JustinHoot99

Thanks all. Today marks day 2. Getting through the first 3 days will be easy again. As I did before, I had my wife hide my car keys. When you physically can not get to the cigarettes, it really diminishes what you perceive as physical withdraws. The mojo is low this time though. It's like saving up a million dollars, then blowing it one night gambling, and thinking "well, I'll just start again". But time will get me over the depression of failing my previous quit. Hopefully this time I can remember how this depression feels when I get the urges to smoke. Any yes, you all can hit me in the head w/ a frying pan whenever you think I need it.

For me, a lesson would be something new I learned, but thats all in the sematics.. But all are true.

Checking ticker.

So I made it to 44 days. My work trip got extended though and the long work days away from home finally brought me to the point I gave in and smoked on 10/23. So I failed my previous quit. I have no issue w/ the term fail, I did not meet my objective which was to not smoke again, and therefore failed the objective. And pretty much instantly I was back up to full addiction resuming my previous pack a day. Any lessons learned? No. It was a long, stressful work trip, but I knew what I was doing, when I did it, and knew what the result would be. So now I get the joy of not only losing the 44 days of red X's on my calendar I worked so hard to get and was so proud of, I get to go through the 3 days of nicotine withdraw. Someone hit me in the head w/ the skillet. Anyone know how to reset the ticker start date?

Sorry I've been out of touch for a bit. Got called to do a last minute test for work out of state and working 12hr days plus data analysis. Probably won't be back till next Monday. Being away from home for first time is creating new kinds of cravings. Still hanging in there. Today marks 6 weeks.

I just spent 15 min typing about the cravings I've been having today because it is such a nice cool, breezy day which is the type of day I would really enjoy hiking and a smoke. Deleted it all because it was rambling and I got through the craving anyway. Point is, if you are having a difficult time, get on here and type. Whether you keep what you type or delete it, just the act of typing can be enough to get you through a craving.

One of my 6 fitness goals at the start of the year was to be able to do 40 standard pushups. My peak this year was 43 so I hit that. Now I just want to keep the ability to do 35. Sometimes I just do standard pushups for a lot of volume, but I also throw in a lot of variations like: spider man, diamond, close and wide grip, 1 leg off the ground, burpees, and elevated leg. Heres a video of me just goofing around with pushups.

A lot of people believe in you.

I sure can't say I'm part of your quitters reunion, but congrats on almost 9yrs of freedom.

Hope your day went smoothly w/ regards to your quit.

2.25mi hike, fast pace

Yowzer. 9 years.

There are a lot of people here supporting you. Boy George supports you as well.

Good morning Linda, I hope this day goes better and finds you feeling stronger. I haven't had to go through a highly stressful situation yet but I can see how it would be a major trigger. Keep turning here and typing as much as is needed. This place is my Chantix. And frying pan. And therapist.

Typing can be the best medicine for a craving. Not as good as hitting your fingers with a hammer, but probably better in the long run. Come here, share, whine, whatever you have to do, but keep the quit.

HIIH- 37 pushups 15 each on weighted situps, horizontal pullups, lift n press, seated dips, 450steps of jogging stretching

Nothin like a good skillet to provide some attitude adjustment.

Day 37. Made it.

Thanks everyone. Made it through. Typing things out is very theraputic. Hearing encouragement is priceless.

Posting on here for no particular reason. Might be useful if I'm having a bad craving and need another tool to distract me though. This is really the gutter. lol

I'm really tired tonight. I stretched for 15min and did my daily set of pullups (3, trying to get to 5). Maybe a walk in a few minutes.

There's a dangerous serious of events gathering that's creating the perfect craving storm: Wife is going out w/ her friends tonight, I'm bored, I'm tired. My old boss called and wants to know if I would consider taking a job in his dept which would mean much more money and benefits, but give up a job that pays reasonably well and that I love and have a lot of freedom in. Tough decision. Perfect time for me to sneak out, buy a pack, and enjoy 5 or 6 cigarettes while taking a slow, enjoyable walk in the woods. Wife would never know. Plus, it's been 36 days and I really do deserve a break from the cravings for just one night. I'm sure I could start again tomorrow and no one would be the wiser. Except I know it will never turn out like that. If I smoke tonight, I'll throw the pack away tonight in a fit of rage, swearing this was just a one time thing. Then tomorrow, with my confidence and mojo gone, I'll buy another pack. And I won't stop. It always plays out that way. It'll be well over a year before I get the courage and inner strength to try again. Tonights smoke will cost me $4000 and require I smoke at least 7000 more in that one year. Do I really want to start sneaking around and scheduling my time around smoking again? Leaving or avoiding activities because it would interfere w/ my getting my fix? Am I really that stupid that I would give up a 36day quit and pay $4000 for the 5 or 6 cigarettes. 36 days ago I was desperate to be where I am now. With one reckless behavior tonight, I could place myself right back there again. I would prefer hitting my head w/ a skillet or my thumb w/ a hammer over that. Time to stop whining like a little B. (my private mantra) I will make tomorrow day 37. Thanks for listening. Typing is a great distraction.

That's a lot of action. I can't compete w/ that. Todays exercise: 15min bike ride + stretching + 3 circuits of 15 reps each: Pushups (1st set was 35) Weighted situps Lift and press Horizontal lat pull

Bet you felt kind of alone as a closet smoker. You aren't. Other than accidentally when driving past me when I was driving and smoking, nobody has ever seen me smoke. Not even my wife. It is this disgusting addiction that repulses me so much I would never do it in front of anyone. So I know EXACTLY why you aren't going to open up to your friends. This site served as my place to open up and get support and it can help you as well. Keep in touch.

Sounds good. I was actually thinking that would be more appropriate after posting. Thx.