Mother, where are you?
with my pain I am so through
Drifting among my cloud
In my heart I still shout
WHY? Why did you leave me?
Can you not see...
I am torn apart and heartbroken
I try to fight and wait to be woken
But this ain't a dream this is real
You are gone and this is the deal
Me on my own, left alone

Your daughter: Evelyn

(English isn't my native language)

I bought a medallion, symbolic to keep her close to my heart: this eases the pain a bit:

 

Evelyn

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

An Irishman once told me;

 

Grief is like a sharpstone in your pocket. You touch it and it cuts.

 

Over time, the edges of that stone get slowly worn away, until eventually the sharpstone becomes a smooth stone. You touch it and it soothes.

 

Time, Evelyn, time.

I know that freaking time I feel the last 10 years in a dream dazzled by the antidepressivant I got, since February I am off so NOW I started to grief and mourn

(((Evelyn))) I am so sorry for you.  When did your mom pass?  That is a beautiful medallion, a wonderful way to keep her close.  

 

After my mom passed, I wore her necklace...never took it off until I came to TX because I was worried it would get broken or lost at work.  Anyway one day I forgot to put it on after my shower.  My friend came to pick me up and just as we were about to leave my neighborhood I realized that I had forgotten to put the necklace on.  I made him drive back to the house so I could get it.  Later that day we got into a horrible car accident.  He was driving way to fast (over 80mph) and we flipped like four times.  Right before that happened, I had taken my seatbelt off to grab a different cd from the back of the car and forgot to put my seatbelt back on when I was done. The rollbar landed two inches from my head and my hair was caught underneath.  I had been sitting in the passenger seat but wound up huddled up in a ball on the driver's seat under the pedals.  Once they finally got me out we were flown to the hospital.  The doctor said if I had been wearing my seatbelt I would have died.  

 

I believe that someone was looking out for me that day.  You mom is watching over you too.  She may not be here in the physical form but I believe she is with you.  Talk to her when you want to.  Cry when you need to.  There are no rules or timelines when it comes to grieving the loss of a loved one.  Know that the pain and the anger will eventually turn to a type of acceptance that allows you to move forward in your life while still keeping your loved one close and keeping all of the wonderful memories alive.  We are all here for you!  

Evelyn,

I am sorry to hear this.  It cannot be easy to lose your mom, so I don't know what that is like.  However, I have lost people very close to me.  What I know is this, you will always miss your mom and it will of course hurt.  As time goes by, you adjust and because you have become accustomed to this new reality without your loved one...it's not as noticeable.  You start to notice beautiful things again, be it birds chirping or meeting friends for lunch.  

Evelyn, I'm so sorry for your loss.

My mom was killed in a car wreck 21 years ago and I have no doubt it's effected my life in almost every aspect. 

Grief can be isolating.  This book, I remember, helped me so much:

http://www.amazon.com/Motherless-Daughters-Legacy-Loss-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B00G1SD5FW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1396661160&sr=1-1&keywords=motherless+daughters

Ava I have that book as well....it's been so long since I read it and was just thinking the other day I should read it again.  

Hugs evelyn...so sorry for your pain.  :(

Evelyn, I'm so sorry for your loss.

My mom was killed in a car wreck 21 years ago and I have no doubt it's effected my life in almost every aspect. 

Grief can be isolating.  This book, I remember, helped me so much:

http://www.amazon.com/Motherless-Daughters-Legacy-Loss-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B00G1SD5FW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1396661160&sr=1-1&keywords=motherless+daughters

Jen, I had no idea...I am sorry  :(

I want to thank everyone for the support and friendship. So kind and caring. 

 

Ava I'm sorry you lost your mom in such a terrible unexpected way. 

 

I'm overwhelmed by the support I receive here (touched) 

 

That book I'll try if I can find it on a Dutch site

Thanks guys.  I tell myself, 'death and taxes.'

I wish I lived in Europe.

I think that would be so much fun.

Evelyn, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I cannot imagine the pain that would cause. (((hugs)))

Evelyn, I'm so sorry for your loss.

My mom was killed in a car wreck 21 years ago and I have no doubt it's effected my life in almost every aspect. 

Grief can be isolating.  This book, I remember, helped me so much:

http://www.amazon.com/Motherless-Daughters-Legacy-Loss-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B00G1SD5FW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1396661160&sr=1-1&keywords=motherless+daughters

 

Jen (Ava) I am sorry for the loss of your mother also.  (((Jen)))

I ordered a small book - christian / jewish about grief, loosing someone and life after death. 

 

Am very curious of how it will be; it was recommended by someone :)

 

'Tears live in a jar after death', (google translate) by I. Livestro

I feel so lonely, hurt. Crying now. Don't need to open a whole new topic just am fed with this today

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V_hepKgbfk

Awww...sorry Evelyn. Big Hugs to you.

 

Crying is OK - we all cry for those we miss.

I know. I'm so angry with myself 'can't it just be over'????? 

((((Evelyn))))

evelyn grief is worked through one day at a time and we learn to deal with it sweetheart and thats just what you are doing you are finally dealing with it even though its sucked a huge great chunk out of you, i promise the hurt gets easier and you dont hurt anymore you still pine and miss them and love them but its not gut wrenching hurt and you never forget them ever, even when it starts to feel better.

 

keep venting here evelyn work it through - grief is a process the more you talk the better you will feel eventually xxxx

 

massive cyber hug for you (((hugs)))

Thank you :)