Recently I got really sad news from my girlfriend...

My mom at her 57 years old started smoking again and she had quit at 46! What is wrong with her!!!

Talked to her about it even though I was mad with her decision we talked calmly and her excuse was... Mom was getting too fat and needed something to lose weight without taking time... Saddest excuse that I've ever heard! I've tried multiple times to talk her out of it, I even threatened her that I wouldn't go there on holidays but she isn't strong enough :'(

 

Ugh, feel so sad for her but at the same time there's nothing I can do to change it without being there.

It is very sad when we see our loved ones smoking, but we know we can't force anyone to quit and unfortunately the addiction will not yield to threats although the intention comes from love and concern, it might help though pointing your mum to this site or to read up on the addiction Allan Carr book has its success with some people, that way mum could ingest the information at her pace, education and support is the key

 

Welcome to the train :)

It is very sad to see someone throw away a brilliant quit....

I smoked 52 years...and wouldn't quit till I was ready...no matter what was said to me....

For me....it's a great reminder to guard your quit always....

It's her own responsibility

I have put on alot of weight since I quit. My addictive mind wants me to start smoking again to lose weight . So dumb

I'm so sorry to hear this - sucks.  Hopefully she'll change her mind soon.

So sorry to read this - but it does prove how important to guard your quit ! Happy to read you are staying strong :-)

Aww sweetie, I genuinely know what you mean, so I will add my thoughts for you to think about.

 

An educated quit is one where in your own time, you come to understand smoking is an addiction. And that any opening can reawaken addiction. It's why nope becomes so crucial. The other way is simply abstaining, choosing not to smoke for now - and those people are more likely to smoke again. Even years down the line. Make sure you stay close and learn about how YOU can stay free, because you can.

 

Mums, should be my specialist subject lol. Even if you were close, you would not change an addicts mind. They must do that themselves. A mum does not take advice from her child well in the first place, trust me when I say it goes even worse when the subject is smoking. 

 

The best you can do here is keep your quit and give advice if it's asked for. Often, folks need to see it's possible and they follow suit. Other times no amount of wishing it to be will change them. Even if you have the best intentions, try and think how you would have taken advice on why you must quit and you'll see...it has to be your own choice. Sorry for your mum and your worry. It's hard to watch I know. xx

Aww sweetie, I genuinely know what you mean, so I will add my thoughts for you to think about.

 

An educated quit is one where in your own time, you come to understand smoking is an addiction. And that any opening can reawaken addiction. It's why nope becomes so crucial. The other way is simply abstaining, choosing not to smoke for now - and those people are more likely to smoke again. Even years down the line. Make sure you stay close and learn about how YOU can stay free, because you can.

 

Mums, should be my specialist subject lol. Even if you were close, you would not change an addicts mind. They must do that themselves. A mum does not take advice from her child well in the first place, trust me when I say it goes even worse when the subject is smoking. 

 

The best you can do here is keep your quit and give advice if it's asked for. Often, folks need to see it's possible and they follow suit. Other times no amount of wishing it to be will change them. Even if you have the best intentions, try and think how you would have taken advice on why you must quit and you'll see...it has to be your own choice. Sorry for your mum and your worry. It's hard to watch I know. xx

 

Thanks for the advice, what I've decided to do was going old school, wrote a sentimental letter that expresses all my feelings for her and in the end there is this catch...

 

"One more thing ... I know that you are  free to make your choices , but smoking is not good for you and you know it, when I'm writing this, its my 3rd day  trying to stop smoking and I do this for me because I want to live long enough to see you old and beautiful and give you all the love that I did not give you today , if you don't do it for yourself , do it for me, there is so much that you have to see and know about me, so, do not make the time go shorter."

 

Later on will send it in the mail to Portugal, hope it works.

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Thank you, Marcus, I totally understand what you're saying, to be honest I was feeling down until now and it wasn't helping much but now my motivation is boosted again. Thank you so much.

Be strong in your quit so maybe she will get some of your strength and try again with you!

People make their own choices in life....we don't always agree but you will regret it one day if you don't see your mom because of choices she has made. I hated the choices my much loved, youngerr Bro made but I supported him until his death from lung cancer a year ago at age 55 yrs. And I miss him everyday....he lived HIS life. I quit smoking so that I may have a chance to avoid the horrible death he had. We all make choices. It is not our place to judge others. We can teach & we can ask....but we cannot force our new lifestyle onto those who don't want it. Blood is blood....no matter what we love those who are killing themselves with a terrible habit. Don't regret the future with those you love. Your decisions are for YOU. Hopefully no one will mourn your early demise. It's a fact of life my friend. Congratulations for not causing your family pain in the future. Congratulations on your strength, courage & defiance. You have said NOPE...not ever. xo

Wishing you peace......I certainly understand standing by helplessly....I was not my Brother's keeper....you are not your Mother's keeper.