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Tobacco Wars Documentary - Part I, II & III
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Almost 6 months

I hold on to my quit being a fantastic thing. It instills strength, pride, worth to me. I love how I feel, this freedom. Even the occasional time it feels "tricky" I know I'm ok, weirdly I "trust me" nowadays. When life feels a bit hard, I often wonder is it due to the quit - the truth is honestly no and it hasn't been for some time. Non smokers have bad times and rarely anymore is it about not smoking.   The "problem" seems to be people still think I am the person I was. The smoker, who acce
Still winning

Still winning

1

Found my day 1 poem

I keep a journal and I was just browsing for day 1 thoughts and feelings as someone asked for ideas and found the poem/motivational writing I made myself to read by candlelight looking for additional strength, I sat and wrote it the first evening. I will never forget how I felt, a mixture of emotions both sad for what I thought I was giving up and how would I cope and utter exhileration that I might actually make it.   Manic, Panic, I can't breath! Raging, pacing, Inside I seeth. Smilin
Still winning

Still winning

4

Wallow time completed.

Not my style, not my way but I think I just done wallowed the last two weeks of my life away? Sad, unhappy, over thinking, questioning myself, my life, my parenting - but not my quit. I love that bit by the way, even when life feels like it utterly sucks balls for no apparent reason my quit is still in the "oh yeah, doin it" section. August was the most abhorent, scary emotional month I have seen in some time. I am utterly jaded but re grouping.   I am brutalized I was too unwell to complete
Still winning

Still winning

4

Got no mates!

Another quitter today has raised the "drop off rates". Wow they are pretty high!! Now there is a person on the board with my time, but only one. This time is a bit strange to be honest. 4 months was lovely, no craves, all peace. 5 months is reminding me, hey you used to smoke...hey you, you smoked you know....hey hey, can you hear me and so it goes. Now of course it's good, it's me. I have traced back and found the triggers and will work on them and my quit is safe.   So where's me mates at?
Still winning

Still winning

2

What's going on?

It's all a bit hairy in the wonderful world at the moment. At the risk of "engaging my weird", I know the energy is off kilter at the moment and everyone's feeling pretty insecure, I guess I'm no exception.   Quitting: Well that's two who have fallen off that I have cried real hard tears for. I panicked, what if that was me later?? My advice upon more tears from my fella was "you really must stop getting SO involved with everybody". My quit buddy's advice was I'm an "unhinged psycho and my qu
Still winning

Still winning

4

Singing and smoking list

When I gave up somewhere I got the idea to write a list of why I didn't want to do the smoking thing anymore. I added more and more of course, as we quit new benefits and logics come to you. Anyway, orginal list:   -Broke my word to Milly TWICE saying I would quit and didn't -I want to sing along to my songs I like -My cough -Mums health scares me -Want to go out sometimes (money) -Can't afford clothes and shoes which I need. -Florida trip, going nowhere! -£300 a month?!? -Outside smok
Still winning

Still winning

5

5 beautiful months

My quit still will always me happy. I put it on a pedestal with other amazing things I've done. I think I value it so highly because I understand my quit was an addict literally fighting for a life! I see all day every day the effects of smoking related illness and one can only be an emu for so long.   I knew I needed help. I am pretty tough :) I have been through some situations which I am lucky enough grew me into a spiritual and warrior type of force. Do not misunderstand that, I am incredi
Still winning

Still winning

3

Been a while

Not updated as not much to report to be honest.   I'm almost 5 months, as it's the 2nd I know that's in 10 days, but mostly I don't really remember how long it's been since I quit. That feels massively ironic as at stages there I was counting in minutes, at a push days. Months seemed totally unrealistic and I smile to think back.   It turns out 4 is my new magic number. Since the actual day I turned 4 months quit I have honestly felt great! That particular day was a dark one on the emotiona
Still winning

Still winning

1

My mum has a 1 month quit

She forgot the date, she has done none of what I did or had any support - just cracked on after 50 odd years and didn't smoke. She's been quitting forever, far longer than I was trying for.   She is still cranky as all hell but she is also feeling unwell. The quit was prompted by a heart scare which can now add to the copd as a lifelong condition, caused by smoking and it was the trigger she needed to just stop there and then. She used a patch for 2 weeks then ditched that too.   We bitch a
Still winning

Still winning

1

Don't smoke - I will find you :)

Boom and by the gods, got another one sucked in!! My Giles quits tomorrow with a brilliant mindset of - Mart, if you've got it, then so can I! I LOVE this inspiring stuff!! Even if this doesn't take, he is thinking, and seeing it's do-able and I am somehow managing to enable that, simply by quitting!!   And his twin brother is part of my soul group, so if I can suck Giles in, maybe I can suck my Elliott into quitting. By the way some people think soul mates are the bird/bloke they happen
Still winning

Still winning

4

Sometimes it's still hard and emotional

I don't take failure well. I don't take pointing out or twisting my flaws well.It stillpushes my buttons. Not SOS now but I find it harder when people piss me off. I understand how I gave up a year quit when I feel upset. I won't, cause nothing is worth it but blimey. It's been tough isall.
Still winning

Still winning

14

I think it just got easier again

Sometimes, when you least expect it, this quitting malarky ramps itself up a gear.   I was soo upset and angry earlier in the week. I knew I wouldn't smoke, I did think about it read my own answer to an sos (which it wasn't but precautionary). It suddenly felt like an answer from another lifetime. I have cigs in the house, have the whole quit though so not new or a plan, and I thought "I wish it would help, I know it won't, sigh". And just carried on being upset.   Like a non smoker!!   Ha
Still winning

Still winning

3

My Mum finally quit!!

