Bird in the hand or a turtle in your pocket.

 

I can't believe that it all

seemed so easy to don a cape like Superman and fly...

until I woke up and realized I was dreaming. 

 

Oh how fun it was to

play twister with the chicks.

Then when playing spin the bottle...

It landed on my cousin!

So I decided to

Slap him for what he wanted me to do,

and then he asked if I would.....      (Ha Ha lol)

Kiss his ass instead!

 

So I suggested maybe we should

 

Put that butt crack away.

 

Now, let's discuss....

What's really on your mind.

 

Seems the older you get

the less you cry......................(Lany)

If I could sing like that I would...

Shut up and let them sing it

 

The strangest thing happened today

A bunch of porta pottys fell off the back of a truck!

 

First thing I did was

Roll up my pants and run for high ground.

Then when I tripped....

It seemed so much funnier than when I was sober.

 

I did feel bad for

… the innocent bystanders who I bowled over while I was dodging flying poo. Speaking of UFOs…

Wait....Wait I will continue just can't type because Iam laughing too hard!! Denali.......

 

Little did we know that the terrestrials were very fearful of FLYING POO,

they know if they made contact with any POO it may....

Edited October 26, 20232 yr by Stewbum

Result in them being discovered and turning them from UFO to IFO.

 

I bet a friend 

that he couldn't lay around and be lazy all day on Sunday.

He proved me wrong but I 

Think he cheated.

 

It was obvious 

 

because as I was skydiving I saw him mowing his lawn.

Then when I landed and started my 500k triathalon again saw him

Walking his invisible dog, here's proof

 

That's when I decided

to become invisible and make a movie, but because being a movie star is so tasking and Jimmy Stewart is a much better actor I gave it up and just wanted to be a regular happy bunny again, and just when I thought things were returning to normal

 

 

 

 

My friend Stew called me with some crazy story about him being a happy bunny.

 

You just never

Edited October 30, 20232 yr by jillar

know when there won't be enough carrots.

 

But seriously if the world is like an oyster

… then I should be pooping pearls. Last Halloween I…