Bert and Ernie do

 

If a picture says a thousand words where the hell are they?

They're hidden in the picture like Waldo

 

Who decided which way was north, south, east and west?

The weather vane did

 

What did the tooth fairy do with my teeth?

 

Made jewelery out of it

 

How many times a day on average do people blink?

More than you'd think.

 

When is the right time to fart?

Is there a bad time

 

Is smarter to fart while walking (crop dusting) or stationary?

I prefer to be stationary to enjoy the reactions of the people nearby. The only exception would be out on a date. ALWAYS crop dust when out on a date

 

Is it possible to out run your shadow?

 

 

I don't know, can you run in the dark without hurting yourself

 

Do pets actually take on their owners characteristics?

Oh no, I thought it was the other way around. I guess I'll quit marking my territory now

 

If roots are under the ground shouldn't the roots of our hair be under our scalp?

 

 

 

That's probably why mine is falling out.

 

Is it considered reading a book if you listen to someone else reading it?

No unless you're watching their lips move. Then it's a solid yes

 

Wouldn't it be easier for the sun to wear sunglasses than making all of us wear them?

Sure, do you know where we can get a pair big enough

 

Why is Waldo so elusive?

He's not, he's just hiding

 

How many swipes of underarm deodorant should you use?

Because everyone else in the world is looking for the wrong person....when ya yell Oi Waldo where the bloody hell are ya....he want answer because his name is really Wally.

 

 

WHY is Waldo called Wally in Australia??

 Jillar .....Deodorant usage depends on social distancing

nosmokinjo..... Because as usual nobody knows what you Aussie are taking about

 

 

Is a car wash still a car wash if a truck goes through or does it become a truck wash?

It only becomes a truck stop if it's near a freeway offramp.

 

HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS LOCK? 

Flip the keyboard over

 

Why do people use all capital letters in their posts?

TO GET THEIR POINT ACROSS

 

Do sand fleas eat sandwiches?

Yeah, camelwiches

 

 

How much water can a camel drink?

All of it

 

Why do I hate to cook but always watch cooking competition shows?

You are intrigued that people actually enjoy cooking so you watch

 

Does Doreen wield a regular frying pan or a cast iron one?

A cast iron one, do you need a closer look at it?

 

if my tongue trips over my eye teeth will I not be able to see what I say?

Only if your dentures fall out

 

Why is common sense such a hard thing to realize?

To give us something to bitch about

 

Can I wear my sandals anywhere or just on sand?

Open toe sandals sand only all others wherever you want

 

Why is the television called the boob tube?