mathewarthur

I'm at my wits end with trying to quit. It feels like an endless cycle of shot nerves, bad health, and defeat, then repeat. I'm only 38 and I've tried everything to quit, from gum and patches, to cold turkey and doing hours of yoga everyday. I'm really ready to quit but don't know how to manage the anxiety of not having a smoke. It's how I mark time passing, get work done, calm myself. At the same time I know these are just patterns and habits and part of addiction. I've read every quit smoking book and tried dozens of apps. I know it just takes willpower or a shift in perspective, but I can't seem to ever get it to work. I feel powerfully and devastatingly addicted both chemically and psychologically. Part of my thinks I'm afraid of life without cigarettes being empty. Which is silly because my life is otherwise pretty great. I'm also afraid that if I quit smoking I won't be able to finish my PhD, I can't figure out how to write without smoking. Can anyone who over-intellectualizes things or also felt at their complete wits end share ways that they quit?