take on too much right now and that i should worry about quitting in a few months time. Please support my decision to not wait! I am so sick of hearing people encourage me to smoke! Especially when these people are the people closest to me, it makes me feel so alone.

please ignore this post, accidently double posted, see full post above, admins maybe u could delete this one?