To get groceries

 

Why don't dragonflies breathe fire or look like dragons?

Don't dragon flies breath fire in America?... everythings tougher in Australia.

 

So why don't people live in house flies?

The maggots hog all the space

 

What makes cheese so confidential that we need to shred it?

Its the only whey to make sure we are safe.

 

When in rome do as the romans do.... does that mean we should feed people to the lions?

Just the annoying ones

 

How did the Dead Sea die?

Too much salt in its diet.

 

Why isn't the Red Sea red?

It's in menopause

 

What do you say when God sneezes?

"Bloody hell another frickin hurricane... would someone give God an antihistamine or at least make sure he eats more pineapple."

 

Why is it bad if there's a stick in the mud.

 

 

Because retrieving a muddy stick leaves an unpleasant taste in the mouth

 

What is a free gift, aren't all gifts free?

Its a tautology.

 

Is "army intelligence" and oxymoron?

I suppose there's some morons in every branch of the military 

 

What if you're in hell and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

 

Kent... that's gotta be worse than hell  _{(see we miss ya Shane, lol ?}

 

How can Heaven be a place on Earth?

Edited October 25, 20187 yr by notsmokinjo

Because Belinda said so..  nuff said..

 

 

If ice is cold why does it burn?

You're using dry ice. 

 

When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say?

Sausages....

 

 

Why are spiders so creepy..?

because... 8 frickin legs.... 2 fangs..... venom....  blood suckers..... and anything that can shoot threads out its arse that can be toxic and sticky is just a big fat giant NOPE

 

 

Why are snakes so creepy?

Silly, snakes don't creep, they slither.....

 

Did shaved ice have hair on it before it was shaved?

Is ice a euphemism?

 

Is it possible anyone would be that smutty?

In this day and age my guess is yes...

 

When night falls who picks it up?

It's being followed by day, so it gets up and runs. 

 

If the hills are alive Where's the birth certificate? 

No silly it's the hills have eyes not they're alive....

 

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Of course they do, why do you think they are so shiney and sparkly.

 

Why is a pineapple called a pineapple when it doesn't grow on a pine tree?

For the same reason it's called an Apple and doesn't taste like an Apple

 

Does a man eating shark eat women too?

Nope... man eating sharks prefer the flavour of pig over chicken... ?

 

why, when everything disappeared at midnight did the glass slippers remain?

Because it was in the script, silly Billy...!

 

 

Why can I never find the end of a rainbow..?