October 10, 20169 yr Just checking in..... Feeling rather emotional today (not like I'm going to cry or anything. Just kinda sad) Not sure why but feeling like I lost a friend. I'll be ok. I think it's called romanticizing it. Still smoke free. Can't help you here... you were born a woman :) Other than that... congrats on not smoking. Keep on keepin on.
October 10, 20169 yr Just checking in..... Feeling rather emotional today (not like I'm going to cry or anything. Just kinda sad) Not sure why but feeling like I lost a friend. I'll be ok. I think it's called romanticizing it. Still smoke free. Glad you are checking in. I bumped a couple of threads about romancing. Cut yourself some slack, you are in a very vulnerable place, a place where growth happens. You have just broken up with the worst companion you have ever, ever had. The one that only wants you as a slave. The relationship that will abuse you until you are DEAD. Even knowing intellectually how deadly and damaging our relationship to cigarettes is, the attachment of addiction sticks like atomic glue. I always thought about The Stockholm Syndrome where captives feel compassion, sometimes even falling in love with their captors. Shedding tears is good. All that gunk can flow away. You don't need this relationship anymore. Ever. and likely you will learn enough to protect yourself from anything like it. Forever. I am so glad you are done with cigarettes. You may not see it yet, perhaps you are getting glimpses...but, your future is beautiful and you are strong.
October 10, 20169 yr Author All I found was the more times, when I had sad days like you have today, I went through it the easier it got. Like with any loss really, no matter what the loss is, time does soften the feeling..till one day it's just not there. That's what I'm doing. Just riding the horse till it dies. ... you were born a woman :) Yes I was. Lol. The Stockholm Syndrome I am in awe that you said that. This is exactly what I have been associating it with all day. I haven't felt or thought that I want a cigarette. What I have thought is that this is just part of the process and once this is done, I will never have to go through this again. Still keeping my eye on Rome........
October 14, 20169 yr Author Tiff. You need to check in, just to chill me out. Love, SMae Hey, I am so sorry. The other day, I was leaning over my washing machine. It's one of those tall ones. And I heard this pop noise. Well, I really thought I had broken a freakin rib. But after finally going to the doctor yesterday, cause I didn't think they would do anything for a broken rib anyways and I hate going to the doctor, I had an xray done and no, it's not a broken rib but a severely pulled muscle. And this freaking hurts like a mother ducker. So she put me on muscle relaxers....... last thing I need is a muscle relaxer but here I am forced to take it if I want relief. So last night and this morning I finally got to sleep. Slept till 9 this morning. Called the office and told them I wasn't coming in and then laid there feeling like a whiney biatch for missing work over a pulled muscle. So ended up going in and now I'm home back on the muscle relaxer. But the good news is...... I'm still smoke free. Even if I wanted to smoke.... I don't think I could breathe in deep enough to make a difference. Good thing I don't want to. Something that I thought was interesting though..... I was talking to the doctor and I had told her I quit. I havent' really told anyone yet. And she was saying that if a smoker gets a "frozen" shoulder, that they will never heal from it. That the toxins in cigarettes cause the body to create adhesions that are different from a non smokers and that they cannot be repaired like a non smokers. I don't know why I was awed by that so much. I mean we all know smoking is harmful to the lungs and cardiac systems..... and it really does affect your whole body in so many other ways also. But to create an unrepairable adhesion ? I'm going to investigate that a little further..... for my own curiosity. Ok, I'm obviously babbling here. Have a good night and I will check in again tomorrow.
October 14, 20169 yr Something that I thought was interesting though..... I was talking to the doctor and I had told her I quit. I havent' really told anyone yet. And she was saying that if a smoker gets a "frozen" shoulder, that they will never heal from it. That the toxins in cigarettes cause the body to create adhesions that are different from a non smokers and that they cannot be repaired like a non smokers. I don't know why I was awed by that so much. I mean we all know smoking is harmful to the lungs and cardiac systems..... and it really does affect your whole body in so many other ways also. But to create an unrepairable adhesion ? I'm going to investigate that a little further..... for my own curiosity. I've never heard of that before. It's not surprising though. The harm caused by cigarettes that we all know about is just the tip of the iceberg. Good riddance to cigarettes.
