Because "attic" was already taken

 

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

You need to ask Capt Kirk for instructions.

 

Why is binge watching shows such a big thing?

Hey we're stuck at home, what else is there to do?!

 

Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

The bus gremlins do

 

If God created all mankind then who created God?

God is eternal and therefore can't be created

 

I know you can't fix stupid but can you fix dumb?

Dumb can't be fixed either because square pegs don't fit in round holes.

 

Is there any real reasons for round abouts?

I think the real question here is is there really any reason for four way stops

 

Do Catholic priests take bets on how many times they can get people to sit, kneel and stand up?

That's a sucker bet because the mass is already pre-determined

 

What's the difference between pixies and fairies?

That's easy, pixies come in sticks and fairies live in magic mushroom circles.

 

How can the unicorn be the national animal of Scotland?

 

 

Edited July 4, 20206 yr by notsmokinjo

Because Donkeys don't know how to prance

 

 

Why do men wear kilts (skirts)?

 

Because all their pants are dirty

 

Why can't my nose ever walk instead of run?

Would you rather your nose did sprints

 

Why are all vegans so neurotic?

Lack of protein

 

Why isn't phonics spelled the way it sounds?

Because then it would be to easy to say

 

Why hasn't pole dancing become an Olympic sport?

Because there's no tips

 

Who's in charge of new words?

Me, I was just about to make a couple new ones up

 

Are there any lactose intolerant cows?

By the cow patties I've seen I'd say they're all lactose intolerant

 

How many dictionaries does this Webster guy own?

Are you talking about Noah Webster or his idiotic brother Fred

 

 

I know about Little Miss Muffet but what the hell is a tuffet?

Well since I still have Webster's dictionary I can look that up and get back to you

 

If I drive North on the freeway do I have to turn on my wipers?

If you wear Depends you won't have to wipe until later

 

So, is a tampon a sanitary napkin or a sanitary sponge?

It's a sponge and only sanitary going in

 

How do you throw away a garbage can?

Put it into a bigger garbage can

 

Why is a barrel the best option to go over Niagara Falls in?

Because the three stooges did it and lived

 

Why are the holes in cats fur always in the right places for their eyes?

Because the single hole goes in the back

 

How many nuts can a squirrel actually hold in their mouth?

It depends on the size of the nut, I think the world record though is 97

 

Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?