Ok, so it took an admission through A&E and two ambulance calls, a cist on the kidney and a damaged and over beating heart whilst literally filling up with fluid at 66 years old.... (and breath) ....but she quit.   She will never read this cause "forums aren't her thing, all those do gooders patting each other on the back" apparently?! But still a one week, bootstrap quit. Just cracked on, some whinging but too scared to smoke anymore.   I am still worried but sooo relieved she is at l
Still winning

Still winning

4

3 months and a few days

Goodness my brain has been busy!! It's so different now, the thinking, much easier but still conflicting.   I know for sure I will not smoke, no matter what. 3 Reasons for this. 1 I want to be a non smoker 2 I simply cannot do that withdrawal again, never in all my days would I have called myself an addict, until I realized I was an addict. 3 My fear of smoking now far outweighs my fear of quitting and the random thought neurons I still possess. Reading that back I still run by fear rather
Still winning

Still winning

2

Almost 3 months

I feel like I ought to sing a rendition of Elton John's "I'm still standing" and I smile at this. I had so many failures with quits I'm not sure I've fully taken in that I don't smoke. Yet I have, I KNOW and have known for sometime, truth to tell, that I'm done, no more smoking.   I'm not sure of the point of this blog?? lol. So me, I start writing with no idea of the end game. I wish I was one of those together people who always had a plan :)   It's my magic number coming up next though. I'
Still winning

Still winning

1

Time standing still?

I know it's not possible of course but it all feels a bit samey at the moment, it feels like time isn't really passing. I just put in June celebrations to the calender, or started too. Put in it will be 3 months for me next month and thought "Jeez, is that all"! I guess this can be taken in a good way. I look at the progress I've made, the limited triggers I now get and that's at 2 months and some but it feels weird and out of whack, like it should be longer, not sure why.   I also look ho
Still winning

Still winning

1

Arguments!

Argument today, with my Mum. Waited for the trigger and it didn't happen!! I wondered if I would think about smoking .. actually what I thought is smoking won't help at all here and genuinely meant it.   Broke a trigger!!!   Sadly this just means there are too many arguments around me all the time :( but still chuffed this is not a trigger now.
Still winning

Still winning

1

My mojo is back!!

I am a quit buddy whore, I have two cause I'm greedy like that. Just my new one talking about getting back on the train has reminded me I always wanted this. My older and yet strangely skirted (for a fella) and experienced one has reminded me all the way through that I have had this since day 1. I don't know as if I forgot that per se, I think I was safe...but I forgot the severity with which I wanted this freedom. Talking someone else through it and actually my beloved cousin asking me about i
Still winning

Still winning

3

Emotional overload

Tough emotional week, like gritty tough. Living on my nerves but wasn't really concerned about my quit which felt safe and of course, is still safe. My kids are away for the weekend so I can relax and maybe I just drunk too much? Mum lit up in front of me, a conversation went horribly wrong with Chris, then from nowhere - massive crave! Like huge crave, what the hell, where from?! Before I know it I'm out of bed and hunting the house for cigarettes...jeez, really have no idea! I got to the poin
Still winning

Still winning

4

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down..

I want to be all light and airy and supportive on this board. But I don't have that in me right now. Right now real life is not playing ball, or maybe I really am nuts and causing drama in my own life. I can't face anymore arguing, even if I say I don't want to talk, I can't seem to shut my mother up at the moment. She is sniping and shouting and carrying on like quite frankly a child...although that's insulting to kids, cause my kids behave better! Her non quit is doing my frikkin head in, I'd
Still winning

Still winning

4

4 months!

On my 4 month landmark I felt like my life was falling apart. It was the day I realized my family is not on my side, and merely relations.   It was also the first day that smoking did not enter my mind - at all - all day. 4 month plus one day made up for it with craves lol, all ok now. It's a choice rather than a gut clenching moment nowadays.   I don't know what to do about those in my life who feel fear, or upset for who I am but I do know nothing can make me smoke again.   I have atten
Still winning

Still winning

0

Obsessing and fitness

I have quit now some amount over 7 weeks, how funny, I no longer really remember, I just know it's that long as I had to count a while ago to post a question. I like this board and it's support so I will continue to use it and pay it forwards too but I think somehow I subbed smoking for posting? Bit more balance required is all i think.   I have added exercise this week and must admit it feels quite good. Wish I had of listened and done this earlier. You don't crave at all when you are actuall
Still winning

Still winning

0

No wonder!

I'm up and down like a yoyo. The energy is off the scale and I've been to caught up to even look what's going on. You know the problem with quitting smoking...you think everything is about not smoking!! How frikkin annoying that my life has been entering a place that feels much like the toilet, when part of whatI do is understanding how energy influences us - and I missed it. Utter divvy!   First time I've written on my web page since I quit :) I may be more emotional minus cigs but I cont
Still winning

Still winning

0

11th March to 18th April

My champix is taken and my quit date set, I have literally tried all other options and this is my last one. However my partner and mother both smoke. My Mum is disabled and has copd so can't actually get outside to smoke. It's not an excuse because I will no longer let it be but I failed previously because there are always going to be cigs around the house, that's not changing for now so I must have a better plan....but if I quit, maybe they will too?? Either way I would appreciate any tips,
Still winning

Still winning

0

I could smoke, but I don't smoke and repeat

I am at no risk of smoking still, that's good but I am bored senseless of this inane internal drivel, could smoke/don't smoke, that goes through my head every day. I don't even know how I would explain it but I still have the same thoughts of times when I would smoke. For sure they are less frequent then they were. For definate they are not the gut wrenching craves of days gone by and haven't been for a long time. Just like a fly really that keeps buzzing around you and getting right on your las
Still winning

Still winning

0

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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