October 14, 20169 yr I'm sure we would be shocked ..if we saw all the actually damage smoking can cause... It's not just lungs...far from it... Keep your quit TIFF....your body is healing day by day...xx
October 14, 20169 yr Sorry about you having pain. I know that not having cigarettes in the equation enables faster healing. So happy you are smoke free and thanks for checking in. S
October 15, 20169 yr Author So today..... I want to smoke. I am not romancing it. I am not even thinking about the negative or "positive" aspects of it. I just want to smoke. And I know why. I have so much to do that I feel very disorganized. And I don't know why I think smoking is going to help that. I'm not connecting the dots. But for some reason..... I'm thinking that one cigarette would be ok. Edited to say: I am not going to smoke. Just another day to barrel through. And I'm going to do it with shopping. lol
October 15, 20169 yr One..no such thing...if I could just have had one...I wouldn't be here...neither would you TIFF.. Thousands arn,t enough Keep the quit..
October 15, 20169 yr Author One..no such thing...if I could just have had one...I wouldn't be here...neither would you TIFF.. Thousands arn,t enough Keep the quit.. Yes ma'am, I am.
October 15, 20169 yr This is the voice of the addict that must be ignored and replaced with higher thinking. When cigarettes cross your mind, replace the thought. It needn't be a 'big' thought just something to exchange, to switch the synapses up. Look at that light on that leaf. Look at your hand. Look at anything and concentrate on that anything. Say something out loud. I said, 'Free Your Head'. Do something physical...turn around three times. It is just the addiction and these moments will be over soon. Hold your resolve because you know what you are doing. You are quitting smoking. That is that.
October 15, 20169 yr Author I am focusing on many other things today. I'm not going to smoke. It's just weird how I almost expect it to be normal for me to smoke. Look at my hand, huh ? Lol. That one made me giggle. I can't wait to reach the other side.... Where all of this is behind me. That will be the BESTEST day in the world !!!!
October 15, 20169 yr Lots to do? Then just organise it on paper...make a list of every single thing you have to do...cross off as you go along. I have had to do this for the last three years, stops my don't know where to start horrid feeling. I found doing that single task removes how stressy my poor mind gets. Helps me heaps...and still do it now, daily. Also my mind isn't as sharp, as it was, when I smoked...so it stops me forgetting things too. Great news that you're not going to smoke.
October 15, 20169 yr Also my mind isn't as sharp, as it was, when I smoked... I just wanted to say that except for a few instances in the first weeks of quitting smoking, when I was definitely foggy, spacey and feeling disconnected during nicotine withdrawal, my mind is a lot more focused since I quit smoking. I attribute this to the unadulterated oxygen entering my bloodstream and to the habit I acquired early in my quit, to take frequent breaks with a handful of deep conscious breaths. This helps to direct my focus and keeps me alert to the task at hand. Of course, being over 60, lists are extremely important ;) but, this breathing technique continues to be an invaluable tool. It also made quick work of defying craves.
October 16, 20169 yr what are you thinking about ? Hitting a wall ? only a few more days and you have a month done. It gets radically better, at least it did for me after the first month. I go hang out in chat, join me if you feel like it.
October 16, 20169 yr Hey, Tiff. I have to log off so, I'll be leaving chat. I'll try to check in through the evening. Hold on to your quit, you will never have to go through this again. These last nic fits may be more powerful than expected but, never as powerful as you are. You will make it though. Tomorrow will be better. Get a good night sleep. S
October 16, 20169 yr Author I'm doing ok. I tried the chat room. It wouldn't load. I'm on my iPad. Just having crave after crave. Dealing with a sick pup, neighbors husband left her and she's using me as a sounding board (while smoking one cigarette after another which is understandable as she is upset and that's what smokers do) and my mind is screwing with me. And I have canker sores and my ribs hurt. But on a good side, I bought 2 leather recliners today. Got rid of my sofa and looking to buy another one. Found out to fix my son's truck is going to be 100's less than what I thought it was gonna be. And I'm still smoke free. Just a tough day. Tomorrow will be better
October 16, 20169 yr Author Hey, Tiff. I have to log off so, I'll be leaving chat. I'll try to check in through the evening. Hold on to your quit, you will never have to go through this again. These last nic fits may be more powerful than expected but, never as powerful as you are. You will make it though. Tomorrow will be better. Get a good night sleep. S I'm sorry Saze. I'm getting distracted with the kid and the dog...... I'm ok. I gotta get it done. Have a good night and thank you.
October 16, 20169 yr Author These last nic fits may be more powerful than expected but, never as powerful as you are. S I like this. I'm putting this in my signature.
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