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I am happy to report that so far things are going better here than I expected. In the first place, I'm feeling pretty calm about my mother's condition. She's resting comfortably in the hospital awaiting surgery this afternoon. The doctors and nurses are being good about controlling her pain (i.e., they are listening to me and accepting my advice :) ) I don't have to get aggravated about her care. What happens after the surgery remains to be seen. My sister and I have been able to peacefully discuss Mom's care and condition and other than that we stay out of each other's way. She is voluntarily smoking outside and not leaving her cigarettes laying around so that's a help to me. So thus far things are going better than I expected. The next 2 or 3 days will be critical, however. Please keep praying that things work out for the best for my mother (whatever that means).

Hahahahaha soooooo ive made it to 7 days! Cant believe it! So bloody proud!

I keep a journal and I was just browsing for day 1 thoughts and feelings as someone asked for ideas and found the poem/motivational writing I made myself to read by candlelight looking for additional strength, I sat and wrote it the first evening. I will never forget how I felt, a mixture of emotions both sad for what I thought I was giving up and how would I cope and utter exhileration that I might actually make it. Manic, Panic, I can't breath! Raging, pacing, Inside I seeth. Smiling, laughing, Can't quite believe! Nice People, Steep hill, I can achieve!! This time, this place, is where I see, I could always do this, I can be free. I'm scared and happy, kill or cure, I'll give it all to come out pure. Live for today, not tomorrow Only forwards, no failure sorrow. I can, I will, I shout out loud I own my body, I will be proud! It was fun to find it and apparently I jumped from foot to foot literally shouting nope - I wonder why the neighbours look at me strangely nowadays haha. :)

I love the poem, Marti! It's so honest and so evocative. You really captured the quit smoking experience! I just saw this here on your blog. Now I have to go find it on the Main Board. I'm so glad that you posted it there.

Getting my sleep pattern back on course finally (keeping my fingers crossed). I started this quit smoking way back in May, and just this past week got some good sleep. This sounds trivial compared to what some folks are going through, but I find it hard to cope each day without at least 5 hours of sleep. And finally it's coming around. Whoo hoo!

Oh, Sandy, what a relief that must be! I am so impressed with the way you hung in there through all this messed-up sleep pattern but still kept your quit. Ordinarily, I would say, "Go out and celebrate!" but in your case I will say, "Crawl into bed and celebrate!" Enjoy!

So day 6 has arrived... Cant believe a week has nearly passed. I am a non smoker and i LOVE it!! Am also loving the fact that im not craving food as a substitute! I do feel slightly more agitated/restless, but im puttin that to good use with housework etc may the force be with me lol ;-) Happy NOPE day guys x