and I sit on my stoop handing out plates to strangers

 

I insert

 

acres of Tulle

and I get an absolute mess because I don't know what I am doing so I throw it to neighborhood cats to play with

 

I insert some Ink

The machine spits it back out at you... shirt ruined. 

 

I insert a hanger

and I un-twist and twist into a fanciful shape to be covered in brightly coloured tissue paper.  

 

I insert

 

a  coat-hanger butterfly/moth sort of sculpture

I hang that on my door

 

I insert some pureed pumpkin

I get the best thanksgiving day pumpkin pie

 

I insert tomorrow's NFL scores today

and out comes my bookie, Glen-The Book of Knowledge.  Bets are placed.  Ducats are exchanged.

 

I insert  a nation of Wampanoag People and some wampum.

You get the true natives of Massachusetts also known as Massasoit.

 

I insert a deep fried turkey.

and the whole trailer park blows up !

 

 

I insert a Canadian

You get a Maple leaf.

 

I insert a purring cat and a blanket warm from the dryer.

and stand back !   out jumps bakon !   all scratched up and yowling about box poopers.

 

I insert

 

calligraphy 

And you get the book of Kells

 

I insert a smart phone

and out pops a helpful teen to show you how to use it .

 

I insert

 

a beautiful song from a magical bird.

You get a rare glimpse of the realm where the bird learned magic.

 

I insert a tub of legos.

and you never step on another lego again as long as you live !

 

I insert a smart phone I made from Legos (p.s. it works)

and you never get bored with your phone because you can keep building it differently

 

I insert a battery that never dies and can power anything.

You get your ticket to become a millionaire.

 

I insert red and green tortilla chips.

You get nachos

 

I insert Bakon.

You get him right back, until he learns to count.

 

I insert two sleeping kitties.

You get a warm foot rest

 

I insert a rehabilitated Bakon

You get a breakfast sandwich.

 

I insert a key to the coke machine.

And you become privey to all future inserts into the machine.

 

for the rest of you, I inserted the bones of twenty chicken carcasses canned over the weekend.

Every Voo Doo and Witch Doctor friended me on Facebook

 

I inserted a  Newly aquired Talisman 

BAM !!!!! You get a Golden Ring  ;)

 

I insert two fitty.

You get some Twinkies

 

I insert a football