got a manual for deterring squash bugs in Cantonese. Couldn't figure it out, heh heh.

Inserted a two year birthday card for El Bandito. Hope you get it by Wednesday!

You get a parade for the winter quitters.

 

I insert a newly knitted scarf

and it gets spit out all unraveled, brown and sticky. Must have got some coke spilled on it.

I insert a cowboy hat

You get a Lone Ranger mask

 

I insert this headache

You get a glass of cool water, two advil, a dark room and a head/neck massage

 

I insert an urban moose

and you get a great story by Daniel M. Pinkwater.....  Blue Moose.

 

I insert 50 pieces of origami paper

You get 25 colorful origami paper shuriken!!

 

I insert this cup of cold coffee.

You get coffee cake

 

I insert three bells and a daisy

You get a Convallaria majalis AKA Lily of the Valley

 

I put in my stupid iphone 5

You get a Samsung And a wad of banknotes

 

I put in some cheese slices

you get a 5 slices of pizza!

 

I put in my hand I broke on sunday....

you get good fortune

 

I insert a beautiful shiny and peaceful Wasp

You get a beautiful, shiny, and painful sting.

 

I insert my dog's rawhide chew

You get your nice new pair of boots gnawed beyond recognition and an untouched rawhide chew

 

I insert a hand picked skipping rock

The machine rejects the inserted rock and sends it skipping down the road behind you.

 

I insert my favorite bonsai.

and on it blooms a Delicious apple

 

I insert three unidentifiable keys

It gives you a tungsten skeleton key, one to rule them all.

 

I insert a fake shrunken head from the Halloween box.

out comes Lunch for three

 

I insert the detritus from my smock's pocket 

It sputters and spits out an Admit One ticket to the carnival in town

 

I insert a single peso

You receive the World Bank

 

I insert a wild rose

It spews out rose petals for 20 minutes like you won the jackpot!

 

I insert a withered brown wreath from last christmas

you get a shiny new Menorah

 

i put in a trip for two to Bali

You get a brochure showing all the great things you could have done

 

I insert a chunk of petrified wood stolen from a national park

The machine you gives an polished petrified wood table that sales for lots of mulah at Sotheby's Londin.

 

I insert an old 1980s issue of People's Magazine.

You realize David Hasselhoff was drunk back then too!

 

I insert a heart of glass.