In horse racing the wire was the finish line

 

What's up with the phrase" basket case"?

Its so we have stupid questions to ask 😋

 

 

Why don't plants have teeth since they need to be fed?

Because they don't need to chew

 

Why is it so hard to kill a cactus?

The devil protects them

 

How does lint find belly buttons? 🤔

With Belly static cling

 

Why are they called a barbell if the don't ring like a normal bell?

Because they don't ring like a normal bell..

 

Do cats think we steal their poop?

They buried it, how do they even know it's gone

 

What's a dog thinking when he sees you picking up his poop everytime?

"Say my name biatch"

 

More importantly what is a dog thinking when she's leaving it?

 

 

Here we go get your bag out

 

Why can't they make composting crap areas for dogs?

Its because of the odors, same with people poop

 

If I eat a cake that has a picture of a person on it does it make me a cannibal?

No, just means you have a sweet tooth

 

Are toad stools real stools?

Yes....for toads

 

What does tickle the ivory mean?

It means you're a creeper and should be monitored closely

 

Do flashers only wear trench coats?

No, they also wear a smile

 

Why don't dogs use litter boxes?

Because their to lazy to bury the poop

 

Why did birds stop making noise when you cover the cage?

I don't know but it worked on me when my neighbor tried it.

 

If a pencil is nummber 2 what's number 1?

A liquid P pencil

 

 

 

If it's called a gameboy can girls play it too?

No they can't. Neither can men

 

Does Santa take returns?

No, because he is never wrong when it comes to gifts and sizes

 

Why do the elves have pointy ears?

 

So we know they're elves and not kids because Santa would lose his toy maker license for hiring child labor.

 

Why are there so many types of pasta noodles when they all taste the same anyway?

The italians just want to make things more complicated

 

Which is it spaghetti sauce or Sunday gravy?

Its always been spaghetti sauce. 

 

If someone says get off your high horse does that mean I can only ride ponies?

 

Or small donkeys(but you better ask Boo first)

 

If there are miniature horses are there also miniature cows?

They're still working on that. So far they've gotten to the great to the 100th degree  grandkid

 

Why do some people talk louder than other people?

 

 

Because they're shit faced

 

How many beers does it take before the volume is jacked